Precis CSS 2013- Plz evaluate
 

[B]Passage:[/B]

[COLOR="DarkGreen"]Culture, in human societies, has two main aspects; an external, formal aspect and an inner, ideological aspect. The external forms of culture, social or artistic, are merely an organized expression of its inner ideological aspect, and both are an inherent component of a given social structure. They are changed or modified when this structure. They are changed and modified when this structure is changed or modified and because of this organic link they also help and influence such changes in their parent organism. Cultural Problems, therefore, cannot be studied or understood or solved in isolation from social problems, i.e. problems of political and economic relationships. The cultural problems of the underdeveloped countries, therefore, have to be understood and solved in the light of larger perspective, in the context of underlying social problems. Very broadly speaking, these problems are primarily the problems of arrested growth; they originate primarily from long years of imperialist-Colonialist domination and the remnants of a backward outmoded social structure. This should not require much elaboration European Imperialism caught up with the countries of Asia, Africa or Latin America between the sixteenth and nineteenth centuries. Some of them were fairly developed feudal societies with ancient traditions of advanced feudal culture. Others had yet to progress beyond primitive pastoral tribalism. Social and cultural development of them all was frozen at the point of their political subjugation and remained frozen until the coming of political independence. The culture of these ancient feudal societies, in spite of much technical and intellectual excellence, was restricted to a small privileged class and rarely intermingled with the parallel unsophisticated folk culture of the general masses. Primitive tribal culture, in spite of its child like beauty, had little intellectual content. Both feudal and tribal societies living contagiously in the same homelands were constantly engaged in tribal, racial and religious or other feuds with their tribal and feudal rivals. Colonialist – imperialist domination accentuated this dual fragmentation, the vertical division among different tribal and national groups, the horizontal division among different classes within the same tribal or national groups. This is the basic ground structure, social and cultural, bequeathed to the newly liberated countries by their former over lords.[/COLOR]

Word count: 362
[B]Precis:[/B]

The two major aspects of culture, inner and external, form the basis of social structure. Cultural problems arising out of modification in social structure, necessarily needs to be understood in connection with the social problems.
These problems, primarily of arrested growth are rooted in long years of imperialist-colonialist domination and outmoded social structure.
The imperialist colonization led to a freeze on the cultural growth of both fairly developed feudal societies as well as primitive pastoral tribalism – social and economic growth, halted by political subjugation.
Given the constant rivalries between tribal and feudal societies, colonial-imperialist domination further deepened the vertical and horizontal divisions. The newly liberalized countries thus inherited such structure of a restricted and under-developed culture as a legacy of colonialism.

Title:[B] STUNTED CULTURES- A LEGACY OF COLONIALISM[/B]

Word count: 121

Never use phrases from the original passage, it's a fatal mistake.

[QUOTE=saadqureshi;693482]Never use phrases from the original passage, it's a fatal mistake.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, can you please elaborate which phrases and how best to replace them ?

[QUOTE=Sajal Tariq;693480][B]Passage:[/B]

[COLOR="DarkGreen"]Culture, in human societies, has two main aspects; an external, formal aspect and an inner, ideological aspect. The external forms of culture, social or artistic, are merely an organized expression of its inner ideological aspect, and both are an inherent component of a given social structure. They are changed or modified when this structure. They are changed and modified when this structure is changed or modified and because of this organic link they also help and influence such changes in their parent organism. Cultural Problems, therefore, cannot be studied or understood or solved in isolation from social problems, i.e. problems of political and economic relationships. The cultural problems of the underdeveloped countries, therefore, have to be understood and solved in the light of larger perspective, in the context of underlying social problems. Very broadly speaking, these problems are primarily the problems of arrested growth; they originate primarily from long years of imperialist-Colonialist domination and the remnants of a backward outmoded social structure. This should not require much elaboration European Imperialism caught up with the countries of Asia, Africa or Latin America between the sixteenth and nineteenth centuries. Some of them were fairly developed feudal societies with ancient traditions of advanced feudal culture. Others had yet to progress beyond primitive pastoral tribalism. Social and cultural development of them all was frozen at the point of their political subjugation and remained frozen until the coming of political independence. The culture of these ancient feudal societies, in spite of much technical and intellectual excellence, was restricted to a small privileged class and rarely intermingled with the parallel unsophisticated folk culture of the general masses. Primitive tribal culture, in spite of its child like beauty, had little intellectual content. Both feudal and tribal societies living contagiously in the same homelands were constantly engaged in tribal, racial and religious or other feuds with their tribal and feudal rivals. Colonialist – imperialist domination accentuated this dual fragmentation, the vertical division among different tribal and national groups, the horizontal division among different classes within the same tribal or national groups. This is the basic ground structure, social and cultural, bequeathed to the newly liberated countries by their former over lords.[/COLOR]

Word count: 362
[B]Precis:[/B]

The two major aspects of culture, inner and external, form the basis of social structure. Cultural problems arising out of modification in social structure, necessarily needs to be understood in connection with the social problems.
These problems, primarily of arrested growth are rooted in long years of imperialist-colonialist domination and outmoded social structure.
The imperialist colonization led to a freeze on the cultural growth of both fairly developed feudal societies as well as primitive pastoral tribalism – social and economic growth, halted by political subjugation.
Given the constant rivalries between tribal and feudal societies, colonial-imperialist domination further deepened the vertical and horizontal divisions. The newly liberalized countries thus inherited such structure of a restricted and under-developed culture as a legacy of colonialism.

Title:[B] STUNTED CULTURES- A LEGACY OF COLONIALISM[/B]

Word count: 121[/QUOTE]

Replace structure by framework, arrested by low, imperialist-colonialist domination by Colonialism, primitive pastoral tribalism by Tribal societies, rivalries between by rivalries among, vertical and horizontal divisions by divisions, liberalized by freed.

The rest is good.

As a general rule, if you don't know meaning of any phrase then try to guess it's meaning from the context, but if still doesn't help than just ignore it. It's better than using it as it is in the precise.

Seniors and specially those who have passedce 2013 composition paper are requested to check my precis

Human nature has two main aspects an external aspect and inner ideological aspect.the external forms are an organized expression of its structure.they are inherent and controlled components of the society. They have influence on their parental organism. Cultural problems are associated with social problems in the underdeveloped countries. These problems cannot be resolved with it. These problems were generated from the British government in Asia related to surrender growth. They developed societies with old.custom of modern feudal culture. These remained still until political independence. These are involved in tribal, racial and religious rivalries. The vertical and horizontal division emerged by clonialist imperialists. This is the basic structure of new liberal countries by their previous Lords.

Title
Human culture and social relations
Words 123
__________________

[QUOTE=saadqureshi;693533]As a general rule, if you don't know meaning of any phrase then try to guess it's meaning from the context, but if still doesn't help than just ignore it. It's better than using it as it is in the precise.[/QUOTE]
do we have to write three drafts in precis, last one being the final and also mention the important points?

Can someone pls render feedback on my precis?
 

Topic: Culture and society are interrelated.

Culture of a society comprises of an external formal element and an internal ideological element. The external aspect is pragmatic example of the ideology. Cultural and social issues cannot be separated as one influences the other. Therefore, the cultural problems of underdeveloped countries can be solved by keeping their social issues under the consideration. Long era of British colonial rule over Asia, Africa and AMERICA had left an impetus to their culture. Feudal culture was rich while tribal culture was novice. The political and social unrest of these countries emerging from the antagonist relations between feudal and tribal communities curbed their cultural development. This chassis of cultural structure was bestowed unto liberated countries by the former colonialists.

Precis of para given in 2013 paper
 

Original para given in the paper

Culture, in human societies, has two main aspects; an external, formal aspect and an inner, ideological aspect. The external forms of culture, social or artistic, are merely an organized expression of its inner ideological aspect, and both are an inherent component of a given social structure. They are changed or modified when this structure. They are changed and modified when this structure is changed or modified and because of this organic link they also help and influence such changes in their parent organism. Cultural Problems, therefore, cannot be studied or understood or solved in isolation from social problems, i.e. problems of political and economic relationships. The cultural problems of the underdeveloped countries, therefore, have to be understood and solved in the light of larger perspective, in the context of underlying social problems. Very broadly speaking, these problems are primarily the problems of arrested growth; they originate primarily from long years of imperialist-Colonialist domination and the remnants of a backward outmoded social structure. This should not require much elaboration European Imperialism caught up with the countries of Asia, Africa or Latin America between the sixteenth and nineteenth centuries. Some of them were fairly developed feudal societies with ancient traditions of advanced feudal culture. Others had yet to progress beyond primitive pastoral tribalism. Social and cultural development of them all was frozen at the point of their political subjugation and remained frozen until the coming of political independence. The culture of these ancient feudal societies, in spite of much technical and intellectual excellence, was restricted to a small privileged class and rarely intermingled with the parallel unsophisticated folk culture of the general masses. Primitive tribal culture, in spite of its child like beauty, had little intellectual content. Both feudal and tribal societies living contagiously in the same homelands were constantly engaged in tribal, racial and religious or other feuds with their tribal and feudal rivals. Colonialist – imperialist domination accentuated this dual fragmentation, the vertical division among different tribal and national groups, the horizontal division among different classes within the same tribal or national groups. This is the basic ground structure, social and cultural, bequeathed to the newly liberated countries by their former over lords.

My Precis
Suggested title: Outdated Social Structure: Base of Cultural Problems

The cultural problems of underdeveloped countries can be comprehended keeping in view the basic social problems. The reason is that the culture is interlinked with the social structure in such a way that any change in either affects the other. When these countries were subjugated by European colonialists, their social and cultural development became stagnated, and it remained still till they achieved independence. The different feudal and tribal cultures of these countries were constantly engaged in different feuds among and within the groups. The colonialist domination increased this twofold division in these societies. Therefore, these cultural problems are remains of that outdated social structure left behind by the former colonialists and pertain to social development ceased due to prolonged subjugation.