@Mashaaal
You can only send me snap of your two essay only.Zada material time consuming ho ga just two essay or jo apka most favourite topic ho uske bs snap la ka send kr dain type na karna.

Please ask a question in relevant thread. Follow forum rules.

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thanks for appreciation. and yes Alhamdollilah i have cleared with this essay

@Silver Heart
I have read outline of your one essay''violence is the last refuge to be incompetent''of css-2014.
If css-2014 was your first attempt then what is your marks in that essay or css-2015 is your first attempt.
Please if you share some points of your css-2015 essay introduction here?

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Few words are best.

First, let us wish you good luck for the next phase of CSS.

Secondly, you may take photographs of your notes and post them on the forum. It would be extremely difficult for you to type everything.

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One must be a wise reader to quote wisely and well; said Bronson Alcott

@Mashaaal
Best of Luck for Your Interview.
Hopefully after your interview you share your Essay stuff with the group members.
regards

my optionals were psycho, US history, public ad, journalism and socio.
i relied on daily dawn for vocabulary building.
for composition i practiced precis and expansion of ideas regularly. i did the last 10 years past papers of composition.
enough has been said about essay, i suggest you to stick to the main idea and try to justify it in the best possible way by giving relevant arguments, opinions and examples(facts and figures will add to it) , avoid being off the track, that's it.
sorry for giving late response because i am busy in my preparations for interview,
pray for me guys,
regards

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Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you never planted.

Hello,

After spending nearly two months trying to evaluate my outline and finding flaws that are not apparently visible to me, I have decided to request people here to have a look at my outline (the bits and pieces I remember) and tell me what went wrong. Feedback from Cogito Ergo Sum, Aik Admi, Xing Lee, King Falcon and CE-2015 qualifiers will be highly valuable.

Before I post my outline, I want to let you know that my handwriting most probably falls in the 'decent' category. Some of my teachers seemed to like it and I get a few compliments here and there about it at times (I would have been glad to post a picture but I don't think I can do with the number of posts I have here). Grammar and vocabulary aren't too bad either.

I have fair writing speed which means that I can balance handwriting and number of words. I wrote 13 pages (1 page = both leaflets of the paper) and word count was probably over 3000. The nature of my present job demands I write essay-like reports of nearly 2000-4000 words daily within 3 to 4 hours. Therefore, one may assume I have had fair practice writing for longer periods with adequate speed.

Having talked about quantity, let me also explain why I chose to attempt the 'WOT essay'. I was repeatedly told by some qualifiers and academy staff (in Islamabad) to always go for the safest 'current affairs' essay and that attempting any other essay is death. I wanted to attempt the one on 'luxury predecessors is necessity of successors' but didn't have guts. I hold this to be the 90% reason for failure. You can tell me otherwise.

The structure of outline I followed was suggested by many individuals as the ideal structure for an analytical essay (cause-effect-conclusion type flow). Perhaps, this was not needed on this essay?

I used many but judiciously decided examples of Pakistan, Syria, Palestine etc. etc. Began my essay with a quotation (posted with the outline) and ended with a conclusion.

My introduction opened with the description of an anti-drone campaign poster that features a 3 year old dead child in the arms of a weeping man. I showed how it moved people's sentiments for sometime and then there was silence on international media. At the end of the introductory para, I put my thesis statement. From there I followed the outline and described every point in one para. Please note that my focus remained on the instances of abuse and implications of HR abuse rather than recommendations.

Overall, I scored 710 marks in the written exam of CE-2015 (minus the essay). My marks in the essay exam are 27%.

Yes, there are flaws in this outline. I've always had a hard time evaluating myself. So please feel free to take out every little thing that's wrong about it. I will find some peace then.


Topic: WOT is resulting in growing abuse of HR

“If we destroy human rights and rule of law in the response to terrorism, they have won.” - Joichi Ito

Introduction
Global War on Terror
Concept of Human Rights
- UDHR
- Human Rights in Islam
Instances of how WOT has fueled HR abuse
- Drone attacks
- Missing persons and forced disappearances
- Enhanced Interrogation Techniques (torture of POWs) in Abu Gharib and Guantanamo Bay
- Civilian casualties
- Violation of freedom of speech
- Ban on veil in France
- Social inequalities due to stereotyping and labeling certain groups
- Economic subjugation
- Atrocities against children – case of Palestine
Implications of increasing HR abuse
- Heightened extremist and revolutionary movements
- Hatred against the west
- Islamophobia in the west
- Cycle of violence
Recommendations to overcome HR abuses
- International mechanism for accountability of WOT fighting forces
- Role of mass media
- Social and economic incentives to curb violence
- Public awareness and educational programs
- Role of law enforcement and regulatory bodies
- Efforts at individual level
Conclusion

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SR

Welcome to the thread. First of all, you had a splendid DMC. That might not have gotten you through the CSS, and who knows you may not get through even in future, but you'll be really successful in life insha Allaah. CSS exams are not entirely merit based as far as I have seen...they can't just be, keeping in view the non-standardisation. So it does fall on to what God has in store for you - that, some people call luck.

Coming to the topic, I find your outline pretty neat. If I had attempted that I'd be a satisfied man when I left the exam hall. But just to improve it further there's room for creativity may be. That's not to suggest that it's not creative as such, but mine is an ambitious attempt to get inside the terrifying space within the head of the examiner. E.g. You could talk about the Psychological effects of drone warfare; the making of terrorists with 'collateral damage'; the peril of a real 'clash of civilisations' etc... I mean adding more nuances to the outline...

Moreover,

1st, should the introductory paragraph precede the Outline?

2nd, may be the examiner was looking for a word or two on what made the foolishly-termed War on Terror inevitable before getting to the 'anti-' thesis? May be s/he was even pro-WOT?

3rd, may be you got passionate in your arguments so as to sound prejudiced instead of objective?

4th, may be 26 pages was too much for the examiner to attend to?

5th, may be you were repetitive (sometimes) in your write up even with the good outline...and examiner perhaps got his eyes on that 'ordinary' paragraph?

Disclaimer: this is just an exercise in brain storming, no more!

In pursuit of the same kind of 'peace' you are trying to seek, I met a specialist and presented my outline before him, along with my introductory paragraph. Before I write anything here, I would like to make one thing clear: nobody knows for certain why some candidates don't get through essay; even if someone claims that knowledge, we should be wise enough to know that person to be a liar.

I find nothing remarkably wrong with your outline. In fact, you owe your 27 marks to this outline. It is your introduction that probably caused your downfall. It falls short of the examiner's standards of 'simplicity', 'straightforwardness' and 'relevance'. Your stance should have been crystal-clear from the VERY FIRST SENTENCE of your essay. Never complicate things. Keep it simple, even ordinary if you have to, for the sake of it. If your introduction does not fulfill these expectations, examiner will never award passing marks.

What I have written above is the input of the man I met. I hope you attain some peace from it. Good luck for your future attempts.

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"Everything the light touches, is our kingdom."