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  #11  
Old Sunday, November 22, 2009
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Mr. New Student, I think its your business to find more flaws and criticism....I have checked many precises to Professor Bokhari, he always appreciate me but what you said, I felt as if you are here to criticise only......ANYWAYS WHAT IS YOUR CREDIBILITY....WOULD U LIKE TO THROW LIGHT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?



THANX
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  #12  
Old Sunday, November 22, 2009
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Default Attention newstudent!

Dear newstudent

I have found your comments and suggestions quite useful, and I request you to comment on my expansion.

Guidance from seniors like you means a lot, and I sure will appreciate if you manage time to guide me.

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  #13  
Old Monday, November 23, 2009
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@theelegant444

Thanks for your comments. I will not comment if you dont like it.

@ Andrew Dufresne

Thanks for your comments too. Its strange to find differnt comments on the same subject.

Regards
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  #14  
Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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Default @ newstudent

Please give comments on my Precise.
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  #15  
Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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@Lahoriate1234

Your precis title looks better. A good try.

Some Suggestions:

1. You said "Though Darwin’s theory is universally accepted, yet it only deals with physical interaction".

However never in the passage this claim "universally acceptable" is made, so avoid statements that are not made in original passage.

2. Passage goes "The psychologist, on the other hand, in his exclusive involvement with the psyche, has overlooked the potential of man’s physical-self and the world outside him. No synthesis has been attempted between the two with the obvious result of the one being sacrificed at the altar of the other."

While you said "No attempt has been made to create relationship between man’s physical-self and his environment."

Brother dont contradict yourself. For example you are saying that universally acceptable darwin's theory is concerned with physical interaction, but in the very next sentence you say that no attempt has been made between physical self and his environment. Avoid that.

3. You said "One of these factors is dominant over the other resulting in a society based on monetary gains"

Brother passage in simple words say that man has not yet synthesized (combined) his views on his physical self and mind. Due to this confusion, economic considerations are now dominating the human's thinking. So no factor (i.e. physical self and mind) is dominant over other as you are saying.

Remaining precis is well written, summarizing nicely. So keep it up. A good try.

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  #16  
Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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@newstudent comments

Your comments are excellent, i have learnt many points, howerever, the title of precise given as "Purpose of life" is been apprciated by you. I am bit confused about it. My mind instructs me to put the title as;

"Many theorists lacked having a holistic approach"

or


"theorists should have a holistic approach to life"

also tell should i use "an holistic" or "a holistic"


please comment.
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Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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@ new student: Some times it is very easy to identify mistakes in what others write, however, very few of us have the spine to expose their own efforts to others to evaluate. You try to discourage "the elegant" again and again. But as far as I know some times you yourself repeat the same kind of mistakes that others do- for example, in your reply to the_elegant u said 'Dont be stereotyped, say what the passage describes, not your own thoughts.' As far as I know the word 'stereotyped' does not fit in this context. Do not mind!
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  #18  
Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabah Hunzai View Post
should i use "an holistic" or "a holistic"
From Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English
Quote:
ho‧lis‧tic
a holistic approach to design

From Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary
Quote:
a holistic approach to life
From yourdictionary.com
Quote:
I was awarded a grant of £ 500 which enabled me to train as a holistic therapist.

By way of contrast, a holistic perspective tended to view clients in terms of potential health.
Regards
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  #19  
Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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@isamohmand

I am open to any kind of critical analysis of my comments. Thanks for pointing out my mistake (although I can explain the use of this word in this context but I wont do that). I myself have made so many mistakes while commenting and I realized it after posting. So I dont mind. Actually I am not a student of english literature and I know my english is below standard. You can observe in my comments that I seldom criticise grammatical mistakes and my focus lies mainly on the logical structure. Besides when i criticise someone, it is never my aim to hurt some one feelings. Here if you post your precis or expansion, it is in your favor to get some new insights, while just appreciation will be of no benefit. That's what critical analysis is all about.

@Sabah Hunzai

Well title of any passage is an open ended question. There is nothing we can call as perfect title. So many titles of the same passage can be made.

I think "a holistic" would sound better.

Regards
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  #20  
Old Tuesday, November 24, 2009
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@Andrew

Can you tell how to quote a part of post. When I try to quote a part of post, whole post is quoted .
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