#1
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Plz critically evaluate this expansion
A WISE MAN IS A MAN WHO KNOWS HE IS A FOOL
Most of the people in our world know less; yet they feel themselves over-brimming with the treasures of intelligence and therefore proclaim to be wise. Whilst some are those who know much; but by virtue of their humility they feel to know nothing and confidently confess to have follies in their brains. Actually, the former ones are fools; the latter ones wise. The fools rely solely on their self-proclamation of prudence and decline to assess their abilities. Their wisdom; whatever part they have of it, demands them not to show any signs of ignorance, lest they will be accused of folly. Consequently, they are likely to keep their decadent state through out their lives. On the contrary, wise men always have humbleness by their side to protect them from the clutches of arrogance which tends to emanate from excessive knowledge. Newton, the great physicist who was even applauded by Pope in such heavenly words "Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night God said, 'Let Newton be', and all was light" never declared himself any wiser than a lay man. But in our daily life we meet numerous men, boasting themselves to be the best in intellect; and most of the times, without any evaluation of their talents. It is true, however, that humans cannot be called completely wise or fool in their persons. But fools blur whatever wisdom they have been given by their foolishness. Whereas the wise, triumphantly hide whatever dupery they have in their character by means of their wisdom. (252 words) |
#2
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Oh please...I'll be grateful..actually this is my first expansion and i want to take expert opinion whether i have followed the rules and have expanded it correctly or not. I think, in this expansion i shouldn't have quoted Pope or shouldn't have quoted in the way i have..what do you say?
thanks in advance
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Whatever is important will remain; whatever is useless will disappear. |
#3
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Quote:
or " only a fool knows everything , a wise man knows how little he knows." anonymous. so from where did you get the above mentioned quote. your expansion is not upto the mark. I explain you how to make an expansion then you 'll feel the difference.
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Shabdon mein kya tareef karoon aap ki MUSSAA Aap shabdon mein kahan bandh payenge. Kabhi mere aankhon mein jhaank kar dekho, Hazaron alfaz khud-b-khud bikhar jayenge. Last edited by Andrew Dufresne; Sunday, December 12, 2010 at 04:24 AM. Reason: Merged |
The Following User Says Thank You to mussaa For This Useful Post: | ||
Eager (Monday, December 06, 2010) |
#4
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Quote:
Quote:
plz also correct me and guide me if you've noticed any flaw in sentence structure, vocabulary or any other grammatical aspect. Is my language according to the required standards?
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Whatever is important will remain; whatever is useless will disappear. Last edited by Silent.Volcano; Monday, December 06, 2010 at 11:05 PM. |
#5
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Quote:
It is excellent to have a giant strength but it is tyrannical to use it like a gaint. pehle se expand kro. kal tak kr lena. ap bhi na bhool jana meri trha
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Shabdon mein kya tareef karoon aap ki MUSSAA Aap shabdon mein kahan bandh payenge. Kabhi mere aankhon mein jhaank kar dekho, Hazaron alfaz khud-b-khud bikhar jayenge. Last edited by Silent.Volcano; Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 10:06 PM. |
#6
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It is excellent to have a giant strength but it is tyrannical to use it like a gaint.
Who does not love strength? Who does not desire power? Since its inception man has always been in search of ways to gain power; to control his own kind; to rule the land; to conquer the skies. And many a times he succeeded in his efforts. Some gained power of body, some of mind. When man reigned the realm of knowledge and brought forth favors for humans, he earned not only power and pelf but dignity and respect. When he commanded war fields to earn freedom for his lot, he was esteemed as a god. It is the same strength that made Samson a hero, it is the same power that made Martin Luther King, a symbol of freedom and liberty. But all the heroes of this world were made heroes only when they used their might and valor for the good of their people. Whenever man used his colossal powers cruelly, he was regarded as a tyrant. History does not remember his Herculean power, it simply condemns it. Who talks in favor of Hitler? Ask any Japanese the benefits of having nuclear power. The answers stare us in the face! There is no need to go back even. We have ample examples in present where the oppressors receive stones and shoes from public as signs of disapproval. Although, Providence gives men giant-like powers as opportunity of becoming legends, but many prefer being a tyrant and use this privilege like a giant.
__________________
Whatever is important will remain; whatever is useless will disappear. |
#7
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its surgery time
mistakes:
1) heap of vocabulary 2) Unable to grab and explain the meaning and basic theme of quotation 3) It seems that it is an essay written about strength 4) Then it seems like it is an essay about how people achieved greatness 5) ideas are not in a rhythm 6) repetition of points 7) No need of phrases 8) examples quoted are not relevant you should adopt the following pattern : 1) Meaning ( just simplify the quotation and give its meaning in simple words) 2) Explanation ( explain the quotation ) 3) Give relevant examples 4) conclusion write again.
__________________
Shabdon mein kya tareef karoon aap ki MUSSAA Aap shabdon mein kahan bandh payenge. Kabhi mere aankhon mein jhaank kar dekho, Hazaron alfaz khud-b-khud bikhar jayenge. |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mussaa For This Useful Post: | ||
Abar e Rehmat (Friday, February 25, 2011), Eager (Sunday, December 12, 2010) |
#8
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Quote:
__________________
Whatever is important will remain; whatever is useless will disappear. |
#9
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Quote:
__________________
Shabdon mein kya tareef karoon aap ki MUSSAA Aap shabdon mein kahan bandh payenge. Kabhi mere aankhon mein jhaank kar dekho, Hazaron alfaz khud-b-khud bikhar jayenge. |
The Following User Says Thank You to mussaa For This Useful Post: | ||
Eager (Sunday, December 12, 2010) |
#10
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Mussa bhai
plz give sample of ur expansion here for guidance
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Main ne Allah ko Apny irado ke tootany se pehchana":Hazrat Ali (RA)" |
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