Thread: Global Warming
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Old Saturday, July 30, 2011
chemguy chemguy is offline
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Your understanding of the topic is commendable. Trust me, for a first attempt, this effort is praiseworthy. But, there is always room for improvement.

First off, keep in mind that a paragraph is supposed to be an entity with one idea alone. If you want to talk about alternative energy sources (Here being a subtopic, and not the topic of essay) you need to dedicate one entire paragraph to it. It will not only help reader, but also help you focus on one thing at a time.

Here's an example from your essay:

Quote:
The main solution of global warming is use of alternative energy source such as solar, wind and hydropower etc. instead of coal, oil and natural gas.
The sun is most powerful source of energy. Sunlight or solar energy can be used for electricity generation, heating homes and lightening etc.

The second one is wind energy. Wind energy used for centuries to sail ships and drive wind mills that grind grains. Today, wind energy is captured by wind turbines and used to generate electricity.

The last one is hydropower, which is created from flowing water. Hydropower is used to generate electricity. Dams are best example of hydropower energy process.
Quote:
he global warming causes the melting of ice-caps and glaciers. The melting ice increases the sea level and reduces fresh water. Rise in sea level causes floods and cyclones and lack of fresh water impacts our food production.
The effect of global warming is ever evident on animal too. Some animals lose their natural habitats and their inability to adapt to the rapid changes in the climate. These causes extinguish of many species of plant and animals.
The effect of global warming can also be felt on seasons. There is a shift in season as summers are getting longer than winters.
Work on your articles. You have written many needless definite articles i.e. 'the'.
Quote:
The main causes of global warming are the increased concentration of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. The increase in the greenhouse
The boldfaced 'the's are either wrong or redundant.
Also note that it should be "The main cause of global warming is the increased concentration of ..."

Quote:
United Nations Framework Convention
It should be United Nation's

Quote:
The slight change in temperature was noticed
Weakens your voice. The word 'slight' gives an impression like the topic isn't that important. "The temperature change was first ..."

Quote:
Now situation is that the temperature raises 0.7f to 1.7f and still it is gradually increases
This sentence is grammatically incorrect. It should be "the temperature has rose from 0.7 F to 1.7 F and is still increasing". See that the notation of Fahrenheit should be capitalized.

Quote:
Coal is another major source of carbon dioxide and produces 1.7 more than natural gas and 1.25 more than oil.
This sentence doesn't make any sense. '1.7 more'... what? Is it 1.7 times more? Or 1.7 % more?

Quote:
The other one is deforestation which has to blame for 25% of all carbon dioxide releasing in the atmosphere, by cutting and burning of about 34 acres of trees each year.
Very weak line. Also it should be "which is to be blamed for" and "released" not "releasing".

Quote:
Climatologists
It shouldn't be capitalized.

It is better not to write "etc." in essay. It raises red flags in the mind of examiner because majority of the time it means he/she doesn't have any more to say.

Why did you mention chemical fertilizer in your essay? Always give examples that strongly correlate the evidence with the issue at hand. Chemical fertilizer is a very weak argument here. Yes they cause infertility in land inhibiting plant growth and, so chemical fertilizers contribute to global warming. Can this be considered a cause to the effect of global warming? Barely. Anyone reading this will be predisposed to thinking of benefits of chemical fertilizers than of its downsides. Your mention of 'dead zones in ocean' was totally irrelevant.
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