check the precis please and make corrections ,if any.
 

Pilgrims’ complaints

THE first reports from Haj pilgrims this year are disturbing. It appears that last year’s scandal taught us no lessons, and if the noises emanating from the official quarters tasked with undertaking the Haj operations are something to go by, we may have another dispute on our hands. A report in Dawn on Saturday indicates that the pilgrims must brace themselves for the same treatment that has been their fate over the last many years. The issue of accommodation was at the centre of the controversy last time, costing the religious affairs’ minister and top bureaucrats their jobs. It caused much embarrassment to the government after the case was taken up by the Supreme Court. Once again, complaints are being heard loud and clear, even though only a fraction of the 180,000 Pakistani Haj pilgrims have landed in Saudi Arabia so far. The unhappy pilgrims say they have been dumped in overcrowded, unclean places not befitting decent living, let alone being worthy of a holy journey such as theirs.

In response, we hear a Haj ministry official talking some sense. He agrees the ministry’s role should be limited to that of a regulator and that the Haj operation should, by and large, be privatised. This is a suggestion that needs supporting evidence with regard to the efficiency of the private sector, but which is deserving of earnest reflection. At the same time, the government still has enough time to ensure a smooth Haj operation this year — for the sake of reputation if nothing else. A government shaken and dented by the Haj scandal only a year ago should have little hope of emerging unscathed by a repeat of the ugly situation this time around. Faced as the government is with so many challenges, bungling Haj operations once again could spell disaster for it.

Precis :
Intensified Haj report for current year shows no lesson from past scandal and if problems were not addressed , these may cause another issue so keeping in view pilgrims should be ready for further problems. Last year's accommodation issue left many concerning jobs at risk and embarrassment in supreme court.Again complaints of 180,000 , a small number yet arising.Worried pilgrims are living in highly unsuitable environment only for Holy Haj.A ministry official proposed to limit the ministry role and privatize the Haj operation and the suggestion needs serious consideration after carefully looking into the efficiency of later.Even now Govt. can facilitate Haj's and save the reputation.If problems remained unresolved , once again reputation can be at stake and Haj operation can call troubles.

[QUOTE=farah khan;361935]Pilgrims’ complaints

Precis :
Intensified Haj report for current year shows no lesson from past scandal and if problems were not addressed , these may cause another issue so keeping in view pilgrims should be ready for further problems. Last year's accommodation issue left many concerning jobs at risk and embarrassment in supreme court.Again complaints of 180,000 , a small number yet arising.Worried pilgrims are living in highly unsuitable environment only for Holy Haj.A ministry official proposed to limit the ministry role and privatize the Haj operation and the suggestion needs serious consideration after carefully looking into the efficiency of later.Even now Govt. can facilitate Haj's and save the reputation.If problems remained unresolved , once again reputation can be at stake and Haj operation can call troubles.[/QUOTE]


Don't you think it exceeds 1/3 of original passage... :thinking:thinking

ummmm...
 

[QUOTE=Afshan Choudary;377632]Don't you think it exceeds 1/3 of original passage... :thinking:thinking[/QUOTE]

I agree with afshan. Not to discourage or offend you, i did not 'like' it much. Your written 'expression' certainly needs to improve.
Grammer is ok apart from few instances.
Your precis needs to be a bit more concise I think.
You certainly need more practice and seek guidance in capturing the 'gist' of this passage.

To summarise:
1- your written expression needs improvement.
2- length of ur precis was not adequate

Suggestion:
Read more newspaper.
When ur reading any article, try to make a picture of it in ur head,get an idea, as to what you would want to 'read' if you wanted to only skim it and not go into the details.
That always helps me, atleast.

I hope i was able to help. This was my view and it may not be correct in others opinion.

Goodluck and God bless