Yes, I stuck with two things, "WOT" and "its connection with Human Rights abuses", whether US does it or Terrorists or States that are connected in some way to the WOT. I covered different aspects of how WOT has increased chaos instead of eliminating terrorism, WOT is a noble cause but not going in the right direction, so many countries have been affected by both sides' actions, people killed/displaced, rights infringed etc. I covered the social, economic and political aspects of it with examples of various countries and societies.

@Justice: I did not put the definitions in the introduction. In the introduction, I only wrote things that led to the support of my thesis statement which was that WOT did contribute to the growing abuse of human rights. After the introduction, I gave a brief introduction to WOT and HR because you have to give some kind of a starter.

Justice sahib me tau Allaah ka karam hai appear he nahin hua. 2016 will be my first and last attempt insha Allaah

dear friends! in my first attempt,in 2013,I was failed in the english essay with 25 marks while getting 54 in precy and comprehension. In 2014, i got 65 marks in the essay and failed in comprehension, getting 33 marks. so, fpsc standards are unpredictable, better to say no standards.My grand total in 2014 was 676 marks. I am preparing this time, but i have no high hopes from the system.

I wrote on the human rights topic, about 18 pages, 1900 words give or take, and a complete 1-page outline.

This is what I think was wrong with my essay:-

-I don't have a "good" handwriting. It's legible, though. But I think it is bad enough to secure a place in the list of wrong things.

-I might have been interpreted to be going off-topic when, right after my introductory paragraph, I discussed the pre-war human rights situation in the West and the East. While sitting on that broken chair in my exam centre, the statement "war on terror has contributed to the GROWING abuse of human rights" appeared to me to be demanding an explanation of how the WOT had contributed to the ALREADY ongoing abuses of human rights in some places. For that purpose, I felt a need to start off with my perspective regarding the nature of human rights abuses being made across the world since before the WOT. This probably became my biggest mistake. It was purely a case of misjudgment, as I thought that each word in the title of an essay has a significance and should be done justice with.

-I had failed in 2013, and one of the senior people I met after 2013 essay fiasco guided me to use a very simple language, especially in the first few pages. I tried my best to do that, but I still ended up using some 'apparently' difficult words and phrases in the introduction. When I confessed this sin of mine to a senior qualifier (who happens to be a friend as well), he told me pointblank that I wasn't going to clear the essay because the checker might feel offended by the 'complexity' (rather lack of simplicity) of my language and expression. Personally, I would never have done this if I had considered those words "complex"; they were regular, commonplace words to me and I assumed that's they way it would be for anyone who reads ANY kind of English stuff.

-Instead of just listing out the abuses, I decided to talk about HOW the W.O.T had given rise to an environment conducive to the abuse of human rights. This is my second big mistake. I should have kept it simple and ordinary: WOT has done this, this, this and that. The end. Though I did mention some particular, significant abuses, but they were mentioned in passing, as a means to strengthen my core arguments, instead of being "the highlights" of my essay.

Takeaway message: be simple, ordinary, to the point. And pray, a lot. Because if you choose to interpret something in a way that doesn't fall in line with the examiner's own interpretation of the statement, you're very much screwed.

P.S.
Being a failed candidate, I do not consider myself worthy of passing verdict regarding my own essay. A failed candidate can only tell you what NOT to do. But, to know what to do, I would suggest that you wait for more qualifying candidates to comment here.

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"Everything the light touches, is our kingdom."

I don't care about anything else Cogito my friend. I want you to stay here on the forum for as long as you are alive and keep guiding and enlightening our fellow youth. I request others to do this as well. Many forces in our society have kept us in the dark and suppressed about many things but this should not happen anymore.

Well, 2016 will be my first attempt and, God forbid, in case I flunked, I am never going to appear again in this exam. But I have a problem.. I can write and have bags of information too.. But I use very casual vocabulary. Is that a problem! Will it cost me!

This is the age of Simple English my friend. Once I was talking to an English friend of mine and I used the word "thrice", he was surprised and asked how come I used that word since nowadays they say three-times or triple. I asked him why? He said this is old english and probably his grandfather would use such a word.

But I dont know what the criteria of FPSC is since they are the masters of English and their moods change frequently.

5: In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to is level of incompetence


outline :
Hierarchy of employees in organizations:
1:Higher level employees
Policy makers
Bureaucratics, CEOs, etc
2:middle level
Staff managers
3:lower level
Peon, clerks etc

Reasons of incompetent employees in a hierarchy:
1:lack of training
2:lack of specialization in particular field
3:nepotism in government sector
4:centralization system in sectors


Effects of incompetent employees in a hierarchy:
1:corruption in government sectors.
2: failure in target achievement.
3:blame game between senior and Junior officers
4:deserving employees are not given promotions
5:the check and balance system remains no more long.

Solution to make a hierarchy of competent employees.
1:training coachings for new employees in organization
2:technical education must be given to all level of employees
3:transperancy in promotion system
4: incentives and bonuses must be given
5:decentralization of organization
6:employees must be given task according to their specialization
7: increments in salaries
8: control in corruption
Conclusion

Being a junior aspirant i cannot write on the topic you have attempted to write on, but prima facie it seems not very relevant to me. As it is not about how it rise to the level incompetence. Rather, it explains hierarchy, it's problems and solutions.
I am not an expert but that's what i see. If it were to me, I would not attempt this one, cause I can not do justice to this type of titles

everyone is saying that essay paper is difficult and cannot be passed. people who have strong command on English also failed in essay paper. the main reason is that it require strong opinion, views and ideas. you must display these thing in a right place. you must show yourself like a leader. if you have strong command on english then it doesn't mean you are Einstein or Muhammad Ali Jannah, people who have great ideas, opinion, and views can pass css essay paper easily.

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Success is simple. Do what's right, the right way, at the right time.