Hi, I have just started writing essay and I am not entirely sure how to start i have written an introduction and i was hoping if anyone can check it for me and guide me to the right direction. help would be extremely appreciated. thank you
Terrorism: biggest threat to Pakistan
intro outline: definition of terrorism and types of terrorism
Effects on pakistan
thesis statement


Terrorism is the illegtimate use of voilence and intimidation in pursuit of political aims. terrorists are non state actors who induce fear and anxiety in the population. They exert their political infulence to achieve their goals. Terrorism is a non traditional security threat, which threatens the survival and development of sovereign states and human kind as a whole. It has become a major threat to international security in the post 9/11 world, Post colonial world has witnessed the advent of many forms of terrorism including ethnic and seperatist. Ethnic terrorism is voilence motivated by ethnic hatred. Ethnic terrorists demand more political representation and share in resouorces. Ethnic and separatist terrorism causes greater difficulty for the state as use of force results in broader support for insurgency. Ethnic terrorism motivates separatist movements. Separatist or nationalist terrorists are also motivated by nationalism and seek to form self determination in some form. This ranges from gaining more autonomy or establishing a seperate sovereign state. Islamic terrorism which has garnered support from almost every part of the world has emerged in the post cold war world. Islamic terrorists are motivated by Islamic ideology. They use citations from Quran and Hadis to justify their voilent acts.
Pakistan is one of the states most affected by terrorism. Ethnic, separatist and Islamic terrorism are the major form of terrorism faced by Pakistan. They have threatened the basic human rights of the society. Terorism has claimed 60,000 lives in Pakistan and 12.8 billion dollars in economy. The 16 year long war on terror has resulted in a refugee crisis and hundreds of thousands of people are internally displaced. Terrorism in Pakistan is caused by internal and external reasons. If affects the political, economic and societal framework of the country and is indeed one of the biggest threats faced by Pakistan.

overall good effort, but you are missing one thing that is necessary to discuss terrorism. that is involvement of foreign hands. in case of Pakistan ethnic and separatist movements are not only causes of destruction but RAW and American involvement in Balochistan and KPK is more severe cause.
overall a good attempt.
cheers.

Thank you for your reply. I was thinking of writing the causes in the body of the essay rather than the introduction. Do you think the introduction flows?

Thank you for your reply. I was thinking of writing the causes in the body of the essay rather than the introduction. Do you think the introduction flows?

intro is all right. it is the point which my teacher corrected in my first essay,so i communicated. examiner must know what you are going to write in body of essay. it is seldom that someone go through your whole essay. and try avoiding the word "Islamic Terrorism".

One thing I noticed in your essay is that you define the term Ethnic terrorism. It is a good idea as you cannot assume your reader knows everything. However, in my opinion, if you are going to define one then you should define the other too. You have defined ethnic terrorism but at the same time assumed that the reader knows what separatist terrorism is. Maybe its not such a big issue but for me as the reader, I find it odd that you need to tell me what ethnic means but assume I know what separatist means. I would either define both or none.

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Thank you for the feedback and yes your point makes a lot of sense. I will keep that in mind when i re write it

Oh i understand now what you were trying to say that i should include it in my thesis statement? Instead of islamic terrorism what should i use?

thank you very much for helping me out it means alot to me.

you can use the same theme but in different words. straight away stating Islamic Terrorism means that you are connecting two things on the base of scientific evidence. in this case if reader is bit conservative or religious he would definitively mind because this phenomenon has no proof. Religion has been connected with the terrorism and vice versa only on the behest of corporate media houses, corporations and super powers of the world to exploit the resources of the third world. so its better to avoid the using said term.

Totally agree with this. So glad to see not everyone is toeing Dawn's line, although its better to toe Dawn's line to be on safe side in paper while being careful about not being overly critical about Islam..

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