I am surprised no one is pointing out your mistakes. Outlines of your first essay are good but reversed whereas of second one are totally confused and out of focus.
Secondly, your grammar is very poor. Most of your sentences are wrong and poorly crafted. I advise you to mend your grammar first. There will be no use of your thoughts, if you'd not able to put them on to the paper correctly.

I am happy that you have noticed the flaws and shortcomings in my writing and outlines, but would you please be more specific and point out three, four grammatically incorrect sentences?

What do you mean by "reversed outline "? Does it mean to start with the individuals' perspective and then proceed to the group dynamics of the issue, or to discuss causes first and then present the evidence at different levels?

Another thing that I have asked to others but didn't get an answer is that should an outline only consist of phrases or sentences or both can be used in a mixed pattern or phrases are preferable?

I will be greatly obliged if you find time to help me answer these questions.

Regards.

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One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

no answer. outline is not organised, conclusion is also not given, but please evaluate the body of the essay, concepts and grammar.

I just reviewed your outline Safeer and went through what I presume is the intorduction to your essay. I will go through the rest of your essays as well as soon as I can.

However, given the issues you will discuss in your essay (ranging from those related to modern world history to those about science and society) your essay will definitely not be short on examples
But therein lies the problem (from my perspective). Too many examples without any 'super-structure' which they enhance or support will give the impression of jumbled up, incoherent thoughts about the topic. Ideally, examples should be there to support your argument (the 'super-structure') which should be the focus of your essay.
The last two main points of your outline will allow you to build some argument but your overall essay will seem to be unorganized and haphazard (all the examples which may/may not appear to be unrelated will come first and the argument will come later on).

The outline obviously gives the impression that there are a lot of ideas from different fields in your mind, which is wonderful. But it is up to you to organize them and convert them into a similarly wonderful essay.

Your expression and grammar are not substandard at all but like always, there is room for improvement. Keep up the hard work mate and insha'Allah you will succeed.

I forgot to mention that research is essential. Whenever you come across some topic about which knowledge from some specific field is required, research is a must. In fact, it is obligatory

Without research, you may not be able to do justice to that topic. Read about social, economic, religious, cultural, legal, scientific and technological issues that are of global interest as well as those that are unique to South Asia. Read about their histories. Read about specific movements which helped create awareness or generally helped some cause. But your focus should primarily be on contemporary issues.

More importantly, do not be a passive reader. Ask yourself whether or not the writer was able to convince you. If not, ask yourself why. If yes, ask yourself why anyway . Whether you are convinced or not, try to build your own arguments. And set aside your biases/prejudices (which we all have to varying extents) when you read something.

Finally a sigh of relief!

Thank you so much.

What I have been able to understand from your commentary on my attempt is that my outline has a pretty strong skeleton (in the form of examples), but it lacks the flesh and muscles that are the arguments.

Well, I can think of two ways to eliminate this deficiency.
First approach can be to place "the reasons/underlying causes" immediately after the introduction, and only then provide the examples so that I can relate the examples to already mentioned causes.
This will be easier for me as I'll only have to reshuffle my thoughts.

Second approach can be to list all the examples under the relevant argument. Although the examiner would find it more coherent, but this strategy, as it seems to me, is not practical. Because, many of these examples can support more than one ideas. How will I be able to manage that if one example may support more than one argument!

And I specially try to touch global, national, economic, feminist and religious side of the topic, because who knows what are the particular interests of the paper checker. This is also one of the reason why I try to write on general topics.

I must thank you again for finding time to help me and others. It will be invaluable if you help me in future as well.

May Allah bless you with exceptional success and happiness and obviously a position among the toppers of CE-2015.

PS: Alhamdulilah my reading skills and critical-thinking abilities are well refined and trained. I am only doubtful about my writing ability which I will soon overcome if Allah's will is so.

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An idea struck my mind just now. Please give your opinion on it.

How about if we use the exact same phrases or sentences in the essay, that we have used in the outline, and write them with black pen.

This will certainly facilitate the paper checker, but it will come with an ill side-effect, that is that it may give an impression of "headings".

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One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

Introduction (general analysis). 1 when life throws you lemons ? 1When you are over confident 2 cruel 3 merciless 4 ignorant 4 hopeless 5 broken 6 myopic 7 jealous 8 feeling contempt for people etc. 2 make lemonade how? 1 seek forgiveness to God 2 feel remorse 3 get your act together how? 1 through courage 2 endurance 3 determination 4 descipline 5 be humble 6 do good and have good. 3 when life throws you lemons make lemonade- its result.1 from novice to veteren. 4 conclusion- the sum up

Have your say gentlement...sort out all faults in it so that I may be able to understand

ardent! please make an organised outline, your concept is not clear

Brother I made simple one..lemons are adversity .man face adversity either he is cruel or ignorant merciless over confident or feeling pride in any circumstances he faces..how can he make lemonade out of them? Either through determination endurance faith or remorse..it varies from person to person and in different circumstances....which I think better in essay body to justify.all of them...


So if there are any faults in it .kindly make a correction.it will help me.I wrote basics and facts would be mention in the form of examples in main body of essay.....have your say kindly

You're overemphasising on to explain what adversities are, and how someone may encounter them.

If you're going to write a paragraph for each of your point, then the most part of your essay will seem to be irrelevant.

Structure comes next, relevancy comes first..

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One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

So how the outline should be relevant then ? If I discuss examples in it like u do did..OK ? Introduction( general analysis of historic facts). 2 when life throws you lemon make lemonade how? 1 through faith 2 through determination 3 through love 4 respect etc etc....(and each point i mention suitable qoute and example from history like u did)...OK what would be results of it.1 eminence 2 contention 3 success ( isn't it applicable from a man to people to city to province to country to world)

I don't think it can't get much simpler easier and relevant than that..I will take ur point.it is irrelevant what lemons are? I mentioned when life throws u adversities? I didnt mention any adversity... I mention the faults in man that brings adversity. Cruelness brings downfall or punishment and punishment is adversity not cruelity . in the same way pride is a sin and bad thing and resulting downfall as a result of pride would be poverty or inkemptness which are adversities not pride..so these are faults that make us suffer and we can turn our suffering caused by these faults into success through patience remorse forgiveness determination courage etc....its ABC I don't think the crux of essay can't get better than that..argument can be quoted through examples from historic figures like u did.but still if u have better understanding than this u can correct me... I m not a veteran ....I would appreciate the help ...thanks