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Old Wednesday, September 09, 2015
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Post Attempted precis passage; Please refer improvements

Passage:
I designed, after my first voyage, to spend the rest of my days at Baghdad, but it was not long ere I grew weary of an indolent life, and I put to sea a second time, with merchants of known probity. We embarked on board of a good ship, and after recommending ourselves to God, set sail. One day we landed on an Island covered with several sorts of fruit-trees, but we could see neither man nor animal. We walked in the meadows, along the streams that watered them. Whilst some diverted themselves with gathering flowers, and others fruits, I took my wine and provisions, and sat down near a stream betwixt two high trees, which afforded a delightful shade. I made a good meal,and afterwards fell asleep. I cannot tell how long I slept, but when I awoke the ship was no longer in view.
In this sad condition, I was ready to die with grief. I cried out in agony, beat my head and breast, and threw myself upon the ground, where I lay some time, overwhelmed by a rushing current of thoughts, each more distressing than the last. When I gazed towards the sea I could discern nothing but sky and water; but looking over the land I beheld something white; and coming down, I took what provision I had left, and went towards the object, which was so distant that at first could not distinguish what it was.
As I approached, I thought it to be a white dome, of a prodigious height and extent. I drew near to it, and walked round it; but found no door to it; and I found that I had not strength nor activity to climb it, on account of its exceeding smoothness. I made a mark at the place where I stood, and went round the dome, measuring its circumference; and lo ! it was fifty full paces; and I meditated upon some means of gaining an entrance into it;
but no means of accomplishing this occurred to me.
By this time the sun was about to set, and all of a sudden the sky became as dark as if it had been covered with a thick cloud. I was much astonished at this sudden darkness but much more when I found it occasioned by a bird of a most extraordinary size, that came flying towards me. I remembered that I had often heard mariners speak of a miraculous bird called the roc, and conceived that the great dome which I so much admired must be
her egg. Shortly afterwards, the bird alighted, and sat over the egg.
(430 words)

Precis :

A man set on a sea voyage with some merchants, from Baghdad. While cruising, the ship anchored, temporarily at an inhabited island. While passengers wandered and perambulated the beautiful island to pick up fruits and flowers that man ate and drank wine. Caressed by the tender ambiance, he slept in the shade of a tree. When he woke up, to his dismay, ship had departed. While inundated by the desolation, he mourned and lamented, an enormous cryptic object with a slippery surface and remarkable width appeared sailing towards the island. He discovered later that it was an egg of an inquisitively talked about mythological bird called roc. (107 words)
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Old Wednesday, September 09, 2015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wandered View Post
Passage:

Precis :

A man set on a sea voyage with some merchants, from Baghdad. While cruising, the ship anchored, temporarily at an inhabited island. While passengers wandered and perambulated the beautiful island to pick up fruits and flowers that man ate and drank wine. Caressed by the tender ambiance, he slept in the shade of a tree. When he woke up, to his dismay, ship had departed. While inundated by the desolation, he mourned and lamented, an enormous cryptic object with a slippery surface and remarkable width appeared sailing towards the island. He discovered later that it was an egg of an inquisitively talked about mythological bird called roc. (107 words)
1. How do you it's a man?
2. Ship can't anchor while cruising.
3. Does the original passage mention about it's slippery surface?

You have got decent treasure of vocabulary but require some practice to employ it appropriately. The answer to above three observations will give you hints as what should have been avoided while making a precis. Give it another try. You can do better.


Good Luck!

Regards,
__________________
Verily, His command, when He intends a thing, is only that He says "Be!" - and it is! (Al-Quran)
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Old Wednesday, September 09, 2015
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Thank you for your generous remarks Redmax.
I have a following few questions :

1. How to tackle the passages that incorporates 1st person speech like when you summarize the passage should one be writing " I set on a sea voyage..... " ? Is there any rule ?

2. While summarizing a passage that has no chronological order, unlike this one, can one re-write the whole passage differently, neglecting its original narration order ? Because following the order often leaves the passage in cohesive ?

3. Where I can find standard passages for practice ?

Hahaha. Yes, ship can't anchor while cruising.

Jazak Allah.
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