dear it was a real nice effort to write a precis, get it scanned and then post it over here anyhow after reading it few points come to mind which i think merit discussion for your , mine and all other aspirants collective benefit
1) title really doesnt make any sense, it needs improvement, compare it with Adil's simpe but lucid title
2) why to break the precis into paragraphs, this is one of the reason you crossed the max word limit
3) i dont think these spellings are correct "" studdies ""
4) "" extreme weather causes sadness in mood and unwillingness to work "" where this message was conveyed in the original passage
5) "" Advancing medical sciences is...."" i think, advancing medical science is , could have been a safe sentence
6) "' may be , in future , generations to come find.... "" i think , may be , in future , generations to come will find......."" could have been a safe sentence
7) "" to change the whole world in to one government..."" why not to write INTO in place of in to

and lastly adil's overall expression in precis should serve as an example to be followed
and other fellows please comment on my post for betterment

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Dr. Hassan Mabroor