When life gives you lemons, make lemonade
 

Dear seniors and Queen island

I have been visiting this forum since July when I made my mind to give CSS a try, and today I finally registered myself. I expect a great deal of corporation and guidance that, I believe, all of you will be happy to grant. :)

Please have a good look at the outline I drafted for the first time and point out the room for improvement.

And I had to post ten 'posts' before I could upload this outline as the forum required me to do so in order to upload a picture . :!

Many thanks

[IMG]http://images.tapatalk-cdn.com/15/10/16/0a30917b650ec3693b3d68d9c8e777c4.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://images.tapatalk-cdn.com/15/10/16/806f1573a978cf2f2bbef44ab17ff244.jpg[/IMG]

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Will you please explain this proverb. I'm unable to grasp central idea

Harsh circumstances can be used to gain leverage.

In other words, one must manipulate adversities in one's favor.

Or to put differently, apparently difficult situations have hidden potential that must be tapped and used by the person facing that situation.

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Brother, I think lemons mean adversities not adversaries.

[QUOTE=safeer khan;872526]Dear seniors and Queen island

I have been visiting this forum since July when I made my mind to give CSS a try, and today I finally registered myself. I expect a great deal of corporation and guidance that, I believe, all of you will be happy to grant. :)

Please have a good look at the outline I drafted for the first time and point out the room for improvement.

And I had to post ten 'posts' before I could upload this outline as the forum required me to do so in order to upload a picture . :!

Many thanks

[IMG]http://images.tapatalk-cdn.com/15/10/16/0a30917b650ec3693b3d68d9c8e777c4.jpg[/IMG]

[IMG]http://images.tapatalk-cdn.com/15/10/16/806f1573a978cf2f2bbef44ab17ff244.jpg[/IMG]

Sent from my SM-N900 using Tapatalk[/QUOTE]
*adversaries

Cream rises to the top, so does dead froth.

[QUOTE=Aamish Bhatti;872799]Brother, I think lemons mean adversities not adversaries.[/QUOTE]
Yes, it is adversities.
You may have noticed that I have written "adversities" while explaining the key concept to "Towards Success".

It is a blunder that I wrote adversaries on the outline but a conceptual mistake.

Apart from it, do you find it to be good enough?

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[QUOTE=IqbalZafa;872801]*adversaries

Cream rises to the top, so does dead froth.[/QUOTE]
Well, one can't be both simultaneously, cream and a dead froth. So, how do you see my attempt, ignoring the blunder of using adversaries instead of adversities.

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[QUOTE=safeer khan;872805]
Apart from it, do you find it to be good enough?

[/QUOTE]


We can write on this topic with different approaches. As there is no perfect approach so it is a risky topic to write on in exam.

I am also a beginner. Seniors can better check your essay outline but personally I like this outline. Please upload one paragraph from your essay so that we can see how you have expanded the ideas in your essay.

Shouldn't it be written as 'economic stimulus of Pakistan' instead of 'economic stimulation in Pakistan'?

[QUOTE=Aamish Bhatti;872811]Shouldn't it be written as 'economic stimulus of Pakistan' instead of 'economic stimulation in Pakistan'?[/QUOTE]
Both sounds good to me. Let's see if someone else give his or her opinion.

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[QUOTE=IqbalZafa;872801]*adversaries

Cream rises to the top, so does dead froth.[/QUOTE]


Impressive. I think you're spot on. How about applying this theory to individual then State and finally going global?

Safeer, the core of your outline is very good. I like how you set out to explain the phenomenon at many different levels moving from macro to micro. Here are some of the points I would like you to consider:-

1) You can find much better examples than the ones you used. The ones you chose are correct too, but they appear a bit complicated (judging from the outline alone) and seem to have taken you off-topic along the way. This is especially true about the second category (where you explain the idea at state level). Instead of stretching one point and just mentioning Pakistan as an example at the state level, you can shorten the length of the given arguments (that would also make them appear a bit less complicated), and add the examples of Japan (how it rose from the ashes after atomic bombs and WW2) and other countries like that.

2) You could add a great deal of variety for the last category. Prophet Muhammad (saw), Nelson Mandela, Helen Keller and countless other success stories like these. The point is to not stretch just one example, and use short, crispy arguments with multiple examples to increase chances of getting a higher score.

Next time, also share your introductory paragraph. That would help us guide you in a much better way. And keep practicing, you have potential!