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Old Thursday, November 25, 2010
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nickfury nickfury is offline
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Very well written, excellent use of grammar and the facts. Good job.

I pointed out a few changes, check them out plus something i noted was "right" and "right" try to change the right/wrong Right to something else, doesn't sound so good to me for your call.

Change "thing" to "something"
Quote:
The right to a something must only be put into effect when its auspiciousness is ensured.
Instead of "in the same" you could use "Likewise". Try to rewrite the sentence to avoid using "thing". Doesn't sound so good, dont you think?
Quote:
Likewise, one’s prerogative to a certain [thing] does not....
Instead of using "right" the second time in the same sentence even though the meaning is different, try using "accurate, ethical, proper, precise".
Quote:
The exercising of a right can be [right] as long as it...
"Wrong" It doesn't sound too bad here but see what you can do with it.
Quote:
The right becomes wrong when it does not bring positive results. It also becomes wrong when

"whether or not it is [accurate]"
whether or not it is right to exercise a right that
Quote:
State is an entity which derives itsauthority from its people.

"and let the state secure...

Thus, the state gets the...
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