View Single Post
Old Sunday, June 30, 2019
aishalam's Avatar
aishalam aishalam is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 160
Thanks: 7
Thanked 94 Times in 69 Posts
aishalam is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
Good one. You have hit the bulls eye.
But, there are points i wanna raise:
first, 4-b heading looks a bit ambiguous. Though, its correct but relevancy is effected.
Second, "The way forward" is not required. Usually, in such essays solutions are not demanded.
Hope it helps!
Thank you for the comments. I appreciate the feedback.

I wanted to include some other viewpoints as well such as voilence linked with incompetence in domestic abuse and the racial viewpoint-the idea that some races are more prone to voilence and hence are "incompetent" or "inferior" (backed up with arguments such as the Colonizers' Civilising the savages campaign and the US justice system and the disproportionate amount of black male arrests). But I felt that these deviated from the core too much so decided to leave them off.

I wanted to wrap it up with the way forward portion but I do see your point. The 4-b I added to show that not only those in power can make the mistake of resorting to voilence to cover incompetence but often the opressed take that route as well. In fact there are studies done that show peaceful protests have a substantial percent more chance of success than voilent ones. In any case appreciate the comments. I'll bear them in mind.
Reply With Quote