Hello everyone ...

Just the other day I came across outline for essay entitled "Future of democracy in Pakistan". As I am also working on my writing skills these days so I also tried. Here it is, Seniors assess this outline and highlight the deficiencies and give suggestions for improvement


Future of Democracy in Pakistan

Outlinne

Introduction

Basis and foundation of Democracy
Roots of democracy embedded deep in South Asia
Democracy – an imperative element of Pakistan ideology
System of Government in Pakistan
Geostrategic location of Pakistan
Pakistan – an ideological democratic state
Constitutional system of government
Military Coups and Marshal law
Non-military interventions
Dwindling and infirm democracy

Contemporary scenario
Future outlook

Intimidation to Democracy
1. Illiteracy and backwardness of masses
2. Feudalism
3. Unawareness of communities
4. Vulnerable government institutions
5. Grievances among provinces
6. External threats and terrorism
7. Precarious law and order situation
8. Passiveness of folks
9. Incompetent and indifferent government
10. Economic restraints
11. Racism and sectarianism
12. Ethnic disputes
13. Relations with neighboring countries
14. Menace of unemployment
15. Corruption and in transparency prevails
16. Energy crises and water disputes
17. Incapable judiciary
18. Injustice and broken law and order condition
19. Supremacy of bureaucracy
20. Military intrusion in state affairs
21. Thwarted progress

Outcome of unstable democratic apparatus

Proposals and recommendations for furtherance
1. Strong and genuine leadership
2. Parity among provinces
3. Consciousness and mindfulness of communities
4. Plausible foreign policy
5. Social and economic uplift
6. Say no to marshal law
7. Role and responsibility of media
8. Eradication of terrorism
9. Confiscation and amputation of corruption
10. Revoke medieval social system
11. Proliferation of education
12. Dismiss insecurities on part of countrymen
13. Predomination of Peace and harmony
14. Positive attitude

Road of democracy
Radiant and sparkling future of democracy

Conclusion

You have gone astray in the middle of the outline and where is your thesis ? I mean It is a good attempt but you have lost the main theme of your essay !

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The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion !

Point it out where I got off rails
and what is thesis statement ?
I mean I have heard about it but not sure that what is it exactly

Just After Future of Democracy in Pakistan.
And Thesis statement is the main argument you develop around which your whole essay circulates !

__________________
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion !

For example the topic is:
Decline of Education Standards in Pakistan
Here is the suggested outline:
1. Introduction
(Write 2,3 Lines under introduction in Outline)
2. Thesis Statement
Develop argument according to given topic. For Example in this case Thesis Statement will be:
Unfortunately in third world countries like Pakistan, education standards are declining perpetually instead of government efforts and It is deteriorating the society at large by curtailing basic educational facilities because education in Pakistan is exam oriented not education oriented. There is a dire need to reform educational policies in Pakistan in terms of providing better education to future generation.
(Now the whole essay will rotate about this argument)
3.Causes for decline of education in Pakistan
(Give brief details in outline of all the causes in your mind that are responsible for declining standards of education and describe each cause in one paragraph in essay)
4. Effects of declining education on Pakistan Society
(Now give brief detail of effects in outline and describe each effect in one paragraph in essay)
5. Critical Analysis of Government Educational Policies
(In essay write one or two paragraphs about different government policies. Describe distinguished steps taken by government and the reason for their failures )
6. Remedial Measures to Improve Education Standards in Pakistan
(Write brief measures in outline and Describe each remedy in one paragraph in essay)
7. Conclusion
Write one or two lines in outline of conclusion and a paragraph in an essay

I hope you will get a better idea about outline.

__________________
The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion !

this outline is in a doldrums

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The more knowledgeable the man the more valuable the man :D

Outline must be concentric...Bit of generalization but more specification.Write as an essay not a theoretical analysis.

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If I am what I have and if I lose what I have, who then am I?