Dear Kamran, your critical analysis of my previous expansion helped me alot, so will this. However, I need to register some reservations here.
1. Why islam, sir? We are muslims, but by no standards does it mean that we are a great civilisation. Secondly, why to exclude western civilization? Why not to be inclusive?
2. I'm sorry I could not get your point regarding organisation of paragraphs. Would you please throw some light? It will be a great favour if you reorganise it for me.
3. Transitional words? What are these? I'm sorry brother, I'm very weak at grammar. Do not take it as a joke. I'm serious. I've never attended any grammar school, nor did anyone teach me. I'm from a government school where teachers themselves hardly know what they are teaching. Please elaborate this transitional word thing and do mention how often we should use such words.
Last but not the least sir, I'd written a sentence describing many things at one time without using conjunction, you'd highlighted that. Your point is valid though, i've read many standard pieces of writing with such structures. How would you negate my claim?
And sir, please share your contact number once again via my email. I'm sorry, before i could check updates here, your number was edited. I hope you won't mind.