Thursday, March 28, 2024
02:37 PM (GMT +5)

Go Back   CSS Forums > CSS Compulsory Subjects > English (Precis & Composition) > Expansion/Paragraph

Reply Share Thread: Submit Thread to Facebook Facebook     Submit Thread to Twitter Twitter     Submit Thread to Google+ Google+    
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1  
Old Friday, May 24, 2013
envisage's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Okara
Posts: 11
Thanks: 11
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
envisage is on a distinguished road
Default @ ultimate csp check my expansion

Is democracy is possible in third world countries

Democracy is possible in third world countries if administration of state work according to rule of law, avoid personalization of politics, restrain dictatorial rule, a media free from political pressure and equal distribution of rights. When state works on democratic grounds nothing can stop to a third world country to become a democratic state.
Personalization of politics by elites is a basic hindrance in the way of democracy. India being second largest democracy in the world gives equal right of vote even to its lowest cast. But Ghandhis and Nehrus hold the political ground. Pakistan face the same problem with political domination of Bhuttos, memons, chuadharys. Bandaranaik, a politically prominent family of Srilanka is another example of personalization of politics.
Dictatorial ruler impedes democracy in third world countries.Four times enforcement of martial Law had caused failure of pure democracy in Pakistan. Poeple are getting aware of their rights day by day. They want democratic government for their states. For instance, After countrywide revolts in Nepal, abolishment of 240 year old king system had converted Nepal into a republic.
Democracy does not prevail when western nations interfere in administration of third world countries. They set their puppets in developing countries to fulfill their own interest. Independence of judiciary and media free from all crisis helps democracy to establish. Democratic incompetency must be tackle by accountability of administrative machinery of state. Hence third world countries can experience democracy without any doubt.
__________________
Make Du'a, Do your Best and Leave the Rest to ALLAH.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to envisage For This Useful Post:
eshaaladan (Friday, May 24, 2013)
  #2  
Old Friday, May 24, 2013
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NA # 113
Posts: 68
Thanks: 286
Thanked 30 Times in 26 Posts
eshaaladan is on a distinguished road
Exclamation need help in the essay “Democracy”, obstacles on the way of, and output etc.

beautiful effort,

its requested to seniors and other aspirants to share their stuff regarding “democracy” in detail.
__________________
The Vision must Be Followed By The Venture, It Is Not Enough To Stare Up The Steps, We Must Step Up The Stairs...!!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old Friday, May 24, 2013
UltimateCSP's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Lost lands
Posts: 354
Thanks: 223
Thanked 322 Times in 213 Posts
UltimateCSP will become famous soon enoughUltimateCSP will become famous soon enough
Default

I am no faculty in expansion. I have just tried to check your expansion to the best of my knowledge. Hope it will be helpful.


Is democracy is possible in third world countries
(Use helping verb one time in the sentence--Is democracy possible in third world countries?)


Democracy is possible in third world countries if administration of a state works according to the rule of law, avoids personalization of politics, restrains dictatorial rule, with a media free from political pressure and ensures equal distribution of rights. When a state works on democratic grounds nothing can stop (to a third world country) it (to become) from becoming a democratic state.


Personalization of politics by elites is a basic hindrance in the way (of) to democracy. India being second largest democracy in the world (weak structure, Better to write, India is the second largest democracy in the world) gives equal right (of) to vote even to its lowest caste. But Ghandhis and Nehrus hold the political ground. Pakistan faces the same problem with political domination of Bhuttos, memons, chuadharys. Bandaranaik, a politically prominent family of Srilanka is another example of personalization (personalization??) of politics.


Dictatorial ruler impedes democracy in third world countries.Four times enforcement of martial Law had caused failure of pure democracy in Pakistan. (Was that the only reason? Better to say, Martial laws were one of the major hurdle in the way to democracy in Pakistan) Poeple are getting aware of their rights day by day. They want democratic government for their states. For instance, After countrywide revolts in Nepal, abolishment of 240 year old king system had converted Nepal into a republic (weak sentence structure. Countrywide revolt had abolished 240 year old monarchy in Nepal) .
(paragraph structure is very weak. A good paragraph should deliver only one idea.)



Democracy does not prevail (when western nations interfere) because of western nations interference in administration of third world countries. They set their puppets in developing countries to fulfill their own interest. Independence of judiciary and media free from all crisis (crisis free media) helps (help) democracy to establish. Democratic incompetency must be tackled by accountability of administrative machinery of state. Hence third world countries can (experience) have democracy without any doubt.(weak sentence. Hence we can claim without any doubt that third world countries can have democracy)




Overall, good attempt
In fact the most important thing is you finally attempted. Keep on trying. Good Luck...
__________________
At a certain point in our lives...our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to UltimateCSP For This Useful Post:
envisage (Friday, May 24, 2013)
  #4  
Old Friday, May 24, 2013
Bilal Hassan's Avatar
43rd CTP (PAS)
Medal of Appreciation: Awarded to appreciate member's contribution on forum. (Academic and professional achievements do not make you eligible for this medal) - Issue reason: CSP Medal: Awarded to those Members of the forum who are serving CSP Officers - Issue reason: CE 2014 - Merit 13
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Deputy Commissioner Hunza Nagar
Posts: 1,090
Thanks: 195
Thanked 1,551 Times in 674 Posts
Bilal Hassan is a splendid one to beholdBilal Hassan is a splendid one to beholdBilal Hassan is a splendid one to beholdBilal Hassan is a splendid one to beholdBilal Hassan is a splendid one to beholdBilal Hassan is a splendid one to behold
Default @ultimate CSP

Ultimate CSP, kindly check my expansions as well in the following thread, it would be so nice of you.....
http://www.cssforum.com.pk/css-compu...st-papers.html
__________________
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
But when love is one sided, holding off is no more an option.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bilal Hassan For This Useful Post:
eshaaladan (Monday, May 27, 2013)
  #5  
Old Tuesday, June 04, 2013
envisage's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Okara
Posts: 11
Thanks: 11
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
envisage is on a distinguished road
Default Poverty is the Mother of crimes

Poverty is the Mother of crimes

Man is slave of his own circumstances. No man is born as a criminal. Many varying dwindling situations leads to financial crisis compel a man to become a criminal. Particularly, it is poverty which gives birth to a crime. Poverty propels a man to fulfil his requirements by unfair means. Poverty flourishes a criminal mind in innocent person. Man who can earn enough to bring up his family can never engage with any criminal act. On the other hand, a starving person who has been grinded by privation ultimately turns out to a dacoit.
Privation makes a man mean and selfish. Man in distress never restrains himself from killing someone for money. Women sell their bodies to save their children from the jaws of death. History is galore with so many examples that men and women commit crimes just because of pennilessness. A starving poor person does not care about religion and any other moral value. Swami vivekanada was of the opinion that religion was not meant for the hungry bodies. A prosper person who has enough to eat and spent, cared well about the religion. Rules and values of religion fell flat upon hungry peoples. They can go beyond limits of morality to get rid of their hunger. So, poverty made a person prey to social evils.
People are still living below poverty line all over the world. Under developed and developing countries have high crime rate as compared to developed countries. In case of Pakistan 64 million people living below poverty line, makes 22.31% of total population. Poverty rate of Pakistan is 37.5% which is gradually increases due to poor management of the country. Social crimes is common in Pakistan. Economical reforms and practical Implementation are required to cope up with poverty. Poverty is one of the basic social problem which give rise too many crimes in society.
Poverty is root cause of frustration and acute distress for man. Poverty gives disappointment and make a person hopeless in life. It also leads to suicidal attempts. Poverty can be eliminated by appropriate measures. Crime rate is directly related to poverty in societies. If government wants to eliminate crimes out of its bounds they must ensures prosperity to its citizens. Prosperity brings peace and harmony among people eventually decline crime rate. Ultimate increases in crimes observe with failure in provision of applicable measures to exterminate poverty.
__________________
Make Du'a, Do your Best and Leave the Rest to ALLAH.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old Wednesday, June 05, 2013
UltimateCSP's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Lost lands
Posts: 354
Thanks: 223
Thanked 322 Times in 213 Posts
UltimateCSP will become famous soon enoughUltimateCSP will become famous soon enough
Default

Poverty is the Mother of crimes

Man is slave of his own circumstances. No man is born as a criminal. Many varying dwindling situations leads (lead) to financial crisis (which) compel a man to become a criminal. Particularly, it is poverty which gives birth to a crime. Poverty propels a man to fulfill his requirements by unfair means. Poverty flourishes (or nourishes) a criminal mind in an innocent person. A Man who can earn enough to bring up his family can never engage with any criminal act.(Really? what about thousands of millionaire criminals??) On the other hand, a starving person who has been grinded by privation ultimately turns out to a dacoit.
Privation makes a man mean and selfish. Man in distress never restrains himself from killing someone for money.(Never? It is very hard for a distressed man to restrain himself from killing someone for money.) Women sell their bodies to save their children from the jaws of death. History is galore with so many examples that men and women committed crimes just because of pennilessness. A starving poor person does not care about religion and any other moral value. Swami vivekanada was of the opinion that religion was not meant for the hungry bodies. A prosper person who has enough to eat and spent, cared (cares) well about the religion. Rules and values of religion fell flat upon hungry peoples (people). They can go beyond limits of morality to get rid of their hunger. So, poverty made (makes) a person prey to social evils.
People are still living below poverty line all over the world. Under-developed and developing countries have high crime rates as compared (compare) to developed countries. In case of Pakistan 64 million people living below poverty line, makes (make) 22.31% of total population. Poverty rate of Pakistan is 37.5% which is gradually increases (increasing) due to poor management of the country. Social crimes is (are) common in Pakistan. Economical reforms and practical Implementation are required to cope up with poverty. Poverty is one of the basic social problem which gives rise too (to) many crimes in society. (Irrelevant Paragraph. It has nothing to do with this expansion.)
Poverty is root cause of frustration and acute distress for man. Poverty gives disappointment and makes a person hopeless in life. It also leads to suicidal attempts. (only attempts? It also leads to suicides.) Poverty can be eliminated (or reduced) by appropriate measures. Crime rate is directly related to poverty rate in societies. If a government wants to eliminate crimes out of its bounds they must ensures (it have to ensure) prosperity to (for) its citizens. Prosperity brings peace and harmony among people and eventually declines crime rate. Ultimate increases in crimes observe with failure in provision of applicable measures to exterminate poverty.(This sentence is not making sense..)
__________________
At a certain point in our lives...our lives become controlled by fate. That's the world's greatest lie.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old Saturday, August 03, 2013
The Shah Ends's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 498
Thanks: 307
Thanked 405 Times in 273 Posts
The Shah Ends will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by UltimateCSP View Post
Poverty is the Mother of crimes

Man is (the) slave of his own circumstances. No man is born as a criminal. Many varying dwindling situations leads (lead) to financial crisis (which) compel(compels) a man to become a criminal. Particularly, it is poverty which gives birth to a crime. Poverty propels a man to fulfill his requirements by unfair means. Poverty flourishes (or nourishes) a criminal mind in an innocent person. A (A) man who can earn enough to bring up his family can never engage with any criminal act.(Really? what about thousands of millionaire criminals??) On the other hand, a starving person who has been grinded by privation ultimately turns out to a dacoit(turns out to be a dacoit/turns into a dacoit.).
Privation makes a man mean and selfish. Man in distress never restrains himself from killing someone for money.(Never? It is very hard for a distressed man to restrain himself from killing someone for money.) (It is difficult for a man in distress to restrain himself from killing someone for money) Women sell their bodies to save their children from the jaws of death. History is galore with so many examples that men and women committed crimes just because of pennilessness. A starving poor person does not care about (the) religion and any other moral value. Swami vivekanada was of the opinion that religion was not meant for the hungry bodies. A prosper person who has enough to eat and spent(spend), cared (cares) well about the religion. Rules and values of religion fell flat upon hungry peoples (people). They can go beyond (the) limits of morality to get rid of(get rid?? no one can get rid of hunger till death, we can only satisfy our hunger/can satisfy) their hunger. So, poverty made (makes) a person prey to social evils.
People are still living below (the) poverty line all over the world. Under-developed and developing countries have high crime rates[/B] as compared (compare) to developed countries. In case of Pakistan 64 million people living below poverty line, makes (make) 22.31% of (the) total population.(The) Poverty rate of Pakistan is 37.5% which is gradually increases (increasing) due to poor management of the country. Social crimes is (are) common in Pakistan. Economical reforms and practical Implementation are required to cope up with poverty. Poverty is one of the basic social problem which gives rise too (to) many crimes in society. (Irrelevant Paragraph. It has nothing to do with this expansion.)
Poverty is (the) root cause of frustration and acute distress for (a) man. Poverty gives disappointment and makes a person hopeless in life. It also leads to suicidal attempts. (only attempts? It also leads to suicides.) Poverty can be eliminated (or reduced) by appropriate measures. Crime rate is directly related to (the) poverty rate in societies. If a government wants to eliminate crimes out of its bounds they must ensures (it have to ensure) (it has to ensure) prosperity to (for) its citizens. Prosperity brings peace and harmony among people and eventually declines crime rate. Ultimate increases in crimes observe with failure in provision of applicable measures to exterminate poverty.(This sentence is not making sense..)
Man is (the) slave of his own circumstances. No man is born as a criminal. Many varying dwindling situations leads (lead) to financial crisis (which) compel(compels) a man to become a criminal. Particularly, it is poverty which gives birth to a crime. Poverty propels a man to fulfill his requirements by unfair means. Poverty flourishes (or nourishes) a criminal mind in an innocent person. A (A) man who can earn enough to bring up his family can never engage with any criminal act.(Really? what about thousands of millionaire criminals??) On the other hand, a starving person who has been grinded by privation ultimately turns out to a dacoit(turns out to be a dacoit/turns into a dacoit.).
Privation makes a man mean and selfish. Man in distress never restrains himself from killing someone for money.(Never? It is very hard for a distressed man to restrain himself from killing someone for money.) (It is difficult for a man in distress to restrain himself from killing someone for money) Women sell their bodies to save their children from the jaws of death. History is galore with so many examples that men and women committed crimes just because of pennilessness. A starving poor person does not care about (the) religion and any other moral value. Swami vivekanada was of the opinion that religion was not meant for the hungry bodies. A prosper person who has enough to eat and spent(spend), cared (cares) well about the religion. Rules and values of religion fell flat upon hungry peoples (people). They can go beyond (the) limits of morality to get rid of(get rid?? no one can get rid of hunger till death, we can only satisfy our hunger/can satisfy) their hunger. So, poverty made (makes) a person prey to social evils.
People are still living below (the) poverty line all over the world. Under-developed and developing countries have high crime rates[/B] as compared (compare) to developed countries. In case of Pakistan 64 million people living below poverty line, makes (make) 22.31% of (the) total population.(The) Poverty rate of Pakistan is 37.5% which is gradually increases (increasing) due to poor management of the country. Social crimes is (are) common in Pakistan. Economical reforms and practical Implementation are required to cope up with poverty. Poverty is one of the basic social problem which gives rise too (to) many crimes in society. (Irrelevant Paragraph. It has nothing to do with this expansion.)
Poverty is (the) root cause of frustration and acute distress for (a) man. Poverty gives disappointment and makes a person hopeless in life. It also leads to suicidal attempts. (only attempts? It also leads to suicides.) Poverty can be eliminated (or reduced) by appropriate measures. Crime rate is directly related to (the) poverty rate in societies. If a government wants to eliminate crimes out of its bounds they must ensures (it have to ensure) (it has to ensure) prosperity to (for) its citizens. Prosperity brings peace and harmony among people and eventually declines crime rate. Ultimate increases in crimes observe with failure in provision of applicable measures to exterminate poverty.(This sentence is not making sense..)
[/QUOTE]

I have further pointed out the mistakes, using blue colour, brother my first suggestion would be, you should have read after what you have written, this will surely make a sense of getting your own mistakes, because i have seen, your mistakes were not so difficult to be pointed out, you have to use Articles where necessary, a lot of grammatical mistakes, you have to be good in grammer first.... and remember, whenever you write something just read it then, to point out your mistakes....
__________________
"Whomever Allah guides, no one can misguide, and whomever Allah misguides, no one can guide." Al-Qura'an.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Respected seniors plz check my expansion cupid Expansion/Paragraph 5 Monday, June 04, 2012 01:18 AM
(Expansion 2012) Please check zuhaib ahmed Expansion/Paragraph 14 Thursday, March 15, 2012 11:50 AM
kindly check my expansion hadia Khan Expansion/Paragraph 2 Sunday, September 25, 2011 10:24 AM
plz check my expansion ufaq.memon Expansion/Paragraph 8 Monday, February 14, 2011 06:04 PM
seniors please check my expansion ufaq.memon Expansion/Paragraph 1 Tuesday, November 17, 2009 06:53 PM


CSS Forum on Facebook Follow CSS Forum on Twitter

Disclaimer: All messages made available as part of this discussion group (including any bulletin boards and chat rooms) and any opinions, advice, statements or other information contained in any messages posted or transmitted by any third party are the responsibility of the author of that message and not of CSSForum.com.pk (unless CSSForum.com.pk is specifically identified as the author of the message). The fact that a particular message is posted on or transmitted using this web site does not mean that CSSForum has endorsed that message in any way or verified the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any message. We encourage visitors to the forum to report any objectionable message in site feedback. This forum is not monitored 24/7.

Sponsors: ArgusVision   vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.