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  #1  
Old Sunday, November 30, 2014
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Default Need Reviews

AssalamOalikum all!,
I need you to review this piece of writing for me.
I shall be really grateful for useful comments.


Watches: Necessity or Style
Before I begin to express my thoughts on this topic, I would like to share with you that I love watches. In fact the only accessory I never forget is my wrist watch whether I am indoor or going out. I must admit this straightaway that I am not among the wise spenders of time but I sure hope to become one someday; hopefully in near future!
Let us embark on the real topic. Time is an infinite entity, ignorant of our use of it. You will run of it whether you use it or not. A watch cannot help you imprison it but what it can do is to make you aware of it. It can remind you that time is passing and you better use it to your benefit. but what it really means when you wear a watch? Does it mean that you care about time and want to use it effectively or should it just be a stylish accessory? Wearing a watch certainly represents one’s care for time. It shows one’s desire to know what time of day is it?
Some things in life are such that you only realize their worth after having used them. Those things may not top the list of your necessities but once you get to know how useful they are, you never want to lose them. Watch is one of those things. When you do not wear a watch, you do not miss it. But when you start wearing a watch, you unknowingly begin to time your activities. Why, because now it is easy for you to find out time just by looking at your wrist. Gradually you come to know the rhythm of your actions by knowing the length of time they need. This in the long run can make you improve your performance, like students are advised to keep track of their academic activities so they can do well in examinations.
Islam asks us to discipline our life by praying five times a day after specific intervals. Your wrist watch can remind you when it is time to pray and thus helps you with performing this sacred task on time.
Punctuality: a great moral value, preached by our elders, forced at us in our schools and workplaces. Wearing a watch will definitely help you with being punctual. Every natural phenomenon takes place at its fixed time. The sun rises and sets every day at a specific time, not a minute sooner, not a minute later. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if it (sun) rose a few minutes later or a few hours earlier!
In addition to being useful tools, a wrist watch can also save your day by being a stylish accessory. Now the benefits will be twofold, utility and charm. Nowadays, a huge variety of wrist watches is available to choose from, ranging from simple strapped ones to most eloquently bejeweled ones. You can pick anything that matches your personality and mood. Watches can prove to be a useful part of your life in addition to complimenting your personality with style.
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  #2  
Old Sunday, November 30, 2014
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Wasalam Bro

I would appreciate your great writing. It was up to the mark, however bro there is always some room for improvement. Try adding more about style in our society and how a wrist watch can be a necessity.
Anyway 7.5/10
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  #3  
Old Tuesday, December 02, 2014
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W.Salam! Please refer to my inline comments & corrections. Let's see what others have to say as I am not an expert either. But, in my opinion, you need to brush-up the usage of prepositions & slightly improve sentence structure. Rest, your English is too good.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aayman View Post
AssalamOalikum all!,
I need you to review this piece of writing for me.
I shall be really grateful for useful comments.


Watches: Necessity or Style
Before I begin to express my thoughts on this topic, I would like to share with you that I love watches. In fact the only accessory I never forget is my wrist watch whether I am indoor or going out. I must admit this straightaway that I am not among the wise spenders of time but I sure hope to become one someday; hopefully in near future!
Let us embark on the real topic. Time is an infinite entity, ignorant of our use of it. You will run (out) of it whether you use it or not. A watch cannot help you imprison it but what it can do is to make you aware of it (seems dis-balanced). It can remind you that time is passing and you better use it to your benefit. but what (does) it really means when you wear a watch? Does it mean that you care about time and want to use it effectively or should it just be a stylish accessory? Wearing a watch certainly represents one’s care for time. It shows one’s desire to know what time of day is it ? (it is) (No need for the question mark)
Some things in life are such that you only realize their worth after having used them. Those things may not top the list of your necessities but once you get to know how useful they are, you never want to lose them. Watch is one of those things. When you do not wear a watch, you do not miss it. But when you start wearing a watch, you unknowingly begin to time your activities. Why, because now it is easy for you to find out time just by looking at your wrist. Gradually you come to know the rhythm of your actions by knowing the length of time they need. This, in the long run, can make you improve your performance, like students are advised to keep track of their academic activities so they can do well in examinations.
Islam asks us to discipline our life by praying five times a day after specific intervals. Your wrist watch can remind you when it is time to pray and thus helps you with performing this sacred task on time.
Punctuality: a great moral value, preached by our elders, forced at us in our schools and workplaces. Wearing a watch will definitely help you with being punctual. Every natural phenomenon takes place at its fixed time. The sun rises and sets every day at a specific time, not a minute sooner, not a minute later. Imagine the chaos that would ensue if it (sun) rose([COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]in my opinion, it should be "rises or simply rise"[/COLOR]) a few minutes later or a few hours earlier!
In addition to being a useful tools, a wrist watch can also save your day by being a stylish accessory. Now the benefits will be twofold, utility and charm. Nowadays, a huge variety of wrist watches is available to choose from, ranging from simple strapped ones to most eloquently bejeweled ones. You can pick anything that matches your personality and mood. Watches can prove to be a useful part of your life in addition to complimenting your personality with style.
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  #4  
Old Wednesday, December 03, 2014
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@Sarrial Banda: Thank you so much for taking the time out to read my work and your comments
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