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amubin Thursday, July 15, 2010 06:35 PM

An Incident in storm
 
1 Attachment(s)
Title-[COLOR="DarkRed"][CENTER]AN INCIDENT IN STORM[/CENTER][/COLOR]


One day storm hit the city. The police officer was warning everyone present about the stormy situation. The children were playing in the farm before storm hit the city. But after stormy situation children instead of stop playing enjoying in the storm. Suddenly, due to stormy condition horse entered into the farm; with a corn in his mouth. The farmer was with a folk in his hand started to run behind him move him outside the farm and the kids might get not hurt. Surprisingly, an ambulance was crossing farm to meet an emergency situation. When doctor saw this terrible situation he also joined farmer so that he could help if kids got hurt. But with a grace of God no one got hurt. And the children happily went towards their home.


Can anyone please check,comment and rewrite if (there are mistakes)in a better way

New Student Thursday, July 15, 2010 07:05 PM

@Amubin

Some hints:

1. The first thing that you MUST remember. Do not try to portray things in background as a major theme of the story. For example you have made "Storm" as the main theme which is shown in background. Focus on the main picture. Although, you can just discuss it in a sentence.

2. You have made a positive result of all the situation, it is a good point.

3. Avoid using words such as " When doctor saw this {terrible} situation ......". The word terrible should not be used.

Regards

amubin Thursday, July 15, 2010 07:53 PM

@New student

Thanks alot for the comment.I was waiting for anyone's reply.

Bro,I need to ask few things from you.

As its mentioned to use work bank while writing the story.Whereas,I have not used few words such as HORN,unicorn.Can you please tell me where should I use these words.
Tell me what is role of the doctor in this situation?

Moreover,suggest me any other title please.

New Student Friday, July 16, 2010 08:51 AM

@Amubin

There are various words given in the picture. It is just to give you an idea, so that you can explain it. However, it is not necessary that you should explain each and everything in the pic. You just have to explain the main picture.

Each one will give his/her own story of the pic, as no unique story is required. It is just to assess your psychology that how you percieve things. For example I would have made a story.

This is a picture of a village in Pakistan. Although it is rich in resources, but due to its difficult terrain, agricultural activities were difficult. Government after surveying the village decided to improve its agricultural activities. For this purpose government decided to get technical assistance from World Bank development program. With the technical help from World Bank and local people, necessary roads were built. Land was made arable. Since, this land was barani, a dam was also built to get a reserve of rain water. Now, as we can see that this village is now more happy, because people have more land, producing more corn and wheat. Besides, a dispensery is also built to take care of the population health.

Title "God help those who help themselves".

Another hint; grammer ki ziada fikar na karna yahan par aap ki grammer ziada nahi deki jati. Only positive and analytical thinking matters.


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