Quote:
Originally Posted by Roshan wadhwani
PRECIS:
England has won the Jules Rimet Trophy by defeating Germany in the finals. The match kept the people in suspense till the last moment and left all the streets in England and Germany bare. It has been the most eventful World cup so far which started with the stealing of the trophy and its surprising retrieval by a dog, then England’s win over Argentina in the quarter finals brought many allegations of partiality, bias and fraudulence of referees which annoyed Latin American teams and caused rift in FIFA, then Italy’s victory over one of the favourites Brazil in the quarter-finals, North Koreans reached in the quarters by beating Portugal with shocking performance proving that Asians could also play football. Besides all this, many players were also suspended owing to foul play during matches. Finally, England emerged as a victor for its well-organised and untiring efforts under the competent guidance of team manager General Alf Ramsay. Their Prime Minister Wilson flew back from Canada to witness the final. The victory may avert the economic crisis, and save the pound from devaluation.
Heading: England's Victory
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If you add "
Very last moment",it will be more appropriate.
Bare=
Deserted isn't better? I mean "for streets"
England's win=I don't know if it's the right word.I never heard.England's victory?
Partiality,Bias=Both have same meaning so one word should be omitted as you know it's all about conveying meaning in few words.
Then Italy's.......=This sentence and the next one,both doesn't seem connected.It seems as you jumped to next line.Kindly connect them either by omitting "comma" or by putting a "full stop"
all this=additional words;
Besides is enough.
well organised and untiring efforts=England emerged as a victor.It's very clear so I don't think why how should be added or one of these words will be enough as the next words explain well "under the
"competent" guidance of..." It clears everything.
Excellent attempt.Let me tell you,I have least interest in matches stuff so may be I didn't evaluate well.
Keep it up
