View Single Post
  #4  
Old Sunday, February 21, 2010
rishzzz's Avatar
rishzzz rishzzz is offline
PMS - S&GAD
Qualifier: Awarded to those Members who cleared css written examination - Issue reason: Css 2010 - Roll no 5865PMS / PCS Award: Serving PMS / PCS (BS 17) officers are eligible only. - Issue reason: 2011 - Merit No. 43
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lahore
Posts: 742
Thanks: 434
Thanked 752 Times in 448 Posts
rishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nicerishzzz is just really nice
Default

your expression is mashallah good, but leme tell u few imp things, that ll be helpful for you.

Your outline is superb but too long, try to make it a lil precise so that you do not explain every idea in just outline, keep something for detail and body
Quote:
Extremism is a critical problem faced by Pakistani society today, leading to social, economic, cultural, political turmoil and humanitarian crises, it has nurtured due to internal and external factors, internal being the prevalence of social injustice, inequality, illiteracy and exploitation in the society and external factors being the involvement of Pakistan in the regional and international power game and proxy wars.
Your intro para is extremely beautiful arranged with healthy phrasals and verbosity, i would recommend u not to make such a long sentence in the very start, so that u may not incur any punctuation or structural mistakes cz in the very start impression is much important to keep the examiner's look at ur essay Intact....

Be justified both the break-ups of the topic talibanization and extremism, u discussed more of extremism, what Kawish said and explicit approach should also have been their to make it an overview essay rather one-sided

Comments: You're good at ur expression,tenses,vocab,phrases,idiomatic expressions and you need very little practice to be among the smiling faces....thanx
__________________
“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.”
Reply With Quote