1. Introduction
The effective measures at all levels can ensure gender equality in Pakistan.
2. Current status of women in Pakistan
i. Discrimination against women.
ii. Under-represented in all public institutions.
iii. Low female literacy rate.
iv. The patriarchal misinterpretation of religion
3. Why women ought to become equal to men in Pakistan?
i. To comply with international standards and image-building of the country.
ii. Political development in the country.
iii. Economic prosperity across the country.
4. How can women be equal to men in Pakistan?
i. Socio-cultural changes in the country.
ii. Educating the women.
iii. Effective and up-to-date legislation.
iv. Proper implementation of the law.
v. The positive role of clergy.
vi. Media and civil society.
5. Conclusion

I have made another outline of this essay.

1. Introduction

"The women can absolutely become equal to the men in Pakistan."

2. Supporting arguments

i. Socio-cultural changes
ii. educating the women
iii. Ending discrimination
iv. Economic independence
v. Adequate representation
vi. effective legislation
vii. proper execution of laws
viii. role of clergy
ix. Media and civil society

3. Conclusion

both outlines are good. its one's own choice to follow whatever structure

__________________
Contented with Little, Yet Wishing for More...

First outline structure seems better because it is representing somehow a head-to-toe body of essay skeleton. Try to add more points. Is it your first outline? Practice again n again .

In my opinion, this essay should be written in argumentative style. Your first outline is although well structured but it is irrelevant to the topic. In the topic, you are being asked to give your opinion that can women be equal to men in Pakistan or not. Take your stance and present supporting arguments. He has not asked about present condition of women in Pakistan as he is well aware about the situation. He is just asking that if it is possible to give them equal status or not. Moreover, there is no need to write that why women want to become equal to men. Just give supportive arguments. Write self explanatory phrases in arguments. After that you can give suggestions that how can women get equal status in Pakistan. Before suggestions you can also write that why there is a need to give equal status to women in Pakistan. The most important word in the statement is can and that is the main point to be discussed in the essay.
In your introduction you have written "gender equality". In this essay you are being asked about equality of men and women. He is not asking about gender equality so, write only about women.
Your English seems fine to me. However, you are making one mistake. In essay, you are writing phrases but putting full stops at the end. Do not put full stops.
Read the statement at least 3-5 times. Understand it and identify the key points. Write the main parts which you need to discuss about these key points. Then add points in these main parts. This is how you construct your outline. Your issue is understanding the topic and relevancy. Work on it. Your ideas in 2nd outline are good. Just twist them in phrases but they should be self explanatory. They should look like an argument not heading.

__________________
WA-TU-IZZU MANTASHA; WATU-ZILLU MANTASHA

Aoa,
I am looking for some assistance for making outline, introduction and conclusion of essay most scoring, what are the key factors ? Please answer in reference to literal essays as well like for "Modernity is an unending process".

kindly give comments on my outline.

Topic from past paper 2010;
Can women be equal to man in Pakistan?
1. Introduction
Thesis statement : women can definitely be equal to man in Pakistan.
2. The struggle of women in Pakistan to become equal to men.
a. Getting their rights of education from family.
b. Getting out from home and understanding the environment.
c. Hurdles of social issues.
d. Facing the problems in adapting the contemporary style of education.
e. Sense of hesitation in adjusting in work place.
f. Gender discrimination at work place.
3. Impact of successful women in Pakistan
a. social harmonious in the society
b. economic prosperity throughout the country
c. political development in the country.
4. Role of women in Islam / Importance of women in Islam
a. Status of women in Islam
b. Women as a working women
c. Women as a mother
d. Women as a sister and daughter
e. Women as a wife
5. Role of women in Pakistan / Importance of women in Pakistan
a. Rise of women empowerment in Pakistan
i. Improvising the opportunities in Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto Government
ii. Institutional building for women's development in Zia-ul-Haq Regime
iii. The status of women in Benazir Bhutto Government
iv. Empowered women in Nawaz Sharif Government
v. Facilitative women in Asif Ali Zardari Government
b. Notable women of Pakistan in various fields.
i. Politics
ii. Education
iii. Sports
iv. Arts and Entertainment
v. Literature
vi. Other fields
6. Conclusion

outline----inadequate and not properly structured.. need improvement , you are advised to re-attempt it

__________________
HoPe AgainsT HopE

thank you for the reply.
any suggestions? where I am making mistake?

folowing are the points to be considered in making outline.
discuss in detail the things asked and also touch related aspects. however you did not elaborated why there is no equality and how can be achieved.
1- intro
2- types of gender
men
women
third gender
3. history of women rights and equality
* greece
* rome
* judaism
* arab
4. faces of inequality
5. causes of ineuqality in pak
* culture
* illiteracy
* male dominancy
* fuedalism
* houshold
* family structure
* violance
* religious parties role
* no will power
etc

6. effects of inequality
7. how equality can be ensured
* education
* framing of laws
* imolementation of laws
* democracy
* rule of law
* chnage in mind set
* encourgement
etx
8. pak is islamic state and women rights in islam
9. UN n women rights
10. conatitutional provisions
art 25, 33 35
11. women rights in pak vs west
12. role of media in sfaeguarding women eqality
* agent of change
* awareness to people including women about their rights
13. actors in state protecting women equality
constitution
judiciary
ngo etc
14. steps taken by govt to strenthen women equality
family laws ordinance
women protection act
workpalcr harrasment act
quota in asemlies n jobs
women judges
speaker
governor state bank
women activities and role in all fileds
etc
15. conclusion

__________________
HoPe AgainsT HopE