kindly check my paragraph...is it suitable
 

Kindly check my paragraph and give ur comments....
i am appearing in 2009,any suggestion would be welcome....
need help in English paragraph and essay writing.... ....


Children have no childhood in Pakistan

At the very outset it can be stated that it is the children of poor families who have no childhood in Pakistan. Childhood is a cherished period that is to be remembered for a whole life .In Pakistan due to grueling economic conditions childhood of poor children is ruined. On the other hand children who belong to affluent families don`t face such critical conditions as faced by poor children.
In Pakistan people are phenomenally unaware of their social responsibilities like education, health care and a good standard of living that they have to provide to their children. This unawareness gives birth to a trend of high population, and consequently, the ultimate sufferer is child who is deprived of basic rights. In Pakistan children are not provided particular education. Most of the children are never enrolled in a school. Those who are admitted in schools are mostly taken out before completion of primary standard. In rural areas children are made to graze cattle in the field and sometimes they join their father in cultivation of their field. In the case of urban areas children join various technical fields as apprentice. They work in hotels, factories and auto-mechanic shops at paltry wages. Thus their most cherished period is ruined and when they grow younger they only remember their childhood in their sad memories.
In conclusion we can say that children have no particular facilities and are not provided with any opportunity either by parents or government. Children are an important source for the future growth of a country if they are utilized in a right direction, otherwise they might prove to be an impediment.

my dear u wrote a good paragraph. i think u must concentrate on organization of the paragraph (or essay , whatever u are writing..) and try adopt holistic approach, ie whenever u discuss a social issue, discuss it from all angles of society ie through every insititution of society (ie family, economy, politics, religion, education etc..)
Please buy the following books:
1. Popular Paragraphs and Essays by Prof. Iftikhar Ahmad,
2. English Essays by Rashid Ahmad (u ll find it from old book shops..)
these books ll help u alot


regards
dua may yaad rakhna...

Dear it was good effort but....?
 

Dear ur it was good effort. but dear u did throw light on other socio-political issues. And u should portary the concept of child. However, ur paragraph was nt rich with healthy thought. Brother, u shud consider on suggestion given by mr. Goof.
regards
Faisal Ahmed

excellent dear, keep it up.It is really one of the fine works.

good dear
 

dear i really appreciated ur endearvor to portary a thought. But this paragraph is lacking of rich n healthy thoughts.

if you had mentioned a personality in your paragraph.It would 've been reckoned more than your expectations. but it was a Good attempt brother,keep it up.

Brothers plz chack my paragraph.......
 

Kindly give ur comments and suggestions....
by the way thanks for checking my previous paragraph.....
i would be thankful if ur cooperation remains contiuous......

[B]Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shade:[/B]

Optimism in one`s thinking and approach leads him to success and keeps him away from gloom and disparity .All the successes in the life of an individual are directly related or connected to the optimism in the achievement of his goal.
In the history we have a better example of optimistic approach of Muslims of Indo-Pakistan subcontinent. During the eighteenth century the Muslims of Indian subcontinent were greatly disturbed by the British invasion. Their subjugated condition greatly perturbed their superiority in rank and eminence in society .There was a situation of gloom and chaos around them, and no way seemed possible to get out of British control. They started their struggle against British rule and in spite of facing many difficulties and setbacks they continued their struggle with optimistic approach and a hope of success. Finally they succeeded in the shape of separate homeland with the name of Pakistan .It can be stated as a historical success in optimistic approach. Similarly during the 5th century, Arab nation was totally ignorant and uncivilized .It seemed simply impossible at that time to teach them and show them a right way. But it was the optimistic approach of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) that not only taught them to live in a civilized manner but also blessed them with the religion of Islam. At that time it looked simply impossible to spread Islam but again it was the optimistic approach of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) that spread Islam to all continents round the globe and he never looked at anything with gloom and disparity .Thus it can be said that it is the great achievement of the optimistic approach that today we find Muslims in every corner of the world.
In conclusion we can say that with the optimistic approach great achievements can be made possible and one would not see gloominess and disparity as bitter ends of goals and aims.


Baig ..

God helps those who help others...........

Yar I read your paragraph .But this time you have given only two examples. Try to expand your ideas, such as

One should always be hopeful in his initiating of any good work, reform,
Etc. Once you start half the work is done. Optimists are pragmatic and rationale in their approach while pessimists are irrational.
Incorporate your paragraph with more examples such as the success of colonialists against imperialists, Winning of Afghans over Russians in 1980’s. The inventions and discoveries made by renowned scientists for the betterment of people’s lives.
And also compare optimism with pessimism .Pessimists are always hopeless and they always look at the gloomy consequences of their work and therefore always remain desperate.

is it possible in 250-300 words.
 

thankx for response ...........
but do u think it is possible to include multiple examples in just 250-300 words(Paragraph)...............
my idea to write a paragraph is ...

-Intro(to throw some light on topic)
-2 examples(support example favor\against).
-conclusion(extract of the topic).

if u have any other idea\format....most welcome

actual problem is that i have to appear in 2009,do u think my English is suitable.....

Baig.

God helps those who help others ......

kidly have a look at this paragraph
 

[B]Beggars are no choosers:[/B]

It is fact that those who seek favor should not dictate giver that what do they like. They must accept whatever is given to them and be happy. As they have buried their inner conscience and killed their courage to do their work by themselves and achieve their objectives. It can be an individual, an institution or a country which has to accept whatever offered that may be against its will, rules or wishes.
A person engulfed in financial problems when lends some money from a bank or a moneylender has no option left with him and accepts all the conditions of lender. These conditions may bring hardship to him and make his life worse. Similarly if any institution that becomes weak and looks outward for help; take the example of a factory that lost control over its internal security due to strike and calls on police for rescue. Then the factory administration becomes weak and has no option left with them. Police may use force against workers which may go from baton-charge to tear gas and firing bullets if situation goes out of control. The possible damage caused is borne by factory administration and they have no say left with them in this matter. And when a country becomes weak itself to deal with her problems and asks the other countries to help then it loses over certain of its freedom. Pakistan is the case in point, most of the time she looked towards IMF for her financial support and she has lost her economic independence. Similarly independent foreign policy has been hijacked by US in favor of strategic and military support.
So in conclusion it can be said that those unable to meet their requirements by themselves and have no strength to go beyond their reach to achieve their aims should accept wholeheartedly whatever offered to them.



[B]Every system of government emerges from its economic system:[/B]

Economic system is the backbone of a country and a country is run by its respective government, and a government is composed of various systems. So it can be said that if the economy is strong the country will also be strong, and so will be the systems .If the economic system is weak then the particular country will also be having weak systems.
There are many examples present in the world. The United States of America is the global super power; she has largest army of the world, latest infrastructure, strong government, and strong institutions in every sphere of government all this is due to her strong economic position. Her economic system has provided to her every opportunity to make each and every system of the government strong. So it is clear that ,it is her economic system that has made her so strong .On the contrary, we have examples of third world countries which are backward in every aspect as compared to US or other developed countries .the weak government, the weak infrastructure and weak institutions are some of examples which are due to weak economic system. Pakistan being a third world country is engulfed in such a condition. Even the weak economic system of Pakistan has deprived her of an independent foreign policy, which is the inherent right of a country.
So in conclusion it can be said that economic system has a direct relation to the emergence of a system of government.