Dear Dr sb,

I think lot has been done to ur Precis to make it right one.
I will only suggest you the right heading as if heading goes wrong the body text is of no use......I hope u agree with this...
If I were the exmainer of ur precis in CSS exam.....I would have rated this piece of writing as not aligned with its heading. Actually doctor sb ...the piece of text that u have chosen for precis is composed of two altogether different subjects.......I mean there is no comparison of a WAR with HARSH WEATHER........People genarally dont live in harsh weather but unfortunately they are required to face the war as par and parcel of their life ......to srvive.

I think u must bring the sentences related to WAR at the begining of paragraph and then somehow(((I dont no how dr sb )...for sake of precis just lik it with harsh weather as well.

For me the heading could be..

The impact of WAR & Weather on human civilization.

Regards to all

Dear Daud,
first of thanks for the comments.Dear,you may be right ,but the question is not the impact of war & weather on human. Here the actual purpose of the passege is to show that man has advanced and is advancing with a good pace.All miseries that are brought by weather can be coped successfully by man.Here he incited the acquisition of atomic power that can melt the ice in ice shelves and ice caps.
In the second paragraph He talks about the present day diseases.You neglected mentioning this in your title.Here he is optimist that one day man will overcome the health problems by inventing the cure of different life threatening diseases.
The third paragraph is about war.Here the writer means that we have advanced so much that a single war could be precarious to the very existence of human kind.So here he proposes the solution , that all the states should form a single government or federation which punishes those states that breach peace.

Regards

My suggestions:

Sentence No.1:
For some reason, I also can not digest the word 'unfit'. May be because i've never heard unfit being used with weather. I would recommend the usage of word adverse or unfavourable.

Sentence No. 2:
It seems completely disjointed with the first sentence. Besides it repeats ideas. You could have slashed the words "and cause irritations".

Sentence No. 3:
Trouble farmers... farmers only?? It should be agriculture or you should generalize the statement.

Sentence No. 4:
Arctics (or Arctic Circles)... North and South poles... Arctics already conveyed the idea of poles. You could have slashed these words.

Sentence No. 5:
inordinatenesses => This is such a long word. Honestly speaking, I do not even remember the meaning of this word. Use simpler ones. Active voice always carries the idea smoothly. Avoid passive.

Sentence No. 6:
"Large number of resources"... how about extensive/huge resources? The word 'medication' is inapplicable. Please look up again.

Sentence No. 7:
"Many present rife illnesses".. how about "many illnesses rife today". Your phrase seems overstuffed. "future generation"... This should have been plural.

Sentence No. 8:
"must be get rid of"... wrong tense. That's why I was recommending active voice. How about "we must get rid of wars" instead.

"civilization dilapidation" ... it should be "dilapidation of civilizations".

Sentence No. 9:
"Only formation of one world government is the solution to penalize evil nations." It does not make sense. I don't understand what solution are you talking about? Is it penalizing evil nations or halting wars?

Sentence No. 10:
construction, not destruction, (avoid redundancy)

limitless progress... use 'unlimited' if you must. But I do not know if unlimited progress is really sensible.

Feel free to discuss my suggestions. All the best.

Regards,

__________________
"The race is not over because I haven't won yet."

Adil Memon
Police Service of Pakistan (P.S.P)
37th Common Training Program

Unfavorable atmospheric conditions pose threat to mankind. Rainstorms, floods, sandstorms and snowfalls bring sufferings for human beings. Both droughts and floods are harmful to agriculture. Adverse climatic conditions of Cold Arctics and hot tropical regions make these domains inhabitable. One day these natural excesses will be contained with the help of nuclear energy. Recent medical progress is a great achievement. Huge amount of resources will be used for medication purposes. Many illnesses rife today will be unknown to our future generations. To divert resources for progress, wars must be get rid of; otherwise dilapidation of civilization is obvious.Presumably formation of global government seems to be the only solution of world peace.This idea put together with the efforts for construction can make mankind achieve a lot of progress.

All CSPs plz check my precis


Here goes my precis.



Thanks and a lot of respect

Great effort sir, I am inspired and following is my inspiration.

Title: Bedouin life/Nomadic Life
(However, your title is much better doc)

Precis:

Arabia is largely a dry hot sandy desert. Oasis are scarcely scattered all over the place. The Arabic nomads shift through these oasis for water and food for themselves and their animals. The nomads own the best horses and treat them like their family members. But their camels are more useful as they carry more load and provide better range in the desert.

__________________
Police Service of Pakistan (PSP)
39th Common Training Program

@Dr Atif Rana
Title is perfect.Precis is also good.Few things,word count should be in the range of 95-105 but you have also managed well.
First two sentence can be merged into one to reduce the word count.
Third sentence can also be improved.
Arabs living in desert.................this sentence needs improvement.
They keep highbred horses ..............high breed horses,high quality horses ,fine horses
They love and care them..............they love and care for them.
Emerg.......emerge

Overall a good effort.

Other Titles can be

Life in an Arabian Desert
Desert Dwellers of Arabia
Nomadic Arabs
Life in Arabian Peninsula
Bedouins of Arabia

Arabia is largely a hot,sandy and dry desert.Sparsely located springs give rise to oasis which are cool and shady.Oasis have numerous variety of plants like plams ,dates and figs.Bedouins live in tents and are on the move all year round,they migrate from oasis to oasis in search of food,water and fodder for their livestock.Arab use horses and camels for transport in the desert.They feel pride in horse riding and own the best breeds of horses in the world.But their camels are more useful for carrying heavy loads and for its incredible endurance in desert.(103)

@Floydian
A very good effort but its too short,add 2-3 sentense to make it complete.


Lets see what other have to say.

Dear dr.atifrana,

You have made a brilliant attempt. It seems quite concise and to the point. The title is also appropriate.
Keep it up.

__________________
Long Live my Homeland

Quote:

@Dr Atif Rana Title is perfect.Precis is also good.Few things,word count should be in the range of 95-105 but you have also managed well.

Thanks , I will try to improve this art.

.

agreed

agree
.

agreed
But, I think " highbred" is also appropriate here.

yes, I agree.

Quote:

Overall a good effort.

Thank you very much for the appreciation and taking your precious time out of your busy life for the aspirants.

Regards and bundle of thanks

Arif Rao,
Thank you Sir, BTW where are you , It has been a long time since you are out of of scene.

regards

Afrms has already done the job though, anyhow
The Arabis is made of sand n rock,,,,y not made up of sand and rock,,,( afrms pls correct me if I being wrong here )
Camel carries goods ,,,, and not good,, u missed ‘ s ‘ ,,, ur last sentence
Dear bo atif y dnt u use white sheets for writing as u will be provided in exam, try writing over plain sheets

__________________
Dr. Hassan Mabroor