Precis of the CE-2015 Paper
 

Aoa. I have tried to put up my first ever precis. The precis of CE-2015 paper. Seniors may kindly review. Thanks in anticipation.

In studding the breakdowns of civilizations, the writer has subscribed to the conclusion – no new discovery! – that war has proved to have been the proximate cause of the breakdown of every civilization which is known for certain to have broken down, in so far as it has been possible to analyze the nature of these breakdowns and to account for their occurrence. Like other evils war has no insidious way of appearing not intolerable until it has secured such a stranglehold upon the lives of its addicts that they no longer have the power to escape from its grip when its deadlines has become manifest. In the early stages of civilization’s growth, the cost of wars in suffering and destruction might seem to be exceeded by the benefits occurring from the wining of wealth and power and the cultivation of the “military virtues” ; and, in this phase of history, states have often found themselves able to indulge in war with one another with something like impunity even for the defeated party. War does not begin to reveal its malignity till the war making society has begun to increase its economic ability to exploit physical nature and its political ability to organize manpower; but, as soon as this happens, the god of war to which the growing society has long since been dedicated proves himself a Moloch by devouring an ever larger share of the increasing fruits of man’s industry and intelligence in the process of taking an ever larger toll of life and happiness; and, when the society’s growth in efficiency reaches a point at which it becomes capable of mobilizing a lethal quantum of its energies and resources for military use then war reveals itself as being a cancer which is bound to prove fatal to its victim unless he can cut it out and cast it from him, since its malignant tissues have now learnt to grow faster that the healthy tissues on which they feed.
In the past when this danger-point in the history of the relations between war and civilization has been reached and recognized, serious efforts have sometimes been made to get rid of war in time to save society, and these endeavors have been apt to take one or other of two alternative directions. Salvation cannot, of course, be sought anywhere except in the working of the consciences of individual human beings; but individuals have a choice between trying to achieve their aims through direct action as private citizens and trying to achieve then through indirect action as citizen of states. Personal refusal to lend himself in any way to any war waged by his state for any purpose and in any circumstances is a line of attack against the institution of war that is likely to appeal to an ardent and self-sacrificing nature; by comparison, the alternative peace strategy of seeking to persuade and accustom governments to combine in jointly resisting aggression when it comes and in trying to remove its stimuli beforehand may seem a circuitous and unheroic line of attack on the problem. Yet experience up to date indicates unmistakably, in the present writer’s opinion, that the second of these two hard roads is by far the more promising.
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Title: Breakdown of civilizations due to wars and its remedies
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Precis:
In writer’s opinion war has caused breakdown of many civilizations. In the early civilizations, wars have proved to be more of monetary and military value than the devastations occurred. The defeated were seldom crushed to extinction. It is when the aggressors advanced their military equipment and developed powerful disciplined armies, the full scale of destructions of wars became clear, capable of extinguishing entire civilizations.

In history, two approaches have been pursued by individuals to circumvent war and its menaces. Acting as a private citizen, one approach is to distance oneself from the war waging activities of the state. The other, rather peace making approach, is to strive to make the government join united front against aggression. According to the author, the second approach may seem lengthy and unappealing, yet the experience proves it more fruitful.

It is an encouraging attempt! :).
1-Do mention the word limit while posting Precis. The precis should be 1/3 of the original passage.Therefore,i feel that this one is under length.
2-Try to use transition words for better connectivity and coherence.
3-2nd paragraph is fine
4- i have tried to rewrite first paragraph. Feedback is welcome.

War has been the cause of break down of the human civilizations since prehistoric times.However,In the early civilizations,the monetary and military benefits of the wars outsmarted the devastations occurred and the defeated were seldom crushed to extinction.But, It is when the aggressors advanced their military equipment and developed powerful disciplined armies, the full scale of destructions of wars became clear, capable of extinguishing entire civilizations.

Perfect. Your paragraph is way perfect than mine. Thank you very much Anam. Certainly your version could earn me 4 to 5 more marks.

538 are the total words. My precis boasts meager 135 words:D. 1/3 turns out to be 179 words. If I include your version of first paragraph it increments to 140.

Don't know how to stretch it to add 40 missing words.

Are you sure we can use transition words or linkers in precis.

[QUOTE=lovereflector;881529]Are you sure we can use transition words or linkers in precis.[/QUOTE]
@Waseem! Thank you!. I also tried to stretch it but i guess it is still under length.I hope that we will be able to overcome this problem with more practise, in due course of time.

Historically Speaking, Whenever there was fear of potential outbreak of war,Serious efforts were made to avoid it to save the society.However, when it was realized that it can not be avoided, then,Two approaches were pursued by the individuals to circumvent it and its menaces.Firstly, Acting as a private citizen, this approach is to distance oneself from the war waging activities of the state. Secondly, by adopting a rather peace making approach and strive to make the government join united front against the aggression. However, According to the author, the second approach may seem lengthy and unappealing, yet the experience proves it more fruitful.

@Lovereflector! yes! I am sure about it.

Yes, that's a nice bit of addition to the second paragraph.

[QUOTE=wasxxm;881510]Aoa. I have tried to put up my first ever precis. The precis of CE-2015 paper. Seniors may kindly review. Thanks in anticipation.

In studding the breakdowns of civilizations, the writer has subscribed to the conclusion – no new discovery! – that war has proved to have been the proximate cause of the breakdown of every civilization which is known for certain to have broken down, in so far as it has been possible to analyze the nature of these breakdowns and to account for their occurrence. Like other evils war has no insidious way of appearing not intolerable until it has secured such a stranglehold upon the lives of its addicts that they no longer have the power to escape from its grip when its deadlines has become manifest. In the early stages of civilization’s growth, the cost of wars in suffering and destruction might seem to be exceeded by the benefits occurring from the wining of wealth and power and the cultivation of the “military virtues” ; and, in this phase of history, states have often found themselves able to indulge in war with one another with something like impunity even for the defeated party. War does not begin to reveal its malignity till the war making society has begun to increase its economic ability to exploit physical nature and its political ability to organize manpower; but, as soon as this happens, the god of war to which the growing society has long since been dedicated proves himself a Moloch by devouring an ever larger share of the increasing fruits of man’s industry and intelligence in the process of taking an ever larger toll of life and happiness; and, when the society’s growth in efficiency reaches a point at which it becomes capable of mobilizing a lethal quantum of its energies and resources for military use then war reveals itself as being a cancer which is bound to prove fatal to its victim unless he can cut it out and cast it from him, since its malignant tissues have now learnt to grow faster that the healthy tissues on which they feed.
In the past when this danger-point in the history of the relations between war and civilization has been reached and recognized, serious efforts have sometimes been made to get rid of war in time to save society, and these endeavors have been apt to take one or other of two alternative directions. Salvation cannot, of course, be sought anywhere except in the working of the consciences of individual human beings; but individuals have a choice between trying to achieve their aims through direct action as private citizens and trying to achieve then through indirect action as citizen of states. Personal refusal to lend himself in any way to any war waged by his state for any purpose and in any circumstances is a line of attack against the institution of war that is likely to appeal to an ardent and self-sacrificing nature; by comparison, the alternative peace strategy of seeking to persuade and accustom governments to combine in jointly resisting aggression when it comes and in trying to remove its stimuli beforehand may seem a circuitous and unheroic line of attack on the problem. Yet experience up to date indicates unmistakably, in the present writer’s opinion, that the second of these two hard roads is by far the more promising.
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Title: Breakdown of civilizations due to wars and its remedies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Precis:
In writer’s opinion war has caused breakdown of many civilizations. In the early civilizations, wars have proved to be more of monetary and military value than the devastations occurred. The defeated were seldom crushed to extinction. It is when the aggressors advanced their military equipment and developed powerful disciplined armies, the full scale of destructions of wars became clear, capable of extinguishing entire civilizations.

In history, two approaches have been pursued by individuals to circumvent war and its menaces. Acting as a private citizen, one approach is to distance oneself from the war waging activities of the state. The other, rather peace making approach, is to strive to make the government join united front against aggression. According to the author, the second approach may seem lengthy and unappealing, yet the experience proves it more fruitful.[/QUOTE]

Not at all a good precis. You didn't seem to get the gist of the passage and have left many important points. I would advise you to write it again. Few observations:

1. Title is lengthy + inappropriate

2. Write your precis in third person. Everyone knows you're presenting writer's opinion. Hence, there is no need to start it with "In writer's opinion"

3. The precis had to be of 179 words. You can take the liberty of lengthening or shortening it up to 4-6 words, but not beyond that. Since you did not mention many important points present in original passage, you have difficulty reaching the required word limit.

4. Poor attempt. Try again.

P.S:
Do not get discouraged by the harsh comments. As you have mentioned it is your first precis, i would advise you to practice shorter, easier passages first by some precis book. Once you attempt 20-30 easier passages, then start solving past papers. It will be easier for you and help you more.

Keep practising. Best of luck!

[COLOR="Magenta"][SIZE="3"][CENTER]War and the Breakdown of Civilizations[/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][SIZE="3"]War is the main cause for the breakdown of civilizations. Initially as civilizations grow the total costs of war exceed its monetary benefits, despite which nations indulge in it. This is because the addicts of war are gradually engulfed by its clutches to the limit where they become unable to escape from its occurrence. The real harm of war is revealed when a society increases its economic and political ability to exploit physical nature and manpower, respectively, which are then utilized to bring on destruction; and, as society maximizes its efficiency in utilizing its resources for military use, the dangerous growth of war proves fatal for its victims. At such point in history, there had been endeavours, through the consciences of humans, in two alternative ways to stop the perils of war. In one way, individuals, as private citizens, chose a dangerous way of openly refusing to participate in war the state waged; while in a more indirect way which experience shows to be more promising, individuals chose to resist aggressions by persuading the governments to remove the causes in advance to deny war.
[CENTER][COLOR="Black"]Original Passage: 540 words
Précis: 184 words[/COLOR][/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=Ambivalent;891929][COLOR="Magenta"][SIZE="3"][CENTER]War and the Breakdown of Civilizations[/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"][SIZE="3"]War is the main cause for the breakdown of civilizations. Initially as civilizations grow the total costs of war exceed its monetary benefits, despite which nations indulge in it. This is because the addicts of war are gradually engulfed by its clutches to the limit where they become unable to escape from its occurrence. The real harm of war is revealed when a society increases its economic and political ability to exploit physical nature and manpower, respectively, which are then utilized to bring on destruction; and, as society maximizes its efficiency in utilizing its resources for military use, the dangerous growth of war proves fatal for its victims. At such point in history, there had been endeavours, through the consciences of humans, in two alternative ways to stop the perils of war. In one way, individuals, as private citizens, chose a dangerous way of openly refusing to participate in war the state waged; while in a more indirect way which experience shows to be more promising, individuals chose to resist aggressions by persuading the governments to remove the causes in advance to deny war.
[CENTER][COLOR="Black"]Original Passage: 540 words
Précis: 184 words[/COLOR][/CENTER][/SIZE][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Simplify the language and use your own vocabulary. You have understood the passage well, but it looks just like the original one due to vocabulary.

[QUOTE=Eager;891988]Simplify the language and use your own vocabulary. You have understood the passage well, but it looks just like the original one due to vocabulary.[/QUOTE]

Thank you sir. There are so many key words in this passage which can be reproduced in the précis I guess. Though, there are few words that I have written from passage, I can replace them with synonyms.