Original Text:

Besant describing the middle class of the 9th century wrote " In the first place it was for more a class apart. "In no sense did it belong to society. Men in professions of any kind (except in the Army and Navy) could only belong to society by right of birth and family connections; men in trade—bankers were still accounted tradesmen—could not possibly belong to society. That is to say, if they went to live in the country they were not called upon by the county families and in the town they were not admitted by the men into their clubs, or by ladies into their houses… The middle class knew its own place, respected itself, made its own society for itself, and cheerfully accorded to rank the deference due."

Since then, however, the life of the middle classes had undergone great changes as their numbers had swelled and their influence had increased.

Their already well –developed consciousness of their own importance had deepened. More critical than they had been in the past of certain aspects of aristocratic life, they wee also more concerned with the plight of the poor and the importance of their own values of society, thrift, hand work, piety and respectability thrift, hand work, piety and respectability as examples of ideal behavior for the guidance of the lower orders. Above all they were respectable. There were divergences of opinion as to what exactly was respectable and what was not. There were, nevertheless, certain conventions, which were universally recognized: wild and drunker behaviors were certainly not respectable, nor were godlessness or avert promiscuity, not an ill-ordered home life, unconventional manners, self-indulgence or flamboyant clothes and personal adornments.


Precise Version:

Title: The disowned child of 9th Century

Besant describes 9th century as the century of class consciousness, as middle class wasn't owned by the society on the basis of weaker connections or by birth insignificance. Except armed forces, middle class professionals were neither respected nor were they welcomed by the society. This resulted in a new society--- the influential and self-respected society of the middle class. Their influence and power started to grow with time, as they valued moral etiquettes, and respected the poor. Moreover, they also opposed universal immoralities, atrocities, and ill behaviors.

Anyone?

In my opinion, what you did right is as follows


I liked the fact that you jumbled the army and navy into 'armed forces'. In my first draft I wrote both.

You have used different sentence structures as well.

The word limit of the precis is lower than 1/3 of the original passage

Just like the passage, your precise is neatly divided into two parts. The first being the elite's treatment of the middles class and the reasoning behind it. The second being about how the middle class dealt with it.


In my opinion, what you did wrong is as follows

Right off the bat, the examiner would be annoyed by your re-use of the first two words. Use some other word like contends or in besant's opinion bla bla. We are supposed to summarize the passage but also avoid copy pasting the same words.

You are taking too much liberty into meshing the ideas of the passage and making judgement on them. In a precis, we are only supposed to summarize not present our opinion. For example, the class conscious term is nicely used but it is irrelevant for precis use. The reason being that only the elite were class conscious not the middle and lower class. The middle and lower class were born out of the class consciousness of the elites.

Secondly...... this is getting too long. Just read my version of your draft.

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Title: The disowned child of 9th Century

The author, Besant, comments about the middle class in the 9th century by noting that they weren't owned by the society on the basis of social connections or by birth insignificance. Except armed forces, middle class professionals were neither respected nor were they welcomed by the society. However, their influence and power started to grow with time. This resulted in a new society-the influential and self-respected society of the middle class. This happened as they valued moral etiquettes, and respected the poor. Moreover, they also opposed universal immoralities, atrocities, and ill behaviors.

Word count
Passage: 282
At 1/3rd length:94
Precis:92

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Also, use some other words that are relevant to the passage instead of the words like birth insignificance, atrocities etc.

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Humein kya. Tumhein kya. Ap ko kya.