When in Rome, don’t do as the Romans do
East and the West are two mainstream cultures of the world. Eastern countries are Central Asian states, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Palestine, Oman, India, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Bhutan, Nepal, Saudi Arabia and many others. Western world comprises the United Kingdom, the United States, Norway, Poland, Sweden, Canada, Australia and others. Eastern culture is completely different from western culture. There is a famous maxim attributed to Saint Ambrose, Bishop of Milan, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do”, but it is better to follow our own culture of the East when someone goes to any occidental country, because eastern culture is better than western culture. Contemporary example of this is that when Iranian president Hassan Rouhani went to France in January 2016 and asked for Halal and Alcohol-free lunch with Francois Hollande, but lunch scrapped after host refused to take wine off the menu.
As Allama Muhammad Iqbal said in his verse, “Albeit winter wind had the swiftness of sword, even in London I didn’t give up the habit of early morning rise”. Allama Iqbal tried to say in his verse that during his time of stay in London he faced hardship, but didn’t mingle in western culture and continued his earlier routine.
After comparing eastern culture and western culture it comes to know that our eastern culture is much better than western culture. It is a common perception that western women are in a better position as compared to eastern women, but the reality is opposite to that. Dr. Farzana Bari, director of the gender studies department at Quaid-e-Azam University, described her experience which shows the real situation of western women.
According to Dr. Farzana Bari, on March 3, 2013, she was traveling on Air France flight 1139 from Vienna, Austria and landed in Paris, where a man started punching on a stranger woman’s face while pulling by her hair in the plane and no one went to the woman’s help and even some enjoyed the situation while having a smile on their faces. Afterwards the man with another woman and a child left the plane and went away.
The violated woman instead of calling Police started weeping in a typical manner because as per their folkways this all was common. We can’t imagine all this in Pakistan because we give a special reverence to females. If a man in Pakistan misbehaves with a female, then many people come to save her, which is a positive point of our culture. So it is better to continue following this aspect, instead of adopting their style.
Religious factor cannot be ignored in a culture. Eastern societies give more importance to spirituality as compared to western societies. According to Gallup Poll research report 100 percent population of Bangladesh, 99 percent of Sri Lanka, 97 percent of Afghanistan, 92 percent of Pakistan, 84 percent of Iraq and 77 percent population of India are religious. In contrary to that, western culture is less religious. According to the same research report, seventeen percent population of Sweden, nineteen percent of Denmark, 27 percent of the United Kingdom, 40 percent of Germany, 41 percent of Switzerland and 42 percent of the Canadian population is religious.
Islam, the second largest religion of the world, cannot be neglected while discussing religion. Islam is ubiquitous in the East, but the situation is not same in the West. Indonesia has 204 million Muslim population, Pakistan has 178 million, India has 172 million, Bangladesh has 145 million, and Afghanistan has 29 million Muslim population. On the other side in the western world Muslim are in the minority. While keeping in front this point, it is better to remain the follower of own religion instead of adopting what is common in the western world.
Whichever the religion is, it maintains the rules and ethics and its followers remain within the circumference of those ethics. If there is no any religion in a society, then it will lead to unethical actions like improper code of dresses, drugs, and prostitution, and eventually the society will fall.
One another cultural factor which should not be followed, even if someone moves to any occidental country, is family style. Eastern cultures are family centric, but in western civilizations, the self is given preference over family. In eastern countries, people like to live with family, they give respect to their family members, try to understand the problems of siblings and spouse and try to solve other’s problems as their own, but in western countries no one bothers to understand others problems and prefers to live separately and doesn’t like to consult their matters with their family.
According to national censuses of countries, in 2011 the numbers of homes in Canada with just one occupant were 27.6 percent, 27 percent Americans were living alone in 2013 and thirteen percent population of England and Wales were living alone in 2011. In India only 1.1 percent population is living alone and about 0.8 percent Pakistanis are living alone, which are very less as compared to western countries. Living alone and not consulting a problem with family members, causes tension, anxiety, frustration and many other psychological problems. Western people who live with their family members they all have to work to fulfill economical needs of the family. In eastern cultures, it is the male’s responsibility to earn for his spouse and children, but in western countries, women also have to face this burden and after a certain age their children also have to work with studies for bread and butter. Western women are forced to work with their male counterparts due to their economical situations, but in eastern countries mothers work with their own will. As per national statistics, 88 percent British mothers, 82 percent American mothers, and 76 percent Swedish mothers are working women. On the eastern side India has 31 percent female workers and Pakistan has 24.4 percent working females and not all of them are mothers.
If a person marries, then it is his responsibility to bear the burden of family and provide all what his wife needs at home, but if his wife wants to work for earning, then he should not deny her. From this point of view eastern mothers are happier than western mothers so it is better to continue following this factor of eastern culture.
In western culture when one doesn’t try to understand the other’s problem and only thinks about own matters, then it is followed by controversies which leads to divorce. There are many factors of divorce, but divorce rate in western culture is really high. According to NVSS National Marriage and Divorce Rate Trends, 53 percent of American couples’ relations end in divorce. According to Eurostat research report, 47 percent of marriages in the United Kingdom end in divorce, 55 percent French marriages end in divorce and divorce rate in Germany is 49 percent. Belgium with highest divorce rate, 71 percent, is also a western country.
In eastern culture divorce rate is low due to understanding, compromise and involvement of families to settle disputes. The divorce rate in India is thirteen per 1000 marriages which is lowest in the world. India has the lowest divorce rate because there is no option of divorce in Hinduism; women have to endure all the cruelties of husband for the whole life. So Muslim countries of eastern culture where divorce is allowed, there also divorce rate is low comparing to western countries. The divorce rate in Libya is five percent, in Tajikistan is six percent, and in Uzbekistan and Pakistan is eight percent. So even if someone moves to occidental country, then he should not adopt divorce trend which is common there.
After divorce, the next factor penetrated in western culture is their eating and entertainment style. Alcohol, cigarette, drugs, late night parties, casinos and pubs are common which are unethical and bad for health. Junk foods which are the main cause of obesity are also popular in western culture.
The Western concept is, "the more you expose the more modern you are." On western beaches females lie for sunbathe in public and prefer to wear those dresses in which they can show off their body and going on a date with their boyfriends is also common due to which most of the girls lose their virginity in early age. According to the centers for disease control and prevention, only 12.3 percent of females and 14.3 percent of male Americans aged 22 to 24 are virgin, whereas the average age of first marriage in the United States is 27 for women and 29 for men.
So what happens in western culture after doing all this rubbish in life, when a person enters in the old age? In old age, his/ her children through him/ her in nursing homes. 1.3 million Americans from 46.2 million population of 65 years or older live in nursing homes where they perish.
So it proves that our eastern culture is better than western culture and when in Rome, or not in Rome, don’t do as the Romans do. Instead of following western culture, it is wise to follow our own folkways and style of living. Due to globalization and fast means of communication new generation is adopting western culture which should not be adopted and our own eastern culture should be promoted.
Jamal Abdul Nasir
jamalpsychologist@gmail.com
