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Old Sunday, July 20, 2008
S.H.Virk S.H.Virk is offline
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Self-Actualization / Lack of Self-Actualization


One of Baba Bullah Shah’s mystic notes flow like this:

Parh parh ilm hzar kitabban,
kadi apnay aap noon prhya nai
Ja ja wardey mander maseeti,
kadi mun apnay vich warya nai.


Ah ! self-actualization….
What are we here for ?
For collecting heaps of wealth?
Fame and a big name?
The dream counter-part?
For worshipping God?

Do you think that becoming a CSP would satisfy your thirst and you would not crave for more?

Well, irrespective of your caste, color and creed; if you take a little time and ponder, your answer would be NO. It is not the destination, the ends. Even worshipping God is not the ends in itself: for some the ends of the worship is the reward of heaven; for some others it is an effective means to reach out to the mystery of The Creator and the universe; some worship God to find peace while some others because they believe that their God is worth worshipping.

Do we do this for God?
Does he need this?

No. He doesn’t; and we do it for ourselves because we want our ‘TAKMEEL’ – there are many English words to translate the word but I find this one more suitable here.

During my previous job I came across men of honor, criminals, diplomats, exploiters and the exploited but I found one thing common in all of them: I found that they are all striving for their ‘TAKMEEL’ though every one had his own notions of ‘TAKMEEL’ and used means varying to others; legal for himself and illegal for others or legal even for others. They seemed to me trying to fill some desert places within them and for this purpose they run after illusions which lead them to deep dark unfathomable forest of frustrations. Why?

Lack of self-actualization! Yes, you have got it right.

What if Mr. / Ms A wanna go to Islamabad from Lahore and he/ she catches a bus from the bus-stop without determining where it is bound to go? It may take him to Peshawer!

What if you find indomitable attraction in something on your way to your destination? It can slow your pace and may be you would waste your whole life caught in its glimmer.

It happens so, certainly, when one is not focused or has not an actualized self. Bertrand Russel, the famous American philosopher and mathematician has very convincingly put this idea in ‘The Causes of Unhappiness’ in these words: “wealth is a means to happiness and not happiness itself….” But, unfortunately, it becomes the ends for many of us, and means as well as ends to the most; resulting in frustration at the end. Yes, lack of self-actualization leads to the wilderness of frustration.

“Know thyself” said the great philosopher Socrates; perhaps, one of the most précised pieces of advice ever given by the wisest minds on the face of this earth. One is supposed to be Focused for that and once you get connected, downloading starts. ‘TAKMEEL’ depends upon the speed of downloading which ultimately depends upon the person striving for it. It may take, as I said earlier, the whole term of your natural life. Because your self is a complicated being, perhaps the most complicated, specially, for u. so complicated that Socrates, the great Greek philosopher, the wisest among the men of his times, was forced to say:

“The more I know, I come to know how little I know.”

Finally we have recognized the destination, the ends and means as well. What ever we do during our stay in this world is means to our ’TAKMEEL’.

So, let us know ourselves:
Who I am?
What I want?
What can make me get to it?
Am I doing it for pelf, power and position?
Am I a megalomaniac?
Am I doing it for my family?
Or for myself?
Would the way I am choosing to tread lead me to my destination?...
Ask yourself.

Whatever the cause is, it would give you strength and courage to produce the effect. The more powerful is the cause, the higher would be the effect.
Have you watched ‘The Cinderella Man’ played by Russel Crowe? The ordinary boxer who could not win an ordinary fight and his license is canceled, but then his stature touches the skies when he finds his family starving. He finds a cause in his loving wife and the off-spring for whom he then do even the most humiliating jobs and this cause gives strength to his soul and he becomes the champion beating the man more powerful than he….

Have you not watched the movie or read the book? No problem, don’t worry. Just look deep into the past years when you were a small kid. Remembered something? I hope you can see your parents doing the same what the Cinderella man did. Now you are recalling what your parents have undergone for you. Do you want to help them see their dreams come true? You want to repay them though you can’t? Yes, you want to. You see, you have the reason at last. You can do it now. Nothing can stop you. You know what? Doing it for them, you are heading towards your ‘TAKMEEL’. A smile on their wrinkled face can give you what the whole world together can’t. You are focused now. You have actualized yourself at last.

But you must differentiate being focused and being abnormal. I mean no offence to the book-worms, or sensitive souls but shutting yourself in four walls because you are preparing for CSS is a sign of abnormality. It is going to do you no good, nor it is desirable or recommendable. We need to be moderate. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) ordained: MYIANA RAVI BEHTREEN HIKMAT-E-AMLI HAI. And the Holy Quran says: AUR ALLAH HUD SAY GUZARNAY WALON KO PASAND NAHI KARTA…. And if so, certainly secluding yourself form the normal routine of life is not commendable. You need to create the equilibrium where you do not lose anyway. I would not recommend you that you should not give time to those who are closed to your heart or you should not go for a walk or dinner, or you should not read magazines or poetry because it is not part of CSS syllabus. Remember your intellect and the soul need food the same way your body does. Create balance, the equilibrium where no one loses. I was doing my job, very pressing one and I know many of my friends doing the same while preparing for CSS and we Thank God today, have no regrets at all that we missed something in life for an examination. I wonder if the person who does so is not confused. For example relating to the above quoted motivational cause, you are doing it for your parents and you cannot sit with them and have a chat or they ask you to do something and you say a big NO believing that you are doing it for them and it is they who would be proud when you succeed. A bird in hand is better than two in bush. You are depriving the ones you care the most of the happiness you can give for something that is distant and uncertain too. Get focused not a maniac.

Never forget you are working for your ‘TAKMEEL’. Live a normal life with satisfaction and contentment, and without regrets of the present that would become of the past soon.

I finish with this deeply conceived short verse of Elizabeth Sewell:

I will drain
Long draughts of quiet
For purgation.

Remember
Twice daily
Who I am.

Will lie o’ nights
In the bony arms of Reality
And be comforted.

I Explain it like this:
Stanza 1= step 1: We need some spare time and silence to meditate about ourselves.
Stanza 2= step 2: The first step culminates here in self-actualization.
Stanza 3= step 3: Self- actualization enables a man to stand and face the bitter realities and coping with them he gets completed, i.e., TAKMEEL.

Rabbir hamhuma kma rabba yani sagheera. Ameen.

Regards.
__________________
"You interpret my heart, my nature, as you wish to believe it. In truth, I have no secret longing to be saved from myself." (Eugene Onegin – Alexander Pushkin)

Last edited by Last Island; Monday, July 21, 2008 at 04:43 AM.
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