Plz critically evaluate this expansion
 

[B]A WISE MAN IS A MAN WHO KNOWS HE IS A FOOL[/B]

Most of the people in our world know less; yet they feel themselves over-brimming with the treasures of intelligence and therefore proclaim to be wise. Whilst some are those who know much; but by virtue of their humility they feel to know nothing and confidently confess to have follies in their brains. Actually, the former ones are fools; the latter ones wise.

The fools rely solely on their self-proclamation of prudence and decline to assess their abilities. Their wisdom; whatever part they have of it, demands them not to show any signs of ignorance, lest they will be accused of folly. Consequently, they are likely to keep their decadent state through out their lives. On the contrary, wise men always have humbleness by their side to protect them from the clutches of arrogance which tends to emanate from excessive knowledge. Newton, the great physicist who was even applauded by Pope in such heavenly words

"Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night
God said, 'Let Newton be', and all was light"

never declared himself any wiser than a lay man. But in our daily life we meet numerous men, boasting themselves to be the best in intellect; and most of the times, without any evaluation of their talents.

It is true, however, that humans cannot be called completely wise or fool in their persons. But fools blur whatever wisdom they have been given by their foolishness. Whereas the wise, triumphantly hide whatever dupery they
have in their character by means of their wisdom.

(252 words)

Oh please...I'll be grateful..actually this is my first expansion and i want to take expert opinion whether i have followed the rules and have expanded it correctly or not. I think, in this expansion i shouldn't have quoted Pope or shouldn't have quoted in the way i have..what do you say?
thanks in advance

[QUOTE=Eager;243697]Oh please...I'll be grateful..actually this is my first expansion and i want to take expert opinion whether i have followed the rules and have expanded it correctly or not.
thanks in advance[/QUOTE]

actually what Shakespeare says " [B][I]a fool doth think he is wise but the wise man knows himself to be a fool[/I][/B] "

or[I][B]
" only a fool knows everything , a wise man knows how little he knows.[/B][/I]" anonymous.

so from where did you get the above mentioned quote.

your expansion is not upto the mark. I explain you how to make an expansion then you 'll feel the difference.

[QUOTE=mussaa;243701]actually what Shakespeare says " [B][I]a fool doth think he is wise but the wise man knows himself to be a fool[/I][/B] "

or[I][B]
" only a fool knows everything , a wise man knows how little he knows.[/B][/I]" anonymous.

so from where did you get the above mentioned quote.[/QUOTE]

There was an essay in some book with this title, so I thought of expanding it, didn't know then that it was Shakespeare's.

[QUOTE=mussaa;243709]your expansion is not upto the mark. I explain you how to make an expansion then you 'll feel the difference.[/QUOTE]

thanks but plz asap:)

plz also correct me and guide me if you've noticed any flaw in sentence structure, vocabulary or any other grammatical aspect. Is my language according to the required standards?

[QUOTE=Eager;245040]@ mussaa


when this day will come??? remind kara rahi hoon, aap bhool jatay hain na is liye:dd[/QUOTE]
ok. eager pehle ap ye kr k dekhao mujhe. phr main apko bataon ga k kaise krte hain.aur khud se sochna hai quotation ka mtlb puchna nahi hai kisi se.
[COLOR=Sienna][I][B]It is excellent to have a giant strength but it is tyrannical to use it like a gaint. [/B][/I][/COLOR]
pehle se expand kro.

kal tak kr lena. ap bhi na bhool jana meri trha:)

[B]It is excellent to have a giant strength but it is tyrannical to use it like a gaint. [/B]

Who does not love strength? Who does not desire power? Since its inception man has always been in search of ways to gain power; to control his own kind; to rule the land; to conquer the skies. And many a times he succeeded in his efforts. Some gained power of body, some of mind.

When man reigned the realm of knowledge and brought forth favors for humans, he earned not only power and pelf but dignity and respect. When he commanded war fields to earn freedom for his lot, he was esteemed as a god. It is the same strength that made Samson a hero, it is the same power that made Martin Luther King, a symbol of freedom and liberty. But all the heroes of this world were made heroes only when they used their might and valor for the good of their people. Whenever man used his colossal powers cruelly, he was regarded as a tyrant. History does not remember his Herculean power, it simply condemns it. Who talks in favor of Hitler? Ask any Japanese the benefits of having nuclear power. The answers stare us in the face! There is no need to go back even. We have ample examples in present where the oppressors receive stones and shoes from public as signs of disapproval.

Although, Providence gives men giant-like powers as opportunity of becoming legends, but many prefer being a tyrant and use this privilege like a giant.

its surgery time
 

mistakes:
1) heap of vocabulary
2) Unable to grab and explain the meaning and basic theme of quotation
3) It seems that it is an essay written about strength
4) Then it seems like it is an essay about how people achieved greatness
5) ideas are not in a rhythm
6) repetition of points
7) No need of phrases
8) examples quoted are not relevant
[U][B]
you should adopt the following pattern :[/B][/U]
1) Meaning ( just simplify the quotation and give its meaning in simple words)
2) Explanation ( explain the quotation )
3) Give relevant examples
4) conclusion

write again.

[QUOTE=mussaa;245574]mistakes:
1) heap of vocabulary
2) Unable to grab and explain the meaning and basic theme of quotation
3) It seems that it is an essay written about strength
4) Then it seems like it is an essay about how people achieved greatness
5) ideas are not in a rhythm
6) repetition of points
7) No need of phrases
8) examples quoted are not relevant
[/QUOTE]

Itni saari mistakes:ohmy::ohmy:...mjhay to laga tha main ne bohat achhi expansion likhi hai:sad: okay main dobara likhti hoon lekin ye vocabulary ka kya problem hai mjhay samjh nahi aya. vocab suitable nahi hai ya kya. heap of vocab matlab zada kese hai?? unfamiliar words hain?? or ghalat vocab use ki hai???

[QUOTE=Eager;245652]Itni saari mistakes:ohmy::ohmy:...mjhay to laga tha main ne bohat achhi expansion likhi hai:sad: okay main dobara likhti hoon lekin ye vocabulary ka kya problem hai mjhay samjh nahi aya. vocab suitable nahi hai ya kya. heap of vocab matlab zada kese hai?? unfamiliar words hain?? or ghalat vocab use ki hai???[/QUOTE]
over use hai .acha likho per itna over use na kro vocabulary ka .And ther are wrong use of vocabulary too as pelf is mostly used in negative sense. The more you make it complex the more will be the chances of error.

Mussa bhai
 

[QUOTE=Shahid Shakoor;245678]sir ji agr ap ye expansion likhty to kasy likhtay?????

please paste your expansion here so that we can take benefits from it...:)

thanking you in anticipation[/QUOTE]

plz give sample of ur expansion here for guidance :waiting:waiting:waiting