Being a minority is a fate no one wants, can nationalism be really inclusive
 

1. Introduction

2. Minority – marginalized by fate

a. The case of Rohingya in Myanmar
b. The case of Kurds in Syria and Turkey
c. The case of Christians and Hindus in Pakistan

3. Dire conditions of minorities across the world

a. Basic Human Rights are not guaranteed
b. Basic Amenities of life are not provided
c. Limited Access to employment opportunities
d. Kept aloof from political , social and economic activities
e. Social Insecurity

4. Reasons behind Marginalization of Minorities

a. Political Motives – Keeping minority aloof from mainstream politics
b. Social Motives – Sense of Insecurity among the masses towards minorities
c. Cultural Motives – Amalgamation is not appreciated by people

5. Inclusiveness of nationalism – A pill to cure the disease

a. National Cohesiveness
b. Peaceful Coexistence
c. Harmonious Relations
d. National Integration

6. Towards inclusive nationalism: Measures to tackle issues faced by minorities

a. Political Will to Integrate Minority into mainstream
b. Economic uplift of minority
c. State’s resolve to guarantee Social Security to minority
d. State’s commitment to protect basic human rights of minority

7. Conclusion

Seniors, please assess my essay.

Impressive work. Best of luck

[QUOTE=S R Bhutto;1008491]1.Introduction

2.Minority – marginalized by fate

a.The case of Rohingya in Myanmar
b.The case of Kurds in Syria and Turkey
c.The case of Christians and Hindus in Pakistan

3.Dire conditions of minorities across the world

a.Basic Human Rights are not guaranteed
b.Basic Amenities of life are not provided
c.Limited Access to employment opportunities
d.Kept aloof from political , social and economic activities
e.Social Insecurity

4.Reasons behind Marginalization of Minorities

a.Political Motives – Keeping minority aloof from mainstream politics
b.Social Motives – Sense of Insecurity among the masses towards minorities
c.Cultural Motives – Amalgamation is not appreciated by people

5.Inclusiveness of nationalism – A pill to cure the disease

a.National Cohesiveness
b.Peaceful Coexistence
c.Harmonious Relations
d.National Integration

6.Towards inclusive nationalism: Measures to tackle issues faced by minorities

a.Political Will to Integrate Minority into mainstream
b.Economic uplift of minority
c.State’s resolve to guarantee Social Security to minority
d.State’s commitment to protect basic human rights of minority

7.Conclusion

Seniors, please assess my essay.[/QUOTE]



You haven't addressed the question of the essay in any point. "Can nationalism be really inclusive?", nowhere have you answered that. Essay completely lacks in relevance. If this is essay year, your chances are bleak.


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Party popper, please recommend the changes which you are referring to
I guess, I ve connected the inclusiveness part with the minority problem in point 3,4 while connecting them to 1,2 . Obviously, we cannot jump to nationalism without a background of the fate of minority. It is imperative to cover all parts of the essay and not to focus on one angle of the topic alone

You could have provided examples in support of second part.In my View,The first first is impressive and justified with evidence,but the second part is not.Good luck though!

Thanks infinite optimism :) much appreciated !

He just asked you if nationalism could be really inclusive, while you kept explaining the dire conditions of minorities (which he already said exist and didn't need you to tell him again). Then you started telling him why minorities are marginalised, while he didn't ask you to write on that. Then you wrote about how inclusive nationalism can solve problems, while the real question was whether nationalism can be inclusive. Then you told him how inclusive nationalism can be achieved, but he never asked you that. He just wanted you to take a position if nationalism can be inclusive, and then prove it. You never did that.


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Thanks party-pooper for your input. I shall make the necessary changes to the essay and post it here, again.
Also, I read an essay on the above topic whose outline is as follows. Please assess whether it looks fine

1. Introduction

2. The State of Inclusive Nationalism in the World for Minorities

a. Positive Angle : Liberal and Moderate Policies for Minorities in Canada
b. Negative Angle: Marginalization of Rohingya Muslims in Myanmar and Christians ,
Hindus in Pakistan

3. Non-inclusiveness of nationalism is Controllable

a. Protection of basic human rights of minorities
b. Apply political, social and economic safeguards for minorities
c. Integrate minorities into mainstream

4. How can nationalism be inclusive to protect the rights and interests of Minorities

a. Politically – Providing opportunities for integration into main stream politics
b. Socially – Addressing social insecurities of minorities
c. Culturally – Guaranteeing basic rights for promoting religious and cultural activities

5. Conclusion

Please share you view..Everybody else is also requested to share their opinion on this one , please

Request input on the updated version of essay, seniors :( :(