Being a minority is a fate no one wants, Can nationalism be really inclusive?
 

Please suggest improvements.

Being a minority is a fate no one wants, Can nationalism be really inclusive?

1. Introduction
Thesis statement: Minorities are persecuted around the world and history tells us that human beings struggled for equality throughout its existence yet the battle is not over.

2. Who are minorities?
Human perception: distinction of human beings in terms of their religion, language, caste, culture, gender etc.

2.1 Minorities in terms of Religion:
Three major religions (Hindu, Christianity, and Islam) while the rest are minor religions (Judaism, Jainism, Zoroastrianism etc.)

2.2 Minorities in terms of Culture:
Islamic culture, western culture, Asian culture.

2.3 Minorities in terms of caste-system
Caste-system is popular in third world countries especially South-Asian countries with India as a major example of it.

2.4 Minorities in terms of gender
Male vs female

2.5 Minorities in terms of language
English, Chinese, French, Urdu, Hindi etc.

3. Being a minority is fate no one wants. Why?

3.1 Minorities are persecuted around the world.
3.2 They do not have the freedom like the majority have.
3.3 They are considered the lowest class of a society.
3.4 They have restricted opportunities to live a prosperous life.
3.5 They are treated unfairly and unjustly.
3.6 They are denied their due rights.

4. Current examples of minority persecution in the world.

4.1 Rohingya Muslims persecution.
4.2 Persecution and denial of freedom for Kashmiri and Palestinian masses.
4.3 Islamophobia in western and European countries.
4.4 Persecutions of Shudras in India based on caste system.
4.5 Denial of freedom for Catalan people in Spain.
4.6 Denial of Kurdistan independence in the Middle East.

5. What is nationalism?
Merger of all differences among human beings and to give them a single identity to foster a sense of unity and loyalty.

6. Can nationalism be really inclusive? Yes

6.1 It provides equal opportunities for all.
6.2 It helps in the creation of a just society.
6.3 It discourages discrimination and ensures meritocracy.
6.4 It unites people and the sense of isolation disappears.
6.5 It ensures freedom over restrictions.
6.6 It eliminates extremism, hatred and prejudice.

7. Conclusion.

Karming would u like to have essay practice with me on daily basis?

[QUOTE=karming;1067156]Please suggest improvements.

Being a minority is a fate no one wants, Can nationalism be really inclusive?

1. Introduction
Thesis statement: Minorities are persecuted around the world and history tells us that human beings struggled for equality throughout its existence yet the battle is not over.

2. Who are minorities?
Human perception: distinction of human beings in terms of their religion, language, caste, culture, gender etc.

2.1 Minorities in terms of Religion:
Three major religions (Hindu, Christianity, and Islam) while the rest are minor religions (Judaism, Jainism, Zoroastrianism etc.)

2.2 Minorities in terms of Culture:
Islamic culture, western culture, Asian culture.

2.3 Minorities in terms of caste-system
Caste-system is popular in third world countries especially South-Asian countries with India as a major example of it.

2.4 Minorities in terms of gender
Male vs female

2.5 Minorities in terms of language
English, Chinese, French, Urdu, Hindi etc.

3. Being a minority is fate no one wants. Why?

3.1 Minorities are persecuted around the world.
3.2 They do not have the freedom like the majority have.
3.3 They are considered the lowest class of a society.
3.4 They have restricted opportunities to live a prosperous life.
3.5 They are treated unfairly and unjustly.
3.6 They are denied their due rights.

4. Current examples of minority persecution in the world.

4.1 Rohingya Muslims persecution.
4.2 Persecution and denial of freedom for Kashmiri and Palestinian masses.
4.3 Islamophobia in western and European countries.
4.4 Persecutions of Shudras in India based on caste system.
4.5 Denial of freedom for Catalan people in Spain.
4.6 Denial of Kurdistan independence in the Middle East.

5. What is nationalism?
Merger of all differences among human beings and to give them a single identity to foster a sense of unity and loyalty.

6. Can nationalism be really inclusive? Yes

6.1 It provides equal opportunities for all.
6.2 It helps in the creation of a just society.
6.3 It discourages discrimination and ensures meritocracy.
6.4 It unites people and the sense of isolation disappears.
6.5 It ensures freedom over restrictions.
6.6 It eliminates extremism, hatred and prejudice.

7. Conclusion.[/QUOTE]


Good efforts .. I like your outline

Hey, I am a no expert so take it just as a constructive criticism.
I think that your second variable that is 'who are minorities' deserves only one paragraph, not five.
Apart from that I also maintain that you should converge the 3rd and 4th heading so that your paragraphs look more convincing. From I could understand is that your 3rd and 4th variables talk about the same thing.
Other than these 2 things. I think the outline is quite persuasive and succinct.

From my prospective 2-2.5 points are extra.
you should not cover that much about minority introduction as it is not in focus of the examiner.

The thing you should focus more on is [QUOTE]Can nationalism be really inclusive?[/QUOTE]

U r right shah.. There is no need to elaborate topic too much when your are writing an essay.. Instead of elaborating or defining topic .. Attemptee should focus on what has been asked..

I really appreciate all of the suggestions. An outline is just a mere representation of how an essay is being written. I agree that few of the topics are redundant. However, their inclusion isn’t unnecessary if one knows how many words are enough to cover them. Topic 2 needs to be covered in a concise way which shouldn’t be too long nor too small. Instead of opinion, exact information is required in this section. Apart from that, I did not merge topic 3 and 4 because topic 3 needs to be covered by keeping the views of different subjects like sociology, law, economics, political science etc. with reference to the essay. Topic 4 is based on opinion and justification for the later part of an essay which is “nationalism”. I intentionally kept the topic 6 limited to cover the essay on time. However, its lengths and arguments can be varied based on the available time. Thanks and once again, I appreciate all those who replied as your suggestions are how others learn from your experience.