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  #11  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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(Rome was not built in a day)

The above proverb suggests that nothing great can be done or accomplished in a short time.A herculean task is impossible to be achieved in a twinkling.It will obviously require you a long time and it won't let you sleep or rest satisfactorily until its completion.If you go to Karachi from Sukkur,it won't take you much time.On the contrary, If you go to Lahore from Sukkur, it will definitely take you a long time to reach there.Little tasks can be done in the twinkling of an eye but for the completion of great and commendable tasks,several days and several nights are sacrificed.
Rome,in olden times, was ideal for its army power,for wealth and prosperity and for everything that is of great and exclusive importance in human life.Rome achieved all these things not in one day but its people spent many sleepless nights in laboring hard to take it to this position of success. Nepolen conquered the whole Europe not in a single day but slowly and gradually he did so.He was born poor.Patience and perseverance that he had, made him a successful person.
If we study or peep into the lives of the great men,we will come to know that they reached the heights of success by burning their mid-night oil and by laboring steadily and patiently.They knew very well that there is no royal road to success but hard work. These men are the source of inspiration for those who want to do something great in their lives and those who want to get their names written in the chapters of history.
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  #12  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Suggested corrections have been coloured.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Farrukh Aziz View Post
(Rome was not built in a day)

The above proverb suggests that nothing great can be done or accomplished in a short time.A herculean task is impossible to be completed in a twinkling.It will obviously require you a long time and it will not (Try not to use short forms while writing formal english especially in exams let you sleep or rest satisfactorily till its completion (or until it is completed). If you go to Karachi from Sukkur, it will not take you much time.On the contrary, If you go to Lahore from Sukkur, it will definitely take you a long time to reach there.Little tasks can be done in the twinkling of an eye but for the completion of great and commendable tasks,several days and several nights are sacrificed.
Rome,in olden times, was ideal for its army power,for wealth and prosperity and for everything that is of great and exclusive importance in human life.Rome achieved all these things not in one day but its people spent many sleepless nights in laboring hard (Is labour hard a phrasal verb? I haven't come across this expression before!) to take it to this position of success. Nepolen conquered the whole Europe not in a single day but slowly and gradually he did so.He was born poor.Patience and perseverance that he had, made him a successful person.
If we study or peep into the lives of the great men,we will come to know that they reached the heights of success by burning their mid-night oil and by laboring steadily and patiently.They knew very well that there is no royal road to success but hard work. These men are the source of inspiration for those who want to do something great in their lives and those who want to get their names written in the chapters of history.
Very well done
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  #13  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fiza mehar View Post
Rome was not built in one day

Any great plan or big dream cannot be achieved overnight.One should not expect to build something great ("Rome") in a short period of time(single day),Rome was in the long past a marshy tract of land,It grew up not overnight by the magic of Aladdin’s wonder lamp, but by steady and strenuous efforts.

In world all Scientific inventions ,discoveries by the famous scientist like ISAAC NEWTON, EINSTEIN, AL BRUNEI, JABBER BIN HAYAN were not achieved by the struggle of one day, Behind all great discoveries there were years of devotion and patient work of the scientist

If anyone wants to do some brilliant work in the world he/she need full devotion, concentration and to be consistent with time.because the Goals/aims become easy to achieve through step by step approach.
Mistakes are told by Usman Khalid, I want to add some.

Have you counted your words? These are around 140 and You had to write more than 250.

And, you had to give examples, like; Pakistan's (HOW IT WAS BUILT) or you have quoted names of scientists, it had better you quote example of Edison about Electric Bulb.

Try to expand the idea more. Overall good it is.
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  #14  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by usman khalid View Post
Very well done Zuhaib! However, what I would suggest is to reduce the use of quotations because expansion is supposed to be around 250-300 words and it cannot accomodate around 60-70 words of quotations only. At most, 2 quotations and 2 examples to support the topic or your arguments should be enough.
Yes, I shall surely do as you say.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Farrukh Aziz View Post
(Rome was not built in a day)

The above proverb suggests that nothing great can be done or accomplished in a short time.A herculean task is impossible to be achieved in a twinkling.It will obviously require you a long time and it won't let you sleep or rest satisfactorily until its completion.If you go to Karachi from Sukkur,it won't take you much time.On the contrary, If you go to Lahore from Sukkur, it will definitely take you a long time to reach there.Little tasks can be done in the twinkling of an eye but for the completion of great and commendable tasks,several days and several nights are sacrificed.
Rome,in olden times, was ideal for its army power,for wealth and prosperity and for everything that is of great and exclusive importance in human life.Rome achieved all these things not in one day but its people spent many sleepless nights in laboring hard to take it to this position of success. Nepolen conquered the whole Europe not in a single day but slowly and gradually he did so.He was born poor.Patience and perseverance that he had, made him a successful person.
If we study or peep into the lives of the great men,we will come to know that they reached the heights of success by burning their mid-night oil and by laboring steadily and patiently.They knew very well that there is no royal road to success but hard work. These men are the source of inspiration for those who want to do something great in their lives and those who want to get their names written in the chapters of history.

Quite well as Dear, Usman said.

All is well but If you add some literary taste, it can bloom up your expansion.
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  #15  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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If winter comes, can spring be far behind?


Birds get frozen, flowers get withered, from a pebble of earth to the star of sky all get silenced. It is the time when winter jumps in. Torments, tensions, tragedies, tortures come up when west wind of winter blows. Winter is the time of sweet sorrowfulness and dangerous difficulties. However, when spring comes it brings gala days; birds fly up, and flowers get bloomed. Oh! Spring, you are a hope in calamities of life. Winter is the symbol of destruction and bareness whereas spring is the symbol of hope and fruitfulness.

Around 250 thousand years ago a winter in Rome went on, in which slaves were smashed and slaughtered. Cruelity and ignorance was at peaks. At that time, a man of might and words stood like an insurmountable mountain and fought against Roman Republic for slaves. That man was Spartacus. He had almost perished the Government, but he was chopped in Third Servile War. But when he was martyred he said these words. "I will come again, not alone, but with millions." And, yes, he came again with spring in Rome and, which perished the winter of that time.

The winter of crises, problems, destruction has charged our country Pakistan. It has brought many critical and havoc circumstances which have taken lives of thousands. But hopeful spring is far behind and clouds of happiness are forecast which will bring pleasures and prosperity in Pakistan. Moulana Jalal Din Rumi says, "Don't grieve, whatever you lose comes in another form." So, one should push the winter out, and make outlets for spring to come in. And, coming spring will be joyous and peaceful. If winter has come, yes, spring is far behind.

Winter snatches green leaves of trees, smashes colours of butterflies, slaughter blooming flowers. But, when everything is lost there hope dwells and that is the spring, which has to come anyhow after winter and that is the cycle of life.

'Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.'


Do check this of mine, I had written this a month ago.
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  #16  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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These are mostly grammatical and usage errors. I hope you won't mind this By the way, if I am wrong in any of following points, please don't shy away from telling me

Quote:
Birds get frozen, flowers get withered, from a pebble of earth to the star of sky all get silenced.
Can't join independent clauses with commas. Put a semicolon before 'flowers' and before 'from'.
Also, this 'winter' happens as a rule; shouldn't you write this in simple present? 'Birds freeze; flowers wither..."

Quote:
It is the time when winter jumps in.
Jumps, really?

Quote:
sweet sorrowfulness and dangerous difficulties
'Sorrows'

Quote:
birds fly up, and flowers get bloomed
No comma before 'and', and can this sentence stand by its own? I am not sure myself, but it sounds strange.

Quote:
It has brought many critical and havoc circumstances
Havoc is a noun.

Quote:
The winter of crises, problems, destruction has charged our country Pakistan.
problems and destruction

Quote:
Cruelity and ignorance was at peaks.
Check spelling of cruelty. Incorrect Subject-Verb agreement.
Cruelty and ignorance were at peak.

Quote:
hopeful spring is far behind
What you're trying to say is, "Hopeful spring is behind"; 'far behind' implies it's not coming any time soon.

Quote:
And, yes, he came again with spring in Rome and, (X) which perished the winter of that time.
Came again with spring? I know what you meant, but the sentence is ambiguous.

Quote:
Rome went on, in which slaves
Remove comma

Quote:
Winter snatches green leaves of trees, smashes colours of butterflies, slaughter blooming flowers.
Smashes colours? I am sorry but this metaphor doesn't work.

Quote:
If winter has come, yes, spring is far behind.
How about replacing 'yes' with 'indeed'? And again remove 'far'.

Quote:
And, coming spring will be joyous and peaceful.
And, come spring, it will joyous and peaceful.
Quote:
'Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.'
No single quotes.

Zuhaib remember 2 things when you write:
1) Remove needless words (I repeat, remove needless words.)
2) Adjective, generally speaking, weakens a sentence.
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Last edited by chemguy; Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at 09:46 PM. Reason: Typo
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  #17  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Default Sweet are the uses of adversity

Sweet are the uses of adversity


Adversity can be defined as misery, affliction, tragedy, hardship, difficulty and any unfavorable or critical situation of life. Adversity by nature is a great teacher. He who faces it and enhances real experience of life he gets its zesty taste. There is mystery in misery which hides real lessons behind its thick curtains. A ship of life which sails smoothly in hardships, reaches the shore of success. He gets rubies who dives into depth of sea. Indeed, one who is difficult for difficulties gets its unlimited uses and everlasting lessons.

Thomas Edison was a newspaper seller and he was afraid of dark. He wanted to invent a bulb for his night phobia and for world. He tried almost one thousand times to invent a light bulb but he remained unsuccessful. He did not give up and surrender; his all tries were unsuccessful except one. Each try gave him strength and eager unto success. His labor bore fruit; his struggle made him succeeded and took him towards peaks of victories. When he was asked about his failures, he replied "I didn't fail 1,000 times. I found 1,000 ways how not to create a light bulb" Indeed, Thomas Edison got sweet uses of adversity and success.

Undoubtedly, difficulties teach us the things which none can teach in this world. They make us aware, experienced, passionate, strong and humanitarian. Life is a process of learning and one learns a lot from hardships. Difficulty is the basic and fundamental part of experience. One should take and face difficulty as a black cloud of rain, which rains extremely but fertilizes all barren grounds.




Do check this also.

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Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Default Empty vessel makes much noise

An empty vessel is a person with little knowledge and present himself as the scholar. Such people make claims which seem far beyond reality. They deliver their ideas infornt of people like themselves and collect the appreciation. This habit also accompany them in front of knowledgable and veteran people. These empty vessels are inferiority complex concious people and just want to avail the attention of masses. Interview is the common example of phenomenon where intelligent and wise candidates just remain stick to the answer of question and deliver comprehensive and to the point answer of question but some candidates having little knowledge consider themselves smart enough and think, they can dodge the veteran and qualified interviewers by beating the bushes. Same is the case with politicians. Seasoned and experianced politicians convey their point of view after evaluating the pros and cons of the matter , furnish their veiw or stance with logic and stand firmly on their stance. In contrast to them ignorant politician present their point of view without any research and don't support their stance with logic. They also don't leave any stone unturned to prove their illogic point of view.
Humility is hallmark of great men. A knowlegable person always remains concious of masses' expectations and he knows very well what he doesn't know. On the other hand empty vessels never try to read between the lines and always remains oblivian of what they dn't know. They forget the reality that knowlege is ocean and nobody can drink its whole water.
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  #19  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zuhaib ahmed View Post
If winter comes, can spring be far behind?


Birds get frozen, flowers get withered, from a pebble of earth to the star of sky all get silenced. It is the time when winter jumps in. Torments, tensions, tragedies, tortures come up when west wind of winter blows. Winter is the time of sweet sorrowfulness and dangerous difficulties. However, when spring comes it brings gala days; birds fly up, and flowers get bloomed. Oh! Spring, you are a hope in calamities of life. Winter is the symbol of destruction and bareness whereas spring is the symbol of hope and fruitfulness.

Around 250 thousand years ago a winter in Rome went on, in which slaves were smashed and slaughtered. Cruelity and ignorance was at peaks. At that time, a man of might and words stood like an insurmountable mountain and fought against Roman Republic for slaves. That man was Spartacus. He had almost perished the Government, but he was chopped in Third Servile War. But when he was martyred he said these words. "I will come again, not alone, but with millions." And, yes, he came again with spring in Rome and, which perished the winter of that time.

The winter of crises, problems, destruction has charged our country Pakistan. It has brought many critical and havoc circumstances which have taken lives of thousands. But hopeful spring is far behind and clouds of happiness are forecast which will bring pleasures and prosperity in Pakistan. Moulana Jalal Din Rumi says, "Don't grieve, whatever you lose comes in another form." So, one should push the winter out, and make outlets for spring to come in. And, coming spring will be joyous and peaceful. If winter has come, yes, spring is far behind.

Winter snatches green leaves of trees, smashes colours of butterflies, slaughter blooming flowers. But, when everything is lost there hope dwells and that is the spring, which has to come anyhow after winter and that is the cycle of life.

'Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.'


Do check this of mine, I had written this a month ago.
Zuhaib! Very well knitted words and lines

One of your sentence says: "If winter has come, yes, spring is far behind." Don't you think it should be other way around; "if winter has come, yes, spring is not far behind." Because happiness will surely follow sorrows so spring should not be far behind rather just steps away or little behind! What do you say?
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  #20  
Old Tuesday, July 10, 2012
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Originally Posted by usman khalid View Post
Zuhaib! Very well knitted words and lines

One of your sentence says: "If winter has come, yes, spring is far behind." Don't you think it should be other way around; "if winter has come, yes, spring is not far behind." Because happiness will surely follow sorrows so spring should not be far behind rather just steps away or little behind! What do you say?
Yes, Sir, I misunderstood the word "FAR BEHIND".

How and which were well knitted words?
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