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#1
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Seniors plz check the precis form R.Dhillon's book.
*Original text is in the picture attached.
Total words: 262 Solved in words: 87 "Mass education system lays more stress upon teaching and seems to be less concerned about the actual learning. None of the efforts are made to provoke individual thought process. Resultantly, the forcibly imposed rigid disciplinary routine; often makes a child stubborn.In such scenario external checks might control the behavoural practices but, it is not helpful for the character building. Educational reforms based upon the concepts of self control and stress managemnet, at universal level may concluded as highly effective even for the individuals, lacking the mentle keenness. But, all this is possible by focusing upon the factor of individual learning" Title: "Harnessing the individual thinking" |
#2
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Keep in mind that I'm also an aspirant just like you and I'm giving my opinion for my own practice. SoI what I say isn't nenecessarily right.
You've got decent command on language, but there are somesome issues with the content which I'd like to highlight. "Mass education system lays more stress upon teaching and <seems to be less concerned> about the actual learning. "seems to be" ? The passage says too much stress" is" laid < None of the efforts >are made to provoke individual thought process. Improper expression in my view You can say No effort, simple is better < Resultantly,> the forcibly imposed rigid disciplinary routine; often makes a child< stubborn>. Resultantly doesn't relate to the previous sentence and I don't remeAmber if it is even a proper word. Plz consult dictionary. The passage has not referred to the child being stubborn anywhere. Mischievous is something else In such scenario external checks might control the <behavoural> practices but, it is not helpful for the character building. Spell check! Don't use the definite article before character building Educational reforms based upon the concepts of< self control and stress managemnet>, at universal level may concluded as highly effective even for the individuals, lacking the mentle keenness. I have inferred from the passage that individual attention shoUlf be given to each pupil just like individual attention is given in special education or infants for eexample. It didn't ask to include special children in reforms. *may be concluded But, all this is possible by focusing upon the factor of individual learning" The passage focuses on three main defects , you could have followed that approach. U have missed one main defect where it mentions that the individual is sacrificed to the system. That was a very important point and important points should be explicitly stated in your precis. Don't try for brevity at the cost of clarity and dont use complicated expressions; it reflects entangled thinking. |
#3
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Kindly tell me any link on which i posted my solved prices on regular basis. so that,seniors check it & find out mistakes.
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