A good one, still that could have been far better by adding the following thoughts to your essay....
Sports tourism
Tourism guide
Food festivals
Religious harmony and etc
Some current data pertaining to tourism e.g.
Restart of flight of British Airways in Pakistan
Number of tourists visited last year
Ministry of tourism and
And tourism based tv channel ?

In challenges the biggest ones are
Religious intolerance and
Cultural barriers

In opportunities one must have highlighted the ratio of tourism adding to GDP and labour force and employment opportunities. Finally one could conclude that promoting tourism is the key in establishing peace in Pakistan.