Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain
Though its a good attempt, content need more work. Add more points in "why its a myth." And the argument that "political is level playing field..." rules out the face that there are more men in politics than women.. Women also faces barriers in various aspects just to enter... Add more concrete arguments in both.
It will be better to write one liner/short sentences in the outline, makes it easier to convey.
Keep practicing!
hope it helps!
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I have revised the outline, keeping in view your suggestions. Please have a look at the introduction of the essay also.
INTRDODUCTION: GENDER EQUALITY IS A MYTH!
The year was 1989. The Berlin Wall had fallen. A female quantum chemist, aged 35, crossed from East to West Germany and availed a chance to enter into a male-dominated field – politics. Astonishingly, her political ascent culminated in Germany’s Chancellorship. The woman was Angela Merkel who is Germany’s first and most powerful female Chancellor. During her 16 years in office, she has steered Germany relatively unscathed through global political and financial crisis and has certainly outperformed her male counterparts. How a female from a small town of Berlin was able to excel in a patriarchal field? How was she able to succeed in a leadership role which is considered suitable only for men? What placed her in an equal position to that of her male equivalents? Indeed, it was her ambition, her intellectual prowess and the suitable exposure given to her, which secured her position among the world’s most powerful leaders. Like Angela Merkel, there are many empowered women in the world who are practically embracing the idea of gender equality. Nonetheless, many people still posit that gender equality is a myth. No doubt, gender inequality had been present in the earlier civilizations because of the importance of physical strength. However, the modern world thrives on intellectual brilliance which is not restricted to any gender. Furthermore, the social norms are now more gender tolerant, the economic spheres are more participatory and political realms are more inclusive than before. The gender gap is perpetually diminishing, although at a slow pace. Gender equality still has a long way to go, but it is achievable in any way. If equitable opportunities are provided regardless of the gender, anyone can excel based on his or her capabilities. Thus, gender equality is not a myth in the modern world rather it is achievable in an inclusive and participatory society with equitable standards along with provision of equal opportunities to both genders.