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-   -   Life succeeds in that it seems to fail (http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compulsory-subjects/english-precis-composition/expansion-paragraph/65128-life-succeeds-seems-fail.html)

agnes Saturday, June 30, 2012 03:42 PM

Life succeeds in that it seems to fail
 
The point depicted in the expression reveals that a person gets success in his life when he feels that no door has remained open for him in the world now and there is no use of hard work. He forgets that success is always a hard nut to crack. All great people in the world became successful only because of hard work. I can be better described with this statement, “hard work is a key to success”. Not every person is lucky enough to taste success immediately. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. At this point they lose all their hopes and become doubtful about their competence and skills. If they keep firm faith on their hard work and leave no stone unturned to get success then surely one day they will come out with flying colours on the face of world.
History provides us with various examples of people who earned a name for themselves due to sheer hard work. The most renowned personality in the IT industry is the owner of Microsoft, Bill Gates. He belonged to a middle class family. He started his career with the “Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry System" (MITS). He worked very hard and became the richest person in the world.
Another example is Abraham Lincoln 16th president of America. He also belonged to poor family. He used to earn his livelihood by manual labor and his hard work eventually led him to the success.
There is also a case that some lucky people get success without any hard work but they are in very small amount. Majority has to follow the rule of hard work which is the only way for them to get success in life.




(Here is my essay please check and point out my grammatical, spelling and structural mistakes. I will appreciate if anyone tell whether I was relevant to topic or not and starting of topic is fine or not. How is my expression of writing?)

Farrukh Aziz Saturday, June 30, 2012 07:39 PM

[QUOTE=fouzia23;448290]The point depicted in the expression reveals that a person gets success in his life when he feels that no door has remained open for him in the world now and there is no use of hard work. He forgets that success is always a hard nut to crack. All great people in the world became successful only because of hard work. [B]I can be better described with this statement[/B], “hard work is a key to success”. Not every person is lucky enough to taste success immediately. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. At this point they lose all their hopes and become doubtful about their competence and skills. If they keep firm faith on their hard work and leave no stone unturned to get success then surely one day they will come out with flying colours on the face of world.
History provides us with various examples of people who earned a name for themselves due to sheer hard work. The most renowned personality in the IT industry is the owner of Microsoft, Bill Gates. He belonged to a middle class family. He started his career with the “Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry System" (MITS). He worked very hard and became the richest person in the world.
Another example is Abraham Lincoln 16th president of America. He also belonged to poor family. He used to earn his livelihood by manual labor and his hard work eventually led him to the success.
There is also a case that some lucky people get success without any hard work but they are in very small amount. Majority has to follow the rule of hard work which is the only way for them to get success in life.




(Here is my essay please check and point out my grammatical, spelling and structural mistakes. I will appreciate if anyone tell whether I was relevant to topic or not and starting of topic is fine or not. How is my expression of writing?)[/QUOTE]
Your expression is really good & up to the mark.there is a unity of ideas, good order,etc.But the sentence in bold i haven't got.

agnes Saturday, June 30, 2012 08:27 PM

[QUOTE=Farrukh Aziz;448366]Your expression is really good & up to the mark.there is a unity of ideas, good order,etc.But the sentence in bold i haven't got.[/QUOTE]

sorry its typing mistake. I wanted to write " it " but wrote I unconciously .

Farrukh Aziz Saturday, June 30, 2012 08:34 PM

[QUOTE=fouzia23;448386]sorry its typing mistake. I wanted to write " it " but wrote I unconciously .[/QUOTE]
Kindly check my precis

By and large,courage is of two kinds,i.e. moral courage and physical courage.Physical courage means such a courage which makes its possessor bear the brunt of physical pains,troubles,death,etc.while by Moral courage courage we mean courage to face mockery,criticisms,etc of the people.This is dead true that a person can have only one of them one at a time.Moral courage is,I think, superior to physical courage and the person who possesses it is actual brave.

(Kindly,point out grammatical and other mistakes.I'm waiting for the quick reply

Faheem Ahmed Akhtar Monday, July 02, 2012 01:42 PM

[QUOTE=fouzia23;448386]sorry its typing mistake. I wanted to write " it " but wrote I unconciously .[/QUOTE]

do you use any handbook for ideas??????????:glare:

agnes Monday, July 02, 2012 06:29 PM

[QUOTE=Faheem Ahmed Akhtar;449050]do you use any handbook for ideas??????????:glare:[/QUOTE]

no i write it by my own.

usman khalid Tuesday, July 03, 2012 10:21 AM

[QUOTE=fouzia23;448290]

The point depicted in the expression reveals that a person gets success in his life when he feels that no door has remained open for him in the world now and there is no use of hard work. He forgets that success is always a hard nut to crack. All great people in the world became successful only because of hard work. [COLOR="Magenta"][U]It[/U][/COLOR] can be better described with this statement, “hard work is a key to success[COLOR="magenta"][U]."[/U][/COLOR] Not every person is lucky enough to taste success immediately. [COLOR="magenta"][U]It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success.[/U][/COLOR] At this point they lose all their hopes and become doubtful about their competence and skills. If they keep firm faith on their hard work and leave no stone unturned to get success then surely one day they will come out with flying colours on the face of world.
History provides us with various examples of people who earned a name for themselves due to sheer hard work. The most renowned personality in the IT industry is the owner of Microsoft, Bill Gates. He belonged to a middle class family. He started his career with the “Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry System" (MITS). He worked very hard and became the richest person in the world.
Another example is Abraham Lincoln[COLOR="magenta"][U],[/U][/COLOR] 16th president of America. He also belonged to [COLOR="magenta"][U]a[/U][/COLOR] poor family. He used to earn his livelihood by manual labor and his hard work eventually led him to the success.
There is also a case that some lucky people get success without any hard work but they are in very small [COLOR="magenta"][U]number[/U][/COLOR]. Majority has to follow the rule of hard work which is the only way for them to get success in life.


[/QUOTE]

Well done! Underlined and coloured are some suggested changes. Duplication of the sentence in first paragraph has also been underlined.

agnes Tuesday, July 03, 2012 12:12 PM

[QUOTE=usman khalid;449377]Well done! Underlined and coloured are some suggested changes. Duplication of the sentence in first paragraph has also been underlined.[/QUOTE]

sorry I didn't know that its written twice

ImranAhsen Wednesday, November 21, 2012 08:59 PM

[QUOTE=fouzia23;448290]The point depicted in the expression reveals that a person gets success in his life when he feels that no door has remained open for him in the world now and there is no use of hard work. He forgets that success is always a hard nut to crack. All great people in the world became successful only because of hard work. I can be better described with this statement, “hard work is a key to success”. Not every person is lucky enough to taste success immediately. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. It is also a harsh reality that sometimes people work very hard but still remain deprived of eating the fruit of success. At this point they lose all their hopes and become doubtful about their competence and skills. If they keep firm faith on their hard work and leave no stone unturned to get success then surely one day they will come out with flying colours on the face of world.
History provides us with various examples of people who earned a name for themselves due to sheer hard work. The most renowned personality in the IT industry is the owner of Microsoft, Bill Gates. He belonged to a middle class family. He started his career with the “Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry System" (MITS). He worked very hard and became the richest person in the world.
Another example is Abraham Lincoln 16th president of America. He also belonged to poor family. He used to earn his livelihood by manual labor and his hard work eventually led him to the success.
There is also a case that some lucky people get success without any hard work but they are in very small amount. Majority has to follow the rule of hard work which is the only way for them to get success in life.




(Here is my essay please check and point out my grammatical, spelling and structural mistakes. I will appreciate if anyone tell whether I was relevant to topic or not and starting of topic is fine or not. How is my expression of writing?)[/QUOTE]
This is what we may call a fantastic expansion. In my point of view there is a small corection. we say it " Fruits of success" instead of " Fruit of success". Please correct me if you believe I am wrong.


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