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Old Saturday, July 15, 2017
Mohammed Uzair Mohammed Uzair is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PartyPooper View Post
This essay has a potential to get through if the examiner doesn't find fault with your particular examples of 'UN's military engagements'. The only weakness is the irrelevant bits found in between.

For example the essay would have been complete without the point 2. It appears redundant.

Moreover, in points 5 and 6, you have digressed from the actual topic which demanded that you analyze world peace in context of UN's increasing "military engagements"; you have instead analyzed world peace in UN's context alone (leaving out the military engagements bit and irrelevantly focusing on UN's structure and organization). Let's hope the examiner doesn't notice that.
I totally agree with you. The only reason why i discussed UN's organizational shortcomings and other issues, which though do not seem very relevant with the proposition, was because i believed it played a vital role in the failure of UN's Military engagements. Had UN not been facing these issues, it might have had experienced success vis-a-vis its military engagement. So, i tried to link organizational shortcomings/issues with the failure of its military engagement. Lets hope it works out.
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