Assalam-o-Alikum....!!!!!
Saleeqa you have done a good job
. But there is always a room for improvement. So here are some of my suggestion for your essay to adorn that in a more organized way.
First of all, I would ponder over your outline.
You have started your essay with history of Pakistan in a remote way of democracy. I don't say that to write history is inappropriate rather it is an essential part of an essay, but it should be after a brief and concise introduction of the topic accompanying with present scenario.
In section of effects and consequences, you have used the technique of SWOT analysis, as is apparent from your outline section of Threats and Strengths. Would not it be more suitable to use the whole SWOT analysis?
Strengths
Weaknesses
Opportunities
Threats
Let me try to make a re-organized outline from your existing outline.
1. Introduction
i- Quote of Abraham Lincoln “Democracy is Govt of the people, by the people, for the people.”
ii- Definition of Democracy.
iii- Elaboration of Democracy.
iv- Institutions of Democracy.
v- Present system of Democracy.
vi- Present Political Scenario in the wake of Democracy.
2. Brief History very concisely ( as you have given in your opening paragraph)
3. Strengths of Democracy
4. Weaknesses of Democracy
5. Opportunities for Democracy ( what opportunities democracy can avail in the present prevailing scenario?)
6. Threats to Democracy
7. Suggestions and Recommendations to eradicate the threats.
8.
Conclusion having critical analysis of the present condition of the political process.
Many Subheadings can be placed under heading no 3 to 7, but due to time constraint I have kept my self away from doing that. I hope you would add these heading by yourself.
Regards and Reverence