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Old Friday, December 25, 2009
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Emotions Emotions is offline
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Smile Good Work

It is indeed a good work. my some brotherly suggestions

1: create some more cohesion between your ending and next starting paragraph. Give a clue in your previous para that what you are going to mention in next para.

2: add some more concrete facts & figures

3: add some more points about bad governance including regional disparities, long conflict over NFC Awards, root causes of the separation of East Pakistan

4: mention at least 1 key word from your all paragraphs of body in your conclusion, so that the examiner at once recalls whatever you have written in your essay.


I once again appreciate your effort.
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