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Please assess my Precis

FEDERAL PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION FOR RECRUITMENT TO POSTS
IN BPS – 17 UNDER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 1980.

ENGLISH (Précis and Composition)

TIME ALLOWED: THREE HOURS MAXIMUM MARKS:100

I. Summarize the following passage, tracing the main arguments and reducing it about one-third of its present length: (20)
The attention we give to terrorism often seems disproportionate to its real importance. Terrorism incidents make superb copy for journalists, but kill and main fewer people than road accidents. Nor is terrorism politically effective. Empires rise and fall according to the real determinants of politics — namely overwhelming force or strong popular support-not according to a bit of mayhem caused by isolated fanatics whom one would take seriously enough to vote for it. Indeed, the very variety of incidents that might be described as “terrorism” has been such as to lead critics to suggest that no single subject for investigation exists at all. Might we not regard terrorism as a kind of minor blotch on the skin of an industrial civilization whose very heart is filled with violent dreams and aspirations. Who would call in the dermatologist when the heart itself is sick?
But popular opinion takes terrorism very serious indeed and popular opinion is probably right. For the significance of terrorism lies not only in the grotesque nastiness of terrorist outrages but also in the moral claims they imply. Terrorism is the most dramatic exemplification of the moral fault of blind willfulness. Terrorism is a solipsistic denial of the obligation of self-control we all must recognize when we live in civilized communities. Certainly the sovereign high road to misunderstanding terrorism is the pseudo scientific project of attempting to discover its causes. Terrorists themselves talk of the frustrations which have supposedly necessitated their actions but to transform these facile justifications into scientific hypotheses is to succumb to the terrorists own fantasies. To kill and main people is a choice people make, and glib invocations of necessity are baseless. Other people living in the same situation see no such necessity at all. Hence their are no “causes” of terrorism, only decision to terrorize. It is a moral phenomenon and only a moral discussion can be adequate to it.

The Truth of Terrorism
Terrorism is a popular issue among the people and the media, though very few suffer from it as compared to other calamities. The empires rise and fall due to politics and not the terrorism. It is hard to find the forces behind each blood shed as researchers generalize them with terrorism. The mere eradication of terrorism cannot relieve us as it is only a tip of the iceberg of the problems faced by the mankind. Those who deem injustice to be the main cause of terrorism are accomplice with culprits in crime. Terrorism is just a bad choice and its cure lies in the moral teachings.
TOTAL WORDS 316
REQUIRED WORDS 105
GIVEN WORDS 110

It's good,although I am not an expert and hope that some intelligent senior also cares to assess your work.
I am going through the same situation,don't know what it takes people to say something when you really want them to!!!

Hello,
I had read your precis last night but wanted some others to contribute but since no one is replying so here I am. And do not worry about people not replying to your posts, it happens. Hold your head up and keep working towards the goal.

Anyways, coming back to your precis, you need to understand the paragraph which I guess you haven't completely. You wrote 'It is hard to find the forces behind each blood shed as researchers generalize them with terrorism.' The original paragraph claims no such thing. It rather means that the forces behind terrorism and very vast and it is a very complicated issue. Then you wrote ' The mere eradication of terrorism cannot relieve us as it is only a tip of the iceberg of the problems faced by the mankind.' It is nowhere in the original paragraph. It never talk about eradication. Similarly, the last 2 lines are not also the gist of the original.

And you have used hard words like mere, calamity, eradication in the precis. You need to use simple words.
In short, it is not a good precis at all. You need to work very hard. And I am not saying to bring you down, just being realistic and truthful. Work hard, its not late.
Hope it helps.

[QUOTE=HUNK007;788983]FEDERAL PUBLIC SERVICE COMMISSION
COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION FOR RECRUITMENT TO POSTS
IN BPS – 17 UNDER THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT, 1980.

ENGLISH (Précis and Composition)

TIME ALLOWED: THREE HOURS MAXIMUM MARKS:100

I. Summarize the following passage, tracing the main arguments and reducing it about one-third of its present length: (20)
The attention we give to terrorism often seems disproportionate to its real importance. Terrorism incidents make superb copy for journalists, but kill and main fewer people than road accidents. Nor is terrorism politically effective. Empires rise and fall according to the real determinants of politics — namely overwhelming force or strong popular support-not according to a bit of mayhem caused by isolated fanatics whom one would take seriously enough to vote for it. Indeed, the very variety of incidents that might be described as “terrorism” has been such as to lead critics to suggest that no single subject for investigation exists at all. Might we not regard terrorism as a kind of minor blotch on the skin of an industrial civilization whose very heart is filled with violent dreams and aspirations. Who would call in the dermatologist when the heart itself is sick?
But popular opinion takes terrorism very serious indeed and popular opinion is probably right. For the significance of terrorism lies not only in the grotesque nastiness of terrorist outrages but also in the moral claims they imply. Terrorism is the most dramatic exemplification of the moral fault of blind willfulness. Terrorism is a solipsistic denial of the obligation of self-control we all must recognize when we live in civilized communities. Certainly the sovereign high road to misunderstanding terrorism is the pseudo scientific project of attempting to discover its causes. Terrorists themselves talk of the frustrations which have supposedly necessitated their actions but to transform these facile justifications into scientific hypotheses is to succumb to the terrorists own fantasies. To kill and main people is a choice people make, and glib invocations of necessity are baseless. Other people living in the same situation see no such necessity at all. Hence their are no “causes” of terrorism, only decision to terrorize. It is a moral phenomenon and only a moral discussion can be adequate to it.

The Truth of Terrorism
Terrorism is a popular issue among the people and the media, though very few suffer from it as compared to other calamities. The empires rise and fall due to politics and not the terrorism. It is hard to find the forces behind each blood shed as researchers generalize them with terrorism. The mere eradication of terrorism cannot relieve us as it is only a tip of the iceberg of the problems faced by the mankind. Those who deem injustice to be the main cause of terrorism are accomplice with culprits in crime. Terrorism is just a bad choice and its cure lies in the moral teachings.
TOTAL WORDS 316
REQUIRED WORDS 105
GIVEN WORDS 110[/QUOTE]

Well dear, I read your precis earlier today but refrained from commenting as I didn't find any shortcomings. I think the precis you have made is quite good.

I found a phrase in your précis as the exact replica of the original one

[QUOTE=Ainzuk;789110]Hello,
I had read your precis last night but wanted some others to contribute but since no one is replying so here I am. And do not worry about people not replying to your posts, it happens. Hold your head up and keep working towards the goal.

Anyways, coming back to your precis, you need to understand the paragraph which I guess you haven't completely. You wrote 'It is hard to find the forces behind each blood shed as researchers generalize them with terrorism.' The original paragraph claims no such thing. It rather means that the forces behind terrorism and very vast and it is a very complicated issue. Then you wrote ' The mere eradication of terrorism cannot relieve us as it is only a tip of the iceberg of the problems faced by the mankind.' It is nowhere in the original paragraph. It never talk about eradication. Similarly, the last 2 lines are not also the gist of the original.

And you have used hard words like mere, calamity, eradication in the precis. You need to use simple words.
In short, it is not a good precis at all. You need to work very hard. And I am not saying to bring you down, just being realistic and truthful. Work hard, its not late.
Hope it helps.[/QUOTE]
thank you bro for valuable suggestions. I assure you that i shall not leave any stone unturned in improving my precise writing.

[QUOTE=Alwayswajid;793067]I found a phrase in your précis as the exact replica of the original one[/QUOTE]
bro thank you for pointing it out

[QUOTE=HUNK007;788983]

The Truth of Terrorism
Terrorism is a popular issue among the people and the media, though very few suffer from it as compared to other calamities. The empires rise and fall due to politics and not the terrorism. It is hard to find the forces behind each blood shed as researchers generalize them with terrorism. The mere eradication of terrorism cannot relieve us as it is only a tip of the iceberg of the problems faced by the mankind. Those who deem injustice to be the main cause of terrorism are accomplice with culprits in crime. Terrorism is just a bad choice and its cure lies in the moral teachings.
TOTAL WORDS 316
REQUIRED WORDS 105
GIVEN WORDS 110[/QUOTE]

good effort.
share more precis.