Dear Seniors, Plz Check my Precis
One great defect of our civilization is that it does not know what to do with its knowledge. Science, as we have seen, has given us powers fit for the gods, yet we use them like small children.
For example, we do not know how to manage our machines. Machines were made to be man's servants; yet he has grown so dependent on them that they are in a fair way to become his masters. Already most men spend most of their lives looking after and waiting upon machines. And the machines are very stern masters. They must be fed with coal, and given petrol to drink, and oil to wash with, and must be kept at the right temperature. And if they do not get their meals when they expect them, they grow sulky and refuse to work, or burst with rage, and blow up, and spread ruin and destruction all round them. So we have to wait upon them very attentively and do all that we can to keep them in a good temper. Already we find it difficult either to work or play without the machines, and a time may come when they rule us altogether, just as we rule the animals. PRECIS: We have learned everything from Science but we don't know its effective utilization. As man had made machines to do his work more effectively but now it looks like that man has became a slave of machines and always be more worried for its maintenance otherwise these machines will not be able to do the work of man. That time is not so far away, when man cannot take even a single step without these machines. TITLE: Man's Future Masters |
[QUOTE=sasas098;168241]
TITLE: Man's Future Masters[/QUOTE] your extraction of gest is good, and there is coherence in you precis which is good for a good attempt. however, just to ask, will it not be more convincing in its tone, if we write it in third person. I read somewhere about this rule. |
[QUOTE=sasas098;168241]One great defect of our civilization is that it does not know what to do with its knowledge. Science, as we have seen, has given us powers fit for the gods, yet we use them like small children.
For example, we do not know how to manage our machines. Machines were made to be man's servants; yet he has grown so dependent on them that they are in a fair way to become his masters. Already most men spend most of their lives looking after and waiting upon machines. And the machines are very stern masters. They must be fed with coal, and given petrol to drink, and oil to wash with, and must be kept at the right temperature. And if they do not get their meals when they expect them, they grow sulky and refuse to work, or burst with rage, and blow up, and spread ruin and destruction all round them. So we have to wait upon them very attentively and do all that we can to keep them in a good temper. Already we find it difficult either to work or play without the machines, and a time may come when they rule us altogether, just as we rule the animals. PRECIS: We have learned everything from Science but we don't know its effective utilization. As man had made machines to do his work more effectively but now it looks like that man has became a slave of machines and always be more worried for its maintenance otherwise these machines will not be able to do the work of man. That time is not so far away, when man cannot take even a single step without these machines. TITLE: Man's Future Masters[/QUOTE] aoa excellent effort:clap.... 3rd person approach is better,as pointed out by Sabah.Regards |
Thanks members for your valuable suggestions and appreciation. I have also read to give a third person touch to your precis but i didnt understand it completely, please suggest me how can i make the tone of this precis according to the standards?
|
One great defect of our civilization is that it does not know what to do with its knowledge. Science, as we have seen, has given us powers fit for the gods, yet we use them like small children.
For example, we do not know how to manage our machines. Machines were made to be man's servants; yet he has grown so dependent on them that they are in a fair way to become his masters. Already most men spend most of their lives looking after and waiting upon machines. And the machines are very stern masters. They must be fed with coal, and given petrol to drink, and oil to wash with, and must be kept at the right temperature. And if they do not get their meals when they expect them, they grow sulky and refuse to work, or burst with rage, and blow up, and spread ruin and destruction all round them. So we have to wait upon them very attentively and do all that we can to keep them in a good temper. Already we find it difficult either to work or play without the machines, and a time may come when they rule us altogether, just as we rule the animals. PRECIS: Dependency on Machine. We don’t know what to do without knowledge. Science has given us powers yet we don’t know how to use these powers. Machines require proper management or maintenance and to get fed up. If don’t do they refuse to work and cause destruction. We became so dependent on machine that we don’t feel comfortable do anything without them. In the course of time they may become our master and rule us. |
[QUOTE=Qurban Ali Qureshi;1066668]One great defect of our civilization is that it does not know what to do with its knowledge. Science, as we have seen, has given us powers fit for the gods, yet we use them like small children.
For example, we do not know how to manage our machines. Machines were made to be man's servants; yet he has grown so dependent on them that they are in a fair way to become his masters. Already most men spend most of their lives looking after and waiting upon machines. And the machines are very stern masters. They must be fed with coal, and given petrol to drink, and oil to wash with, and must be kept at the right temperature. And if they do not get their meals when they expect them, they grow sulky and refuse to work, or burst with rage, and blow up, and spread ruin and destruction all round them. So we have to wait upon them very attentively and do all that we can to keep them in a good temper. Already we find it difficult either to work or play without the machines, and a time may come when they rule us altogether, just as we rule the animals. PRECIS: Dependency on Machine. We don’t know what to do without knowledge. Science has given us powers yet we don’t know how to use these powers. Machines require proper management or maintenance and to get fed up. If don’t do they refuse to work and cause destruction. We became so dependent on machine that we don’t feel comfortable do anything without them. In the course of time they may become our master and rule us.[/QUOTE] My attempt, without the use of first person. The contemporary civilization does not know how to get benefit from knowledge and science. Machines are meant to serve humans. However, the opposite is becoming a reality. Machines need good maintenance otherwise, they do not work. Due to increased dependence of man on machines, machines might rule the humans in future. |
[QUOTE=Communist;1066671]My attempt, without the use of first person.
The contemporary civilization does not know how to get benefit from knowledge and science. Machines are meant to serve humans. However, the opposite is becoming a reality. Machines need good maintenance otherwise, they do not work. Due to increased dependence of man on machines, machines might rule the humans in future.[/QUOTE] You have skipped few things. 1- Paragraph is of 205 words. You should make a precis of 205/3 =69 or 70. 2- Your précis contains 51 words. 3- You have skipped some points of the paragraph for example, science has given us powers to become master we don't use them in proper manner, and machines need to get fed up etc. Also Author is not taking about contemporary civilization. He is taking generally. [B]My Prices is:[/B] [B][I]PRECIS: Dependency on Machine.[/I][/B] [I]We don’t know what to do with knowledge. Science has given us powers, yet we don’t know how to use them. Machines require proper management or maintenance and to get fed up. If we don’t do they refuse to work and cause destruction. We became so dependent on machine that we don’t feel comfortable to do anything without them. In the course of time they may become our master and rule us.[/I] [B]Do you have any suggestion for me?[/B] |
[QUOTE=Communist;1066671]My attempt, without the use of first person.
The contemporary civilization does not know how to get benefit from knowledge and science. Machines are meant to serve humans. However, the opposite is becoming a reality. Machines need good maintenance otherwise, they do not work. Due to increased dependence of man on machines, machines might rule the humans in future.[/QUOTE] You an post your precis and any piece of writing to get assess. [url]http://new.onetutor.net/study/[/url] |
[QUOTE=Qurban Ali Qureshi;1066679]You have skipped few things.
1- Paragraph is of 205 words. You should make a precis of 205/3 =69 or 70. 2- Your précis contains 51 words. 3- You have skipped some points of the paragraph for example, science has given us powers to become master we don't use them in proper manner, and machines need to get fed up etc. Also Author is not taking about contemporary civilization. He is taking generally. [B]My Prices is:[/B] [B][I]PRECIS: Dependency on Machine.[/I][/B] [I]We don’t know what to do with knowledge. Science has given us powers, yet we don’t know how to use them. Machines require proper management or maintenance and to get fed up. If we don’t do they refuse to work and cause destruction. We became so dependent on machine that we don’t feel comfortable to do anything without them. In the course of time they may become our master and rule us.[/I] [B]Do you have any suggestion for me?[/B][/QUOTE] Brother, since you are asking for suggestions so, here is my detailed analysis. 1. Yes, you are right my word count is less because I miscounted total words. However, increasing word count is not an issue but decreasing is. 2. I don’t think have skipped important points. For instance, the sentence, “We became so dependent on machine that we don’t feel comfortable to do anything without them. In the course of time they may become our master and rule us.” is mentioned in précis as “Machines are meant to serve humans. However, the opposite is becoming a reality.” Secondly, the sentence, “Science has given us powers, yet we don’t know how to use them. Machines require proper management or maintenance and to get fed up. If we don’t do they refuse to work and cause destruction.” Has been mentioned in the précis as, “Machines need good maintenance otherwise, they do not work.” 3. Each and every point cannot be mentioned in the précis. One has to generalize things and the write the precis because, this is the objective of writing a précis. 4. The writer is talking about “our civilization”, and our civilization is contemporary or current civilization, it is not Mayan civilization or Roman civilization. 5. VERY IMPORTANT POINT: You have used first person (We) in the précis which is violation of a cardinal rule of writing a précis. Précis should always be written in third person pronoun. 6. One might get passing marks in the précis by compromising on word count but violation of basic rule like use of first person and other structural errors will be heavily penalized. If anything perplexes you, please feel free to mention it. I will love to be corrected. The website you have mentioned, seems good. I will surely be using it. |
[QUOTE=Communist;1066691]Brother, since you are asking for suggestions so, here is my detailed analysis.
1. Yes, you are right my word count is less because I miscounted total words. However, increasing word count is not an issue but decreasing is. 2. I don’t think have skipped important points. For instance, the sentence, “We became so dependent on machine that we don’t feel comfortable to do anything without them. In the course of time they may become our master and rule us.” is mentioned in précis as “Machines are meant to serve humans. However, the opposite is becoming a reality.” Secondly, the sentence, “Science has given us powers, yet we don’t know how to use them. Machines require proper management or maintenance and to get fed up. If we don’t do they refuse to work and cause destruction.” Has been mentioned in the précis as, “Machines need good maintenance otherwise, they do not work.” 3. Each and every point cannot be mentioned in the précis. One has to generalize things and the write the precis because, this is the objective of writing a précis. 4. The writer is talking about “our civilization”, and our civilization is contemporary or current civilization, it is not Mayan civilization or Roman civilization. 5. VERY IMPORTANT POINT: You have used first person (We) in the précis which is violation of a cardinal rule of writing a précis. Précis should always be written in third person pronoun. 6. One might get passing marks in the précis by compromising on word count but violation of basic rule like use of first person and other structural errors will be heavily penalized. If anything perplexes you, please feel free to mention it. I will love to be corrected. The website you have mentioned, seems good. I will surely be using it.[/QUOTE] @Communist I have not read about the use of first person pronoun in the precis that is why I used it. You are right and I agree with you. We should not associate first person pronoun in the precis. We need to keep the same tense of the precis as well. What I judged I mentioned. Thanks |
02:36 AM (GMT +5) |
vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.