@ dear preshan Gul:- this is quite an absorbing piece of writing. makes for a good reading. it is replete with quotes and and intrestings analogies, and smoothly concluded with forceful piece of poetry. i think this should earn you good grades.
there are few 'unsuitable' words ,which i would like to bring it to your notice, that you have written in the last paragraph :
Quote:
|
of Andrew Young I would like to end my harangue:-
|
Brother!! harangue?! i quite frankly think this was quite dispassionate piece of writing. wherein, benefits and harms of money are highlighted; a postive way forward is proposed in last beautiful poem. this does not seem to be a harangue. secondly, in my view, you should not write in essay: '' i would like..'' the refrence should be totally a neutral one...i think, words like''i would like'' are highly becoming for a writer of international repute.... those acclaimed, authenicated... i may be wrong..
secondly, prefer british english over american english. labor should be labour. and such like ..
this is my view.
regards