Hope is the way of life.

[zareenkhan]

Please evaluate this expansion.

HOPE IS THE WAY OF LIFE.

Hope is one of the most delicious ingredients of life. It defines the ways on which life is led. It is only hope that encourages people to acheive their desired aims. For defeated, it is the only power that enables them to stand once again in the face of tyranny. For destitutes, it is the only thing they possess. Hope, therefore, constitutes the way of life.

One of the most characteristic attributes of hope is encouragement. It prompts people into translating their dreams into reality. Hope provides them energy to walk along the thorny tracks of life. It means that where there is hope, there is a struggle. For instance, there was a hope among the people of India to live freely. They desired a homeland without foreign domination. In order to acheive independence from British, everyone struggled in the way of freedom. Thus, it can be said that hope compells people to struggle for their lives.

Not only this, hope is one of the finest panacea for the wounds inflicted upon people by time. When people are defeated, it is only hope that makes them fight once again. History bears unmistakable testimony to it. Japanese, say, were defeated in World War II. However, they did not lose their hope. Today, Japan is one of the major contributors to global economy. In such a way, hope plays a decisive role in the lives of people.

Therefore, importance of hope in life stands unquestionable. Hope determines the horizons of the progress and prosperity. Hope helps people overcome their fears and makes them inscribers of their own destiny. Hope lets people live their lives. Verily, hope is the way of life.

[farhan1111]

It seems well-organized.

In my opinion, which may be wrong, word delicious is used for something which we can taste. "vital" or "essential" are more suitable words as compared to delicious.
secondly, panacea-a remedy for all diseases, is a single word. you wrote " one of the finest panacea" so it dreates vague impression
on the whole your thoughts are valid and pose good impression.

[zareenkhan]

Thanks farhan. Delicious is surely applied to something that is tasted. And taste is something that comes with tongue only. However, i used it figuratively, i'm not sure about its usage. Secondly, I thought that Panacea means medicine. Not medicine for all diseases. If so, i concede my mistake. Thanks once again for rectification of my mistakes.

[Natiq]

Zareen, I would like to suggest you to try making your sentences a bit longer. It increases interest of the reader and looks more literary. Many of your sentences are too simplistic, this diminishes the persuasive effect. I hope you don't mind what I said.

You write very well overall.

[zareenkhan]

Thanks once again Natiq. And please don't hurt me by asking me not to mind. Your criticism will always be acknowledged with respect. Therefore, i'm really grateful to you. Let's talk business now. I've heard that short sentences are preferred by checkers. Apart from their perception, it is said that shorter sentences reduce the possibility of errors in sentences. What do you say in this regard? Thanks once again.

[Waqar Abro]

Originally Posted by zareenkhan

Thanks once again Natiq. And please don't hurt me by asking me not to mind. Your criticism will always be acknowledged with respect. Therefore, i'm really grateful to you. Let's talk business now. I've heard that short sentences are preferred by checkers. Apart from their perception, it is said that shorter sentences reduce the possibility of errors in sentences. What do you say in this regard? Thanks once again.

Yes,short sentences do not contain errors.

As far expansion is concerned,your first two passages are really nice.

Good attempt.

Best of luck

[BaLooch Salman]

very hopeful expansion
a great hope can be revealed from your writing
hope u wil get good score in it
hopefully this xpansion wil bring u your desired group
hope for the best
hoping to see your expansions again

[zareenkhan]

I think i've reached in the Cape of Good Hope.
Thank you all.

[BaLooch Salman]

Originally Posted by zareenkhan

I think i've reached in the Cape of Good Hope.
Thank you all.

wel jokes apart instead of posting ur expansions here better get them checked by sum gud teacher otherwise u wil keep on shuttling around cape of good hope by such flowery comments n ultimately u wil b lost in bermuda

[Natiq]

Originally Posted by zareenkhan

Thanks once again Natiq. And please don't hurt me by asking me not to mind. Your criticism will always be acknowledged with respect. Therefore, i'm really grateful to you. Let's talk business now. I've heard that short sentences are preferred by checkers. Apart from their perception, it is said that shorter sentences reduce the possibility of errors in sentences. What do you say in this regard? Thanks once again.

I cannot believe this to be true. These kind of things are usually taught in the "academies". By longer, I didn't mean VERY long sentences, just reasonably moderate. Sometimes you can easily conjoin two or three sentences by using conjunctions and punctuation. One can communicate the same thought through both shorter or longer sentences, but the latter will give a better literary and rhetorical effect. It makes you look like a well-read person who can effectively debate on the complexity of issues. As far as errors are concerned, I agree but it just needs a bit of practice to be proficient, (which off-course you are doing). Besides, in the examination when you are so short of time and having so many thoughts flooding your mind, you would like to write as much as possible in the given time; and for this one longer sentence instead of three short ones will save your time too. A break in sentence is also a break in thought, which means more hampering in your flow.

Take this:
Japanese, say, were defeated in World War II. However, they did not lose their hope. Today, Japan is one of the major contributors to global economy.

If I want to conjoin, I can rewrite as:
The Japanese were heavily defeated in World War II, but despite the total devastation of their country they did not lose hope; and today, Japan is one of the major contributors to the global economy.

Also notice that I have added some superlatives for rhetorical effect, because here adding stress is not only justified but draws a more accurate picture of how Japan actually looked like at that time.