@sikander kalhoro.
dear i may not be the best to judge your abilities but in my opinion your writing needs more practise.there is incoherence between sentences and some words are inappropriately used for eg the use of "tranquilly" in the sentence makes no sense to me.again thats just my opinion

our ancestors were certainly living in a far better condition than ours.the socio-economic and political indicators were generally good.their environment was much cleaner than that of today.indeed,they were blessed with so many gifts that we cannot even imagine today.
no doubt poverty existed in their time as weel but the prices of basic commodities were very low.a sack of flour costed only a few paisas.the cost of living was cheap.no exorbitant rents, no inflation or inadvertant expenditures on electricity,cell phones and cars.
the social fabric of the society was well intact and thriving.the joint family system ensured that everyone will support each other.cupidity and materialism were words unknown to the people.peace and tranquility prevailed,and the terms of terrorism and target killings were unheard of.
the environment was clean and filled with fresh air.there was greenery everywhere.home cooked food,clean water and phsycial work kept them safe and healthy.there was no danger of ebola virus or bird flu.
unfortunately, we see that everyone today is busy in a rat race.greediness and competitiveness have engulfed the entire system.even a child has to face enormous pressure to fulfill the high expectations of his parents.lawlessness has confined people to their homes and social networking has been shrinked to a laptop screen.
to conclude,our elders led a healthy and care free lifestyle.a modern day man can only wish for those days.no doubt,our predecessors were luckier than us.

seniors please check..

[QUOTE=7ali;771805]@sikander kalhoro.
dear i may not be the best to judge your abilities but in my opinion your writing needs more practise.there is incoherence between sentences and some words are inappropriately used for eg the use of "tranquilly" in the sentence makes no sense to me.again thats just my opinion[/QUOTE]

As far as practice is concerned, yes, i am not used to practising expansions and not adept in it. There word 'tranquilly' is used here with a denotation to a sigh of relief when we get out of the obstructions and enter into success and our inward feeling are aroused .

"Let us agree to disagree in an agree-able way"
 

Seniors please check:

[B]"Let us agree to disagree in an agree-able way" (CSS 2013)[/B]


It is true that one should, if reasonable, disagree in agree-able manner. For, disagreeing is very natural and is part of human nature. God has given humans diverse thinkings, for that all, humans can not have same thinking. But when disagreeing they should do it in agreeable manner i.e. in pacific manner.

Disagreeing in agree-able manner has manifold advantages. If two or more groups are disagreeing in agree-able manner they are less likely to violate each other's rights and possessions thus making less harm to themselves and surroundings.

Moreover, agree-able manner could also lead the problem on the path of solution. Problems mainly erupt because of egoism and it is generally accepted that pacificism is the solution of all sorts of egoism. For that, disagreeing groups will slowly and gradually be agreed.

"The test of man is when he is in quarrel" - Bernard Shaw
Further, as Shaw rightly says quarrel (disagreeing) shows real personality of any person. Disagreeing in agreeable manner implies well-mannered personality whereas disagreeing in unruly manner implies immature and ignorant personality. Therefore, disagreeing should be in agree-able, pacific and non-extremist way.

Conclusively, keeping the statement in view and analysing it critically, it is established that "Yes, Everyone should agree to disagree on agree-able terms".

[B][SIZE="3"][CENTER]Love is beautiful but baleful god.[/CENTER][/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"][FONT="Arial Narrow"]
There is nothing more beautiful in the world than love and it is not less than a cruel and merciless god. It has no mercy for anyone. It comes by its free will and cages its preys with its charming and magical beauty. Thousands of lovers have sacrificed their lives on the altar of love. A moth carelessly hovers over fire and how can fire be mercifull to moth?

Every poet or poetess on earth; Pakistani or Indian, German or Russian, Chinese or Roman, American or African, whosoever, their first poetry are about separation, sorrows and restlessness. Rumi, a well-known poet and mystic, after his beloved's separation, started weeping lonely all the nights. He composed his first poem on seperation of reed:
"Listen to the story told by the reed,
Of being separated,
Since I was cut from the reedbed,
I have made this crying sound."

Love is delightful when it is kind and when it turns its nature , it spreads sufferings, chaos and adversities. There are many characters in history who harmed their lives in longings and sufferings. So are today, there are thousands of lovers who punish themselves or ruin their lives. Love does not care about consequences yet mankind loves the love.

Love is quite attractive like greek goddess Aphrodite and its merciless nature is not less than god Zeus. Love has undoubtedly evaluated mankind with its hard harships, tormants and tragedies. This natural process will go on and human beings will keep on falling in love. The love which is quite beautiful yet very baleful.

Regards. [/FONT][/SIZE]

[RIGHT]Criticism will be appreciated[/RIGHT]. [/B]

plz check my expansion
 

man is the architect of his fate


Since the time immortal,man has been blaming destiny for his mismanagement of affairs.But evidences have proved that those who worked day and night and choose the right direction 4 their futures,succeed in making their futures bright.they have proved that hardwork is the only key to success.Through planning and struggle,man has made himself able to become the architect of his fate.man is capable of carving his future and becoming philosophers,writers,scientists astronomers and many more.
The old superstitious believe of relying on the destiny has been replaced by the fact that it is the one and only,man power which brings him out of the darknesses into light. Newton,einstein,mandleef they were all ordinary people.It was their hard work and determination which turns them into celebrities and their names shimmer on the globe.it is rightly said that
Man is the captain of his own ship
he is the architect of his own fate.

[QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;777043][B][SIZE="3"][CENTER]Love is beautiful but baleful god.[/CENTER][/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"][FONT="Arial Narrow"]
There is nothing more beautiful in the world than love and it is not less than a cruel and merciless god. It has no mercy for anyone. It comes by its free will and cages its preys with its charming and magical beauty. Thousands of lovers have sacrificed their lives on the altar of love. A moth carelessly hovers over fire and how can fire be mercifull to moth?

Every poet or poetess on earth; Pakistani or Indian, German or Russian, Chinese or Roman, American or African, whosoever, their first poetry are about separation, sorrows and restlessness. Rumi, a well-known poet and mystic, after his beloved's separation, started weeping lonely all the nights. He composed his first poem on seperation of reed:
"Listen to the story told by the reed,
Of being separated,
Since I was cut from the reedbed,
I have made this crying sound."

Love is delightful when it is kind and when it turns its nature , it spreads sufferings, chaos and adversities. There are many characters in history who harmed their lives in longings and sufferings. So are today, there are thousands of lovers who punish themselves or ruin their lives. Love does not care about consequences yet mankind loves the love.

Love is quite attractive like greek goddess Aphrodite and its merciless nature is not less than god Zeus. Love has undoubtedly evaluated mankind with its hard harships, tormants and tragedies. This natural process will go on and human beings will keep on falling in love. The love which is quite beautiful yet very baleful.

Regards. [/FONT][/SIZE]

[RIGHT]Criticism will be appreciated[/RIGHT]. [/B][/QUOTE]



Just to share a couplet :
This noise of the reed is fire, it is not wind;
whoso hath not this fire, may he be naught!

:bow

[QUOTE=7ali;771805]@sikander kalhoro.
dear i may not be the best to judge your abilities but in my opinion your writing needs more practise.there is incoherence between sentences and some words are inappropriately used for eg the use of "tranquilly" in the sentence makes no sense to me.again thats just my opinion[/QUOTE]

Should'nt it be 'practice'?

[B][QUOTE=RoadBlock;782196]Should'nt it be 'practice'?[/QUOTE]

Yes, it should be practice. Practise is a verb and practice is a noun. [/B]

[QUOTE=fizza anwer;778821]man is the architect of his fate


Since the time immortal,man has been blaming destiny for his mismanagement of affairs.But evidences have proved that those who worked day and night and choose the right direction 4 their futures,succeed in making their futures bright.they have proved that hardwork is the only key to success.Through planning and struggle,man has made himself able to become the architect of his fate.man is capable of carving his future and becoming philosophers,writers,scientists astronomers and many more.
The old superstitious believe of relying on the destiny has been replaced by the fact that it is the one and only,man power which brings him out of the darknesses into light. Newton,einstein,mandleef they were all ordinary people.It was their hard work and determination which turns them into celebrities and their names shimmer on the globe.it is rightly said that
Man is the captain of his own ship
he is the architect of his own fate.[/QUOTE]

[B]First sentence:[/B]
1. Since time immemorial <- this is an idiom so cannot be altered
[B]Second sentence[/B]
2. In the second sentence, "choose" should be "chose", why? because you have used past tense i.e "worked"
3. Also try not to start sentences with But, but if you do, remember to put comma (,) after it i.e But, However, Therefore, etc It is a better practice to use the word However instead. As a rule of them, when you use transition words/phrases at the beginning of the sentence, follow it with a comma.
4. No comma before succeed; also it should be "succeeded" because of the past tense. Although you can have multiple tenses in the same sentence, here it is not applicable. Why? because the verbs "chose" and "succeeded" are referring to the people WHO [B]WORKED [/B] in the past.
[B]Fourth Sentence[/B]
5. Try to remain concise. Just simply say "Through planning and struggle, man has become the architect of his fate." Or "Through planning and struggle man has harnessed the capacity to become the architect of his fate." <- this is a suggestion.
[B]Fifth Sentence[/B]
6. If you want to change tenses within the same paragraph, try to be careful. In the previous sentence (5) the tense was present perfect, i.e 'has become'...In this sentence you have switched to simple present 'is'. Although grammatically there is nothing wrong, it sounds a little odd. I would suggest "Man [B]has become[/B] capable of carving his own future and becoming [B]a[/B] philosopher, writer, scientist, astronomer and [B]much more[/B]. Note that the disciplines are singular i.e philosopher not philosopher[B]s[/B], because the subject 'Man' is singular.
[B]Sixth Sentence[/B]
7. Very long sentence
8. Belief not believe
9. No need for Comma
10. Dont know what you are trying to say here, but I think the theme of this sentence is "man can change his own destiny" and "Logic above superstition"
Seventh Sentence
11. Newton, Einstein, [B]and [/B]Mandleef were ordinary people; remove [B]they[/B] and [B]all[/B]
8th Sentence
12. [B]Turned [/B]not turns,

I hope this clears it. Any critique on my critique is most welcome :)