You give relevant outline.One of main requirement of essay is relevancy which is requirement of essay that you always write relevant to the point.Even i discussed ghawa badr,uhad but i didn't discussed these war as relevancy is main point of essay.Many candidate considered these wars as not holy wars and you give same point but some holy element is still present in wars used by politician and world power so we cann't neglect religion.If you prove your point by giving evidences in essay that these wars are not holy war.Examiner obviously correct your essay.This essay exam is very difficult even if IR topics is not given like millitary engagement by uno then it become headache for candidates.So examiner give benifit to IR student.

Are modern wars not holy wars ?

No they are not holy.
Define war.

Examples.
-Wars of history were holy
-Holy wars condemn indiscriminate killings
-Wars of islam
-Can you call israel palestine warns holy wars ?
-Modern cold wars
-Wars amongst nations today
-Religions remain silent -overlooking the destruction of syria
-Pak india current war
-Difference between modern and holy wars

Conclusion
-restate thesis

__________________
S.A.K

What did you write in the intro. para.? What was your thesis? This outline is passable, depending on what you did in the intro and thesis.


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Brother in the intro i discussed what i will discuss in the essay. My thesis was that yes , modern wars are not holy wars , several examples will be discussed in the essay such as etc etc to prove that modern wars are not holy wars.
Then i defined war in the intro paragraph and linked the last line of the intro paragraph with the continuing paragraph to show a connecion as to what i will discuss in the next paragraph. Went on to add quotes in the essay. Then described the examples by giving both sides of the topic i.e what holy wars are and how modern wars are not holy , in respect of the example heading. Though my essay was 1500 words since i didnt want to be irrelevant.

__________________
S.A.K

Had you relied more on arguments (eg. "Modern wars are not holy wars because holy wars condemn indiscriminate killing unlike what is practiced in modern wars), and then qualified them with said examples, I would tell you to be sure of your success. You emphasised more on examples and made the argumentation less prominent. But still, you have managed to stay more or less relevant. If fate doesn't conspire against you, you can clear with this one. Best wishes.


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Obviously i did discuss examples under each heading.

__________________
S.A.K

It is one of the controversial topic that is given by examiner.If holy war condemned indiscrminate killing then crusade do same by destruction of muslim and jews to spread christinanity.They have same motive as now ttp and isis who spread islam on basis of sword.If we cann't called these modern war as holy war in which religion is still used as tool to incresed their hegemony over other countries.Then there is no difference between nationalist war that instigated by hitler who impressed by national cultur of germany.Fascist do same as done by hitler to spread their agenda on basis of force to bow down people.They are not impressed by any relgious education.Every war has two direction.Taliban that is created by pakistan ,saudi arab,usa to overcome influence of soviet union.Taliban govern over afghanistan from 1996 to 2001 on basis of sharia.After 9/11 attack america fought war to increased their hegemony over afghanistan and middle east by giving name of these war a war against terrorism.They raped so many woman,Killed so many people.They have not any religious purpose as similar to crusade who fought war in name of jesus christ.Taliban that is created during soviet era now fought war for relIgious purposes.War in afghanistan for taliban is holy war and america is fought this war to increased their hegemony so it is not holy war for america.Some writer called its holy war,some called its mixture of holy war as well as not holy war and some called its not holy war.So it is controversial topics.Now it is up to examiner what he considered these war.Relevancy is part of essay topic but i see outline of people who didn't hit topic from point asked in exam.They fisrt discussed history of topic and then discussed point that asked in exam.Still they passed exam.I saw candidate who write essay on war against terrorism create abuses .He first discussed histroy of war against terrorism and then discussed abuses.Still he passed exam.I pick out so many error in outline but people still passed exam.So main thing is your convincing argument that is matched with examiner.Are modern war not holy war is one of the most controversial topic.Still many debate on this topic.

For 2018 aspirants:

Are Modern Wars not Holy Wars?

Note: I am unable to recall all the sub-points but the broad strokes of my essay were:

1. Introduction
a. Concept of Sacred and Profane: If people consider sth sacred and are willing to fight for it then it becomes a holy war
b. Thesis Statement – yes, modern wars are holy wars
2. Hunting and Gathering Societies – Tribal values considered sacred – wars for decades
3. Settled societies - concept of religion took its roots – Holy Wars took the shape of religious wars
a. Crusades
b. Thirty Years’ War in Europe
4. Concept of nation-state became sacred – Two world Wars
5. Sacred concepts of Capitalism and Communism
6. Now once again Holy Wars have, to a great extent, become religious – refer to clash of civilizations by Samuel P. Huntington, if feel necessary
7. Conclusion (The concept of sacredness was, and still is, the root of any conflict. Hence, modern wars are as much holy as were the previous ones.)

Key: Don't confuse religious wars with holy wars. Religious wars were just one example of holy wars. This will immensely broaden the horizon of your essay.


(I guess the examiner liked my idea)