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  #1  
Old Friday, March 20, 2009
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Default Money Makes the Mare to go

All activities, whole labors of Homo sapiens gyrate around a single thing, a single word…… ‘Money’.
Famous or infamous to be the greatest comforter in the world, the story of money making the mare to go commences from the very childhood of a person’s life. From the early days of its life it comes home to the heart of a child that his mare of chocolates and candies can go only with the help of money. He devises the ways to get the money by hook or by crook; by crying or by imploring. His endless aspirations urge him to acquire as much capital as he could. As he becomes older his needs become greater eventually demanding more and more money and thus engrossing all his efforts around a single point of increasing his monetary stocks.
From cradle to grave man’s hankering for wealth never ends. He knows it well that the mare of his dreams will go only if he has the gear of coins in his hand.

Money is, no doubt, a miracle. It endows us with happiness, wipes our tears, soothes our wounds, makes our life mirthful and rosy, gives us laughter and joy and changes our dreams to reality. Though not for all of our problems, it is a panacea for most of them.

In the eyes of the world a rich man is wise man. He gathers most friends. His prosperity makes him smart enough to collect as much friends as he likes. Wealth, even in the most improbable cases, manages to convey the aspect of intelligence. The golden key of money opens up even the trickiest locks of troubles thus rightfully giving its owner the prestige of being intelligent.
Survival of the fittest is the law of nature. Those who struggle survive; those who shun effort become extinct. God says in His Holy book, ‘Man gets what he strives for’.

It is a part of the nature of humanity to struggle for better food, better clothes and better lodging and surely money making is one of its basic needs.
The art of getting rich consists not in industry, much less in saving but in a better order, in timeliness, in being at the right spot. Though money is a terrible master and an excellent servant yet we ought not allow it to overwhelm all our abilities and master whole of our life. It was rightfully said by some one that he does not posses wealth that allows it to posses him. Rightfully, if we command our wealth we shall be rich and free, if our wealth commands us we are poor indeed.

With out money we can’t even think of living a life of comfort and ease, so, yearning for wealth is a positive activity in itself but wealth shouldn’t be the ultimate end of all of our struggles. Money is like a serpent. If we know the trick to charm this creature it would be valuable for us but if we don’t know the mantra it would definitely bite us. Money has the seductive sting of engulfing all of our attention and abilities and at the end man becomes the epitome of the picture presented in the holy scriptures in the words of: ‘Although they posses more and more than enough yet they yearn for more’. This incessant urge for getting more is the real adversary of man’s spirituality.

Admittedly, money is a source of solving all riddles in our lives but we should always keep in mind that worldly riches are like nuts; many a tooth is broke in cracking them but never is the stomach filled with eating them.
The greatest wealth is contentment with little. While trying for better we should remain contended with whatever God has given us. With the following words of Andrew Young I would like to end my harangue:-

Can wealth give happiness?
Look around and see,
What gay distress! what splendid misery!
Whatever fortunes lavishly can pour,
The mind annihilates and calls for more.
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  #2  
Old Sunday, March 22, 2009
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Default

@ dear preshan Gul:- this is quite an absorbing piece of writing. makes for a good reading. it is replete with quotes and and intrestings analogies, and smoothly concluded with forceful piece of poetry. i think this should earn you good grades.
there are few 'unsuitable' words ,which i would like to bring it to your notice, that you have written in the last paragraph :
Quote:
of Andrew Young I would like to end my harangue:-
Brother!! harangue?! i quite frankly think this was quite dispassionate piece of writing. wherein, benefits and harms of money are highlighted; a postive way forward is proposed in last beautiful poem. this does not seem to be a harangue. secondly, in my view, you should not write in essay: '' i would like..'' the refrence should be totally a neutral one...i think, words like''i would like'' are highly becoming for a writer of international repute.... those acclaimed, authenicated... i may be wrong..
secondly, prefer british english over american english. labor should be labour. and such like ..
this is my view.
regards
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  #3  
Old Monday, March 23, 2009
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Default Thanks Brother!

Thank you very much for pointing out my mistakes. As you might have noticed from my style I am a neophyte in the field of writing English and have mentioned this at the end of my other posts. About the use of word 'harangue', to tell you the truth, I first wrote ‘essay’ then replaced it with 'article' then, after feeling that my effort doesn't contain any qualities of an essay or an article, I put this word. By using this I didn't intend to show any tinge of passion or dispassion associated with this piece of writing, I meant only my sense of triviality for I do believe people would find it a dreary piece of writing. Anyhow your point is more valid and I should have used some other more appropriate word. About your second point I admit that we should avoid using first person but you will agree with me that there are no hard and fast rules restricting use of first person in amateur writings. To give subjective color to our writings we can use first person though cautiously. Nevertheless, thanks for reminding me such an important rule of writing.
I'm at the very basic stage of learning English and trying my best to use the right word at the right place in my writings and your objections would definitely help me in this direction. Please have a critical look at my three other posts. You would find grammatical errors, loosely-jointed sentences and wrongly-used phrases. I would be extremely obliged for your pinpointing of my errors in these posts also.

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  #4  
Old Thursday, March 26, 2009
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Default Here it goes:

Quote:
From the early days of its life it comes home to the heart of a child that his mare of chocolates and candies can go only with the help of money.
1. From the early days of his life, it comes home to the heart of a child that his mare of chocolates and candies can go only with the help of money.

Always insert comma after an introductory phrase or an adverbial clause preceding the main clause.

Quote:
As he becomes older his needs become greater eventually demanding more and more money and thus engrossing all his efforts around a single point of increasing his monetary stocks.
2. As he becomes older, his needs become greater eventually demanding more and more money; thus, engrossing all his efforts around a single point of increasing his monetary stocks.

For comma, reason stated in 1.

Insert semicolon before transitional connectives (conjuctive adverbs: however, thus, therefore, furthermore and blah blah) separating two independent clauses.

Quote:
From cradle to grave man’s hankering for wealth never ends.
3. From cradle to grave, man’s hankering for wealth never ends.

Reason stated in 1.

Quote:
Money is, no doubt, a miracle. It endows us with happiness, wipes our tears, soothes our wounds, makes our life mirthful and rosy, gives us laughter and joy and changes our dreams to reality.
4. Money is, no doubt, a miracle. It endows us with happiness, wipes our tears, soothes our wounds, makes our life mirthful and rosy, gives us laughter and joy, and changes our dreams to reality.

With two "ands", the reader may get confused, so you need the comma after the last item in the series before the conjunction - joy.

Quote:
In the eyes of the world a rich man is wise man.
5. In the eyes of the world, a rich man is wise man.

Reason stated in 1.

Quote:
The golden key of money opens up even the trickiest locks of troubles thus rightfully giving its owner the prestige of being intelligent.
6. The golden key of money opens up even the trickiest locks of troubles; thus, rightfully giving its owner the prestige of being intelligent.

Reason stated in 2.

Quote:
Money has the seductive sting of engulfing all of our attention and abilities and at the end man becomes the epitome of the picture presented in the holy scriptures in the words of: ‘Although they posses more and more than enough yet they yearn for more’.
7. Money has the seductive sting of engulfing all of our attention and abilities, and, at the end, man becomes the epitome of the picture presented in the holy scriptures in the words of: ‘Although they posses more and more than enough yet they yearn for more’.

As per my knowledge, 'at the end' is an introductory phrase in the sentence so comma should be inserted - one before it and the other after it.

Due to paucity of time and knowledge, I only found these errors. I'll post-mortem the other one later.
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Last edited by Shooting Star; Wednesday, May 09, 2012 at 12:00 AM.
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  #5  
Old Friday, April 03, 2009
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Default Thx Sis.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess Royal
Due to paucity of time and knowledge, I only found these errors. I'll post-mortem the other one later.
Thanks for taking time and pointing out my mistakes. Though I do agree with you in some of your corrections and disagree with some others but I will not dare to argue with you for you are like a teacher to me and in our culture we are not allowed to argue with some one who has taught us even a single word. Again a bundle of thx for commenting on my effort. I will wait for your corrections on my other posts also.
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  #6  
Old Friday, April 10, 2009
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Default

I am sorry for this late reply. Actually, I saw it today. Anyhow, I told you that I myself is a novice so feel free to correct me. At times, arguements help in learning. Btw, thanks for the respect.

Also accept my apology for not being able to assist you further. I am busy these days.

Regards,
P.R.
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