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exclusively Saturday, March 01, 2014 04:03 AM

[QUOTE=kinglibra;698852][CENTER][SIZE="5"][B][U]We might not all be great men but we can become better men:[/U][/B][/SIZE][/CENTER]

All men, in this world do not [B]possess [/B]an equal set of qualities and attributes. Some people are bestowed with higher intelligence and more abilities than others. Such persons, therefore, leave a mark on the thinking patterns of masses through their brilliant and extraordinary ideas, research and creative works. On the contrary, although, a 'common man' may not be able to contribute to such an extent, yet he can prove beneficial for the society by contributing as much as his talents and skills allow. Through sincere efforts he can render significant services to the society. In this way even the little help by all men will prove much fruitful to the betterment of human society.
Few personalities, equipped with remarkable talents, from the very beginning of their career, show outstanding achievements in their respective fields of expertise. Albert Einstein, Shakespeare, Bacon, Darwin, Isaac Newton, Socrates are few to name[B]s[/B]. They are considered as the great men of all time, and are remembered today due to their incredible innovations. Practically, it is the nature of their contribution to the world that imparts greatness upon them. It was their work that earned them such reverence. On the other side[B]after full stop, use pronoun)[/B] are the vast majority of people who fall under the category of 'common men'. After having lived their life, their identity starts to fade away and eventually disappears from this world as the time passes by, as if they never existed! If man cannot leave a mark on the sands of time, he at least can become a useful part of the society by extending a helping hand towards his fellows. He can render a great deal of service to the cause of humanity by adopting an attitude of sympathy, compassion and passion towards the poor and the needy. As Mother Teresa has remarked, “Not all of us can do great things, but we can do small things with great love.”, the real greatness comes from extending the arms of love and compassion towards the downtrodden. God did not create man only to live his life running after his material ambitions, rather He assigned man with the duty to follow the path of righteousness and to assist his fellow beings. But in today's technological era, man has become self-centered and ignorant of the moral values that he is bound to follow. It is observance of moral values that separates him from animals. He can prove his humanity through humane behaviour. Islam strongly advocates helping the poor. It focuses very well on human rights and has suggested various ways to fulfil them. One of them is the economical support in the form of 'Zakat'. By giving Zakat, economic disparity in the society can be alleviated and the poor will be able to satisfy their basic needs. What else can be as great as feeding a hungry child!
Lives of all great men give the lesson that greatness can be found in the acts of love, compassion and dedication for the betterment of the society. For that very purpose the will of the person is crucial. If men were to follow Islamic ideology in its real essence, this world would be free from sorrows and sufferings. In this way a common man can become a better man.[/QUOTE]


Your way of expression is really nice. I have pointed out some of your mistakes. It is well attempted and your examples are to the level of perfection. Great work dear.. Keep it up..:)

TAQDEES SHAIKH Monday, March 10, 2014 03:28 AM

where is the logical analysis in all of your[COLOR="Black"][B][/B][/COLOR] Expansions??????????????

TAQDEES SHAIKH Monday, March 10, 2014 03:36 AM

There is verbosity in a sense of repeatation of words, welll .... where's the logical analysis para ??? :( i have to work out on that part of expansions!!!

Maidah shaikh Monday, March 10, 2014 09:18 AM

asalam ualaikum
what is the next topic for expansion ?

kinglibra Monday, March 10, 2014 03:23 PM

[QUOTE=TAQDEES SHAIKH;703823]There is verbosity in a sense of repeatation of words, welll .... where's the logical analysis para ??? :( i have to work out on that part of expansions!!![/QUOTE]

Criticism is welcomed and kindly point out defective areas and give some suggestions.

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exclusively Monday, March 10, 2014 04:21 PM

[QUOTE=Maidah shaikh;703838]asalam ualaikum
what is the next topic for expansion ?[/QUOTE]

[B]God helps those who help themselves[/B]

Shuiab Ahmed Monday, March 10, 2014 04:50 PM

[QUOTE=exclusively;701065]Well done dear. You can attempt it more better than this. Keep going on..

Sorry to late reply as I was busy in my CSS exam :) Now, you can post your expansion daily. Inshallah I will be checking out your expansions on daily basis.:) Good Luck..[/QUOTE]

Thanks dear...........

[SIZE="4"]
Dilemma Of Youth In Pakistan[/SIZE]

Pakistan is one of the countries which are thickly young populated. According to recent demographic survey, more than 60% of population consists of youth and is deemed as a young country. Meanwhile, Pakistan’s youth has been suffering from multifarious problems. Doubtless, unemployment is deemed as a huge obstacle in the path of young generation. Similarly the advanced science and technology is being consistently misused by the young ones. The youth has been deliberately wasting their precious time on the pretext of social networking and mobile night packages. These dilemmas are needed to be tackled wisely to protect the future of young generation from the social evils. It is direly needed to place the youth on the right track because youth’s future is directly associated with country’s future.

Nonetheless, unemployment has caused a severe dilemma among the youth. It is a grave hindrance in the path of progress. While on the contrary, unemployment’s graph has been increasing on horse’s pace, all that happens due to weak economic structure of the country. Our country’s economy is not too strong to sustain the load of all graduates. Majority of youth is constrained in the chains of unemployment that cause serious psychological effects on youth. At the same time, unemployment renders severe setbacks in the social structure. In the context, unemployed youth might indulge in social evils like theft, robbery to cater their material desires. Consequently, it creates anarchy in the society and takes the nation at the brink of destruction.

Moreover, literacy rate has been detroiting on horse’s pace. In this context Pakistan is deemed as the lowest literacy rate country. The policy makers fail to come up with an effective education plan. Aftermath, it caused a severe dilemma among the youth. Meanwhile, a deluge youth face hindrances in the path of education. The point of concern is that youth has been suffering from severe disease of illiteracy among the youth. No doubt, education is considered as a lamp that brightens the path of nation’s progress. A renowned writer quoted that education is the tool which perpetuates the nation progress and if the tool is snatched from the nation, would take the nation at the brink of destruction. Illiteracy is serious dilemma among the youth of Pakistan.

Country’s youth has been facing many dilemmas that need to be resolved on urgent pace. Otherwise it would cause severe setbacks in the society. Meanwhile, a drastic policy is direly needed to eradicate the roots of evils. Moreover, a strong fabric of economy is prerequisite to sustain the load jobs of educated youth. Consequently, education is the only vaccine to cure the deadly disease of dilemma among the youth.

exclusively Monday, March 10, 2014 05:44 PM

[QUOTE=Shuiab Ahmed;703979]Thanks dear...........

[SIZE="4"]
Dilemma Of Youth In Pakistan[/SIZE]

Pakistan is one of the [B]major[/B]countries which [B]are (is)[/B]thickly young populated. According to[B](the)[/B] recent demographic survey, more than 60% of population consists of youth and is deemed as a young country. Meanwhile, Pakistan’s youth has been suffering from multifarious problems. Doubtless, unemployment is deemed as a huge obstacle in the path of young generation. Similarly([B],0[/B] the advanced science and technology is being consistently misused by the young ones. The youth has been deliberately wasting their precious time on the pretext of social networking and mobile night packages. These dilemmas are needed to be tackled wisely to protect the future of young generation from the social evils. It is direly needed to place the youth on the right track because youth’s future is directly associated with country’s future.

Nonetheless, unemployment has caused a severe dilemma among the youth. It is a grave hindrance in the path of progress. While on the contrary, unemployment’s graph has been increasing on horse’s pace, all that happens due to weak economic structure of the country. Our country’s economy is not too strong to sustain the load of all graduates. Majority of youth is constrained in the chains of unemployment that cause serious psychological effects on youth. At the same time, unemployment renders severe setbacks in the social structure. In the context, unemployed youth might indulge in social evils like theft, robbery to cater their material desires. Consequently, it creates anarchy in the society and takes the nation at the brink of destruction.

Moreover, literacy rate has been detroiting [B]on/at [/B]horse’s pace. In this context Pakistan is deemed as the lowest literacy rate country. The policy makers fail to come up with an effective education plan. Aftermath, it caused a severe dilemma among the youth. Meanwhile, a deluge youth face hindrances in the path of education. The point of concern is that youth has been suffering from severe disease of illiteracy among the youth. No doubt, education is considered as a lamp that brightens the path of nation’s progress. A renowned writer quoted that education is the tool which perpetuates the nation progress and if the tool is snatched from the nation, would take the nation at the brink of destruction. Illiteracy is serious dilemma among the youth of Pakistan.

Country’s youth has been facing many dilemmas that need to be resolved on urgent pace. Otherwise it would cause severe setbacks in the society. Meanwhile, a drastic policy is direly needed to eradicate the roots of evils. Moreover, a strong fabric of economy is prerequisite to sustain the load jobs of educated youth. Consequently, education is the only vaccine to cure the deadly disease of dilemma among the youth.[/QUOTE]


I appreciate your effort. Dear mention some famous examples. You are doing a good and keep going on. I have pointed out some of your mistakes, do not repeat them again..

Good Luck for your next attempt..

your next topic is "[B]First deserve then desire[/B]" CSS-2014

mehwishnawaz Monday, March 10, 2014 09:56 PM

First deserve than desire
 
It's my first expansion on this forum, at very early stage hope i'll improve with the passage of time......Kindly evaluate

There are lot of dreams in one's life some one want to become a doctor, an engineer, pilot officer, CSP etc but in order accomplish them hard work, perseverance, self-denial, dedication are the pre-requisite elements...
A seed first burst itself into the soil, giving it's best after that converts into a huge tree..Our religion spread all over the world because of tremendous and enormous efforts of our beloved Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) and his followers as they patiently bear cruelty of Quraish leaders but finally win their hearts and conquered Makkah...
Life is not a bed of roses, one has to walk on the road of hard work, struggle, dedication to reach destiny ...
"A dream doesn't become reality through magic. it takes sweat, determination and hard work"..
(Colin Powell)

Ahmed Faisal Monday, March 10, 2014 11:49 PM

[QUOTE=mehwishnawaz;704144]It's my first expansion on this forum, at very early stage hope i'll improve with the passage of time......Kindly evaluate

There are lot of dreams in one's life some one want to become a doctor, an engineer, pilot officer, CSP etc but in order accomplish them hard work, perseverance, self-denial, dedication are the pre-requisite elements...
A seed first burst itself into the soil, giving it's best after that converts into a huge tree..Our religion spread all over the world because of tremendous and enormous efforts of our beloved Holy Prophet (P.B.U.H) and his followers as they patiently bear cruelty of Quraish leaders but finally win their hearts and conquered Makkah...
Life is not a bed of roses, one has to walk on the road of hard work, struggle, dedication to reach destiny ...
"A dream doesn't become reality through magic. it takes sweat, determination and hard work"..
(Colin Powell)[/QUOTE]
As you said it is your first expansion, so we can ignore your mistakes. But it would be better your mistakes be highlighted so that you may correct yourself. What I can see in your expansion is lack of coherency, relevancy and good grammar. You need to keep few things in your mind about expansion. First, when you expand any saying or quotation, the first thing you should do is to write, in the first or introductory paragraph, the meaning of quotation and explain it later. Next comes the second paragraph in which you can add relevant examples which further support your expansion. Two or three examples are sufficient. The third paragraph is your conclusion in which you sum up the whole expansion. Your expansion better be of three paragraphs but you may stretch it to five. Secondly, try to avoid giving Islamic touch to your expansion unless it is the requirement. It is because examiner wants something different and unconventional. It has been observed that majority of the candidates give Islamic examples because of lack of knowledge. Your task should be to write something different and unique. Now you can write the same expansion again with the help of given suggestions and then see the difference.


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