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-   -   Everyone! Please take part in Expansions. (http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compulsory-subjects/english-precis-composition/expansion-paragraph/65470-everyone-please-take-part-expansions.html)

zuhaib ahmed Monday, July 09, 2012 07:19 PM

Everyone! Please take part in Expansions.
 
[B][SIZE="4"][FONT="Arial Black"]I start expansion section, here. If any one is interested, please click the button "thanks".

I shall post five expansions and one will have to attempt one expansion.


Everyone can check, vote and mark anyone's expansion.


Moderators, CSPs and seniors please click the button THANKS for assurance. [/FONT][/SIZE][/B]

zuhaib ahmed Monday, July 09, 2012 07:55 PM

[B][SIZE="2"][COLOR="Black"][SIZE="3"]How to write an expansion of idea.

1 [B].[/B] Explain the meaning of proverb or quotation in simple words. And, extract out its central idea.
2[B]. [/B]Illustrate the meaning with suitable examples.
3[B].[/B] Conclude the paragraph with an apposite message.


[/SIZE][/COLOR]

Expansion must be in flow and its paragraphs must be joined like beans of Rosary.
There should be 250-300 words.
Avoid repetitions of vocabulary and ideas.


Read two expansions of mine. [/SIZE][/B]



[SIZE="4"][B]Man probes into space but not into himself[/B][/SIZE]


The more time passes the more man goes away of self. He enters into materialistic world and space, and keeps away from spirituality and self. The self which is essence, but it is neglected. Man has discovered atom and stars but has never seen into himself. Self has supernatural secrets to tell, but man is busy with space. He discovers outer world but avoids inner mysteries .

All the Sufi, mystics and wise people said to know "self". They discovered the real quest. The great philosopher Socrates says, " Know thyself."Self tells all things. When one knows self, he knows the nature. However, man is looking at things in world and cosmos and doesn't peep into himself. Rumi Says, "Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."

The great philosopher and universal poet Moulana Jalaldeen Rumi tried to find God on Cristian Cross; he went at Hindu temples and pagodas, he searched into cave Hira; he went into Kaba and Macca, he looked into vallies and mountains, but God was not into heights and depths. Then, he sought into himself into his heart, and God was present. As Baba Bulleh Shah says, "You run to enter your mosques and temples, but you never entered your own heart."

Man discovers photons but doesn't probe into himself. He tries to live on mars but doesn't want to see life of self. He tries to know where planet Pluto is gone but doesn't want to know where he is derailed. He discovers planets like super-earth but doesn't look for the fact. And, Indeed, man probes into space not into himself.Bulleh Shah says, "We have drowned in the river of Self."

[SIZE="4"][B]The Nearer the Church the Farther From God (Expansion 2012) [/B]
[/SIZE]
Hundreds years of worship are useless without true love. Those who live days and nights in churches, and world dwells in their hearts; God is very far away from them. The only bond which makes bondage between God and Man of God is love. Worship goes futile without love. Those who live in churches, temples and mosques, and love for God is not in their hearts, God is farther from them.

When there was no time, cause, season, theory and reason, there was an existence of love. This entire cosmos is created for love. God is lover, and He loves the lovers not worshipers. The Satan is known as the greatest worshiper of God but God is farther from him. On account of Satan is worshiper not lover. Moulana Jalal Din Rumi says, “Without love, all worship is a burden.” Indeed, those who live in the place of worship, they are not the pious, unless they are lovers of God.


This is not just for Christians but for all. The Nearer the Temple The Farther From Buddha or the Nearer the Mosque The Farther From Allah. The prophet Mohammad PBUH says, “"Worship your Lord as if you see him during worship, and if you cannot do that, then worship as if He sees you " In both conditions, the world doesn't come in one's mind. If one cannot take one condition, then, it is like The Nearer the Church the Farther From God.


All the mystics, Sufi and pious people of the world have given value to love. They believe if God is not present in one's heart, and he prays days and nights; he is an infidel. As Maruf Kerkhi PBUH says, “If you pray and World comes in your mind, then, you prostrate to world.”


[COLOR="DarkRed"][B]There can be some mistakes but you should write like these. I hope you have understood how to write [/B][/COLOR]


[COLOR="DarkRed"][B][U]Moderators, CSPs and seniors you have to check everyone's expansions [/U][/B][/COLOR]

khankhajjak Monday, July 09, 2012 08:45 PM

[B]Man probes into space but not into himself[/B]

Man has reached the pinnacles of success while exploring the space around him. The only thing he failed into is to see deep inside himself, which is the true essence of his life. He is adding pages to histroy with remarkable streches in the field of science and technology but never tried to explore himself even for an hour or two. The true success lies in exploring himself,becuase it is the only way to know himself that for what he is here?

The scholars and reknowned people of past who understood the true meaning of life and went in achieving the real goal of life. The greatest example that lies infront of us is of our beloved prophet MUHAMMAD (p.b.u.h).who knowing all things spent his whole life in awakening the true sipirit of life in the hearts and minds of the people. For him the the success lied in making oneself able to achieve the objective of life.

The world being materialistic is of no use to man. Man should see deep inside himself and explore his innerself and make himself and his loved ones know the real destiny. so they could not make themselves and thier creator proud of themselves.

dear csps and my elder brothers ......plz pin point my mistakes .and also guide me if i am good at getting the actual meaning of topic....... thanks

zuhaib ahmed Monday, July 09, 2012 10:00 PM

[QUOTE=khankhajjak;451713][B]Man probes into space but not into himself[/B]

Man has reached the pinnacles of success while exploring the space around him. The only thing he failed into is to see deep inside himself, which is the true essence of his life. He is adding pages to histroy with remarkable streches in the field of science and technology but never tried to explore himself even for an hour or two. [B]The true success lies in exploring himself,becuase it is the only way to know himself that for what he is here? [/B] (RE-ARRANGE IT, It makes pauses.)

The scholars and reknowned people of past who understood the true meaning of life and went in achieving the real goal of life. The greatest example that lies infront of us is of our beloved prophet MUHAMMAD (p.b.u.h).who knowing all things spent his whole life in awakening the true sipirit of life in the hearts and minds of the people. For him the the success lied in making oneself able to achieve the objective of life.[B] (And that objective is to know SELF)
[/B]
The world being materialistic is of no use to man. [B]Man should see deep inside himself and explore his innerself and make himself and his loved ones know the real destiny[/B] (Three times SELF and AND are used in one sentence, avoid repetition.). [B]so they could not make themselves and thier creator proud of themselves. (Ye line maza nhn ker rahy.) [/B][/QUOTE]


[B]Quite good try. But, avoid complexity. Play with words and try to write simple. [/B]


[B]Regards,[/B]

zuhaib ahmed Monday, July 09, 2012 10:05 PM

[B][SIZE="4"][FONT="Arial Black"]Write on one of the following.

1. Rome was not built in one day.
2. If winter comes, can spring be far behind.
3. An empty vessel makes much noise.
4. Where ignorance is bliss, it is folly to be wise.
5. Sweet are the uses of adversity.




[/FONT][/SIZE][/B]

zuhaib ahmed Monday, July 09, 2012 10:58 PM

[B]Some grammatical mistakes.[/B]


Man has reached the pinnacles of success while exploring the space around him. The only thing he [U][B]failed into[/B][/U] ([B]fails [/B]) is to see deep inside himself, which is the true essence of his life. He is adding pages to [B][U]histroy[/U][/B] ([B]History[/B]) with remarkable streches in the field of science and technology but never [B][U]tried[/U][/B] ([B]tries[/B]) to explore himself even for an hour or two. [B]The true success lies in exploring himself,becuase it is the only way to know himself that for what he is here? [/B](RE-ARRANGE IT, It makes pauses.)

The scholars and [B][U]reknowned[/U][/B] ([B]renowned[/B]) people of past who understood the true meaning of life and went in achieving the real goal of life. The greatest example that lies infront of us is of our beloved prophet MUHAMMAD (p.b.u.h).who knowing all things spent his whole life in awakening the true sipirit of life in the hearts and minds of the people. For him the success lied in making oneself able to achieve the objective of life. [B](And that objective is to know SELF)
[/B]
The world being materialistic is of no use to man. M[B]an should see deep inside himself and explore his innerself and make himself and his loved ones know the real destiny[/B] (Three times SELF and AND are used in one sentence, avoid repetition.). [B]so they could not make themselves and [B][B]thier[/B][/B] [B](their)[/B] creator proud of themselves.[/B] (Ye line maza nhn ker rahy.)

fiza mehar Tuesday, July 10, 2012 12:51 AM

Any great plan or big dream cannot be achieved overnight.One should not expect to build something great ("Rome") in a short period of time(single day),Rome was in the long past a marshy tract of land,It grew up not overnight by the magic of Aladdin’s wonder lamp, but by steady and strenuous efforts.

In world all Scientific inventions ,discoveries by the famous scientist like ISAAC NEWTON, EINSTEIN, AL BRUNEI, JABBER BIN HAYAN were not achieved by the struggle of one day, Behind all great discoveries there were years of devotion and patient work of the scientist

If anyone wants to do some brilliant work in the world he/she need full devotion, concentration and to be consistent with time.because the Goals/aims become easy to achieve through step by step approach.

usman khalid Tuesday, July 10, 2012 09:32 AM

[QUOTE=zuhaib ahmed;451686][B][SIZE="2"][COLOR="Black"][SIZE="3"]How to write an expansion of idea.

1 [B].[/B] Explain the meaning of proverb or quotation in simple words. And, extract out its central idea.
2[B]. [/B]Illustrate the meaning with suitable examples.
3[B].[/B] Conclude the paragraph with an apposite message.


[/SIZE][/COLOR]

Expansion must be in flow and its paragraphs must be joined like beans of Rosary.
There should be 250-300 words.
Avoid repetitions of vocabulary and ideas.


Read two expansions of mine. [/SIZE][/B]



[SIZE="4"][B]Man probes into space but not into himself[/B][/SIZE]


The more time passes the more man goes away of self. He enters into materialistic world and space, and keeps away from spirituality and self. The self which is essence, but it is neglected. Man has discovered atom and stars but has never seen into himself. Self has supernatural secrets to tell, but man is busy with space. He discovers outer world but avoids inner mysteries .

All the Sufi, mystics and wise people said to know "self". They discovered the real quest. The great philosopher Socrates says, " Know thyself."Self tells all things. When one knows self, he knows the nature. However, man is looking at things in world and cosmos and doesn't peep into himself. Rumi Says, "Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself."

The great philosopher and universal poet Moulana Jalaldeen Rumi tried to find God on Cristian Cross; he went at Hindu temples and pagodas, he searched into cave Hira; he went into Kaba and Macca, he looked into vallies and mountains, but God was not into heights and depths. Then, he sought into himself into his heart, and God was present. As Baba Bulleh Shah says, "You run to enter your mosques and temples, but you never entered your own heart."

Man discovers photons but doesn't probe into himself. He tries to live on mars but doesn't want to see life of self. He tries to know where planet Pluto is gone but doesn't want to know where he is derailed. He discovers planets like super-earth but doesn't look for the fact. And, Indeed, man probes into space not into himself.Bulleh Shah says, "We have drowned in the river of Self."

[SIZE="4"][B]The Nearer the Church the Farther From God (Expansion 2012) [/B]
[/SIZE]
Hundreds years of worship are useless without true love. Those who live days and nights in churches, and world dwells in their hearts; God is very far away from them. The only bond which makes bondage between God and Man of God is love. Worship goes futile without love. Those who live in churches, temples and mosques, and love for God is not in their hearts, God is farther from them.

When there was no time, cause, season, theory and reason, there was an existence of love. This entire cosmos is created for love. God is lover, and He loves the lovers not worshipers. The Satan is known as the greatest worshiper of God but God is farther from him. On account of Satan is worshiper not lover. Moulana Jalal Din Rumi says, “Without love, all worship is a burden.” Indeed, those who live in the place of worship, they are not the pious, unless they are lovers of God.


This is not just for Christians but for all. The Nearer the Temple The Farther From Buddha or the Nearer the Mosque The Farther From Allah. The prophet Mohammad PBUH says, “"Worship your Lord as if you see him during worship, and if you cannot do that, then worship as if He sees you " In both conditions, the world doesn't come in one's mind. If one cannot take one condition, then, it is like The Nearer the Church the Farther From God.


All the mystics, Sufi and pious people of the world have given value to love. They believe if God is not present in one's heart, and he prays days and nights; he is an infidel. As Maruf Kerkhi PBUH says, “If you pray and World comes in your mind, then, you prostrate to world.”


[COLOR="DarkRed"][B]There can be some mistakes but you should write like these. I hope you have understood how to write [/B][/COLOR]


[COLOR="DarkRed"][B][U]Moderators, CSPs and seniors you have to check everyone's expansions [/U][/B][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Very well done Zuhaib! However, what I would suggest is to reduce the use of quotations because expansion is supposed to be around 250-300 words and it cannot accomodate around 60-70 words of quotations only. At most, 2 quotations and 2 examples to support the topic or your arguments should be enough.

usman khalid Tuesday, July 10, 2012 09:45 AM

I have coloured some suggested corrections.

[QUOTE=khankhajjak;451713][B]Man probes into space but not into himself[/B]

Man has reached the pinnacles of success while exploring the space around him. The only thing [COLOR="Magenta"]he has [/COLOR]failed into is to see deep inside himself, which is the true essence of his life. He is adding pages to histroy with remarkable streches in the field of science and technology but never [COLOR="Magenta"]tries[/COLOR] to explore himself even for an hour or two. The true success lies in exploring himself [COLOR="magenta"]becuase[/COLOR] it is the only way to know himself that for what he is here?

The scholars and [COLOR="Magenta"]renowned[/COLOR] people of past who understood the true meaning of life and went [COLOR="magenta"]for[/COLOR] achieving the real goal of life. The greatest example that lies infront of us is of our beloved prophet MUHAMMAD [COLOR="magenta"](P.B.U.H).[/COLOR]who knowing all things spent his whole life in awakening the true sipirit of life in the hearts and minds of the people. For him[COLOR="magenta"],[/COLOR] the the success lied in making oneself able to achieve the objective of life.

The world being materialistic is of no use to man. Man should see deep inside [COLOR="magenta"]himself. He should explore his innerself [/COLOR]and make himself and his loved ones know the real destiny. [COLOR="magenta"]so they may not make themselves and thier creator proud of themselves.[/COLOR] [COLOR="DarkOrange"](This sentence is confusing, meaning is not clearly interpreted. You need to better restructre it.)[/COLOR]

dear csps and my elder brothers ......plz pin point my mistakes .and also guide me if i am good at getting the actual meaning of topic....... thanks[/QUOTE]

Try not to intermix different tenses while conveying your point of view. Overall Good effort :)

usman khalid Tuesday, July 10, 2012 10:03 AM

Suggested corrections have been coloured:

[QUOTE=fiza mehar;451794][B][U]Rome was not built in one day[/U][/B]

Any great plan or big dream cannot be achieved overnight[COLOR="magenta"]. One [/COLOR]should not expect to build something great ("Rome") in a short period of time(single day[COLOR="Magenta"]). Rome [/COLOR]was in the long past a marshy tract of land[COLOR="magenta"], It did not grow up[/COLOR] overnight by the magic of Aladdin’s wonder lamp, but by steady and strenuous efforts.

In world all Scientific inventions, discoveries by the famous scientist like [COLOR="magenta"]Issac Newton, Eistein, Alberuni and Jabber Bin Hayan [/COLOR]were not achieved by the struggle of one [COLOR="magenta"]day. [/COLOR]Behind all great [COLOR="magenta"]discoveries,[/COLOR] there [COLOR="magenta"]was[/COLOR] years of devotion and patient work of the [COLOR="magenta"]scientists.[/COLOR]

If anyone wants to do some brilliant work in the [COLOR="magenta"]world,[/COLOR] he/she [COLOR="magenta"]needs [/COLOR]full devotion, concentration and [COLOR="magenta"]consistency [/COLOR]with [COLOR="magenta"]time because[/COLOR] the [COLOR="magenta"]goals[/COLOR]/aims become easy to achieve through step by step approach.[/QUOTE]

Good effort! Just keep on practising and you will improve alot with passage of time.


01:49 PM (GMT +5)

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