Essay-outline. kindly shed some light.. aspirants

[The dream of rain]

dear aspirants, review this outline and share your thoughts..
criticism is appreciated..
...

Democracy in Pakistan: hopes and hurdles

1. Introduction
2. Brief history of democracy in Pakistan.
3. Present situation of democracy in Pakistan: developing.
4. Hurdles in democracy
a. Corruption
b. Political restraints on bureaucracy
c. Rising political polarization
d. Personalization of political parties
e. Shrinking civilian space: military intervention
f. Judicial activism: manipulative interpretation of the constitution
g. Curbs on media
h. Political discrimination against women
i. Pre-poll election rigging
5. Hopes promising better future: suggestions
a. Across the board accountability
b. Political maturity
c. De-politicization of bureaucracy
d. Judicial reforms: re-defining judicial jurisdiction
e. Promote free media
f. Enhanced role of Election Commission of Pakistan
g. Women’s political empowerment
h. Civil-military dialogue: creating trust.
6. Conclusion

[GanXTeR]

Originally Posted by The dream of rain

dear aspirants, review this outline and share your thoughts..
criticism is appreciated..
...

Democracy in Pakistan: hopes and hurdles

1. Introduction
2. Brief history of democracy in Pakistan.
3. Present situation of democracy in Pakistan: developing.
4. Hurdles in democracy
a. Corruption
b. Political restraints on bureaucracy
c. Rising political polarization
d. Personalization of political parties
e. Shrinking civilian space: military intervention
f. Judicial activism: manipulative interpretation of the constitution
g. Curbs on media
h. Political discrimination against women
i. Pre-poll election rigging
5. Hopes promising better future: suggestions
a. Across the board accountability
b. Political maturity
c. De-politicization of bureaucracy
d. Judicial reforms: re-defining judicial jurisdiction
e. Promote free media
f. Enhanced role of Election Commission of Pakistan
g. Women’s political empowerment
h. Civil-military dialogue: creating trust.
6. Conclusion

outline is not impressive one. dont think so you did well in the body. essay outline was not organised or properly structured. you were required to show your personal,approach and creativity.

primarily in pakistan there was issue of what kind of govt is favrable( presidentisial or parliamentary) and constitional crisis as to changing forma of govt.
further, the organs of state and that time conflict between executive and judiciary(disqualification of p,m)
previous role of army to dissolve assemblies and ascend to th4one. the current stance of army not to intervene in the democrtic process
constitutional p4ovision and treason
election provision
govt of people and public accountability th3ough votes is missing in your outline and many other points

if you had explained in the body all the said points conaidering the pakistan political,democratic syatem then you are in safe zonw otberwise 50/50.

best of luck

[saddam hassain]

Originally Posted by The dream of rain

dear aspirants, review this outline and share your thoughts..
criticism is appreciated..
...

Democracy in Pakistan: hopes and hurdles

1. Introduction
2. Brief history of democracy in Pakistan.
3. Present situation of democracy in Pakistan: developing.
4. Hurdles in democracy
a. Corruption
b. Political restraints on bureaucracy
c. Rising political polarization
d. Personalization of political parties
e. Shrinking civilian space: military intervention
f. Judicial activism: manipulative interpretation of the constitution
g. Curbs on media
h. Political discrimination against women
i. Pre-poll election rigging
5. Hopes promising better future: suggestions
a. Across the board accountability
b. Political maturity
c. De-politicization of bureaucracy
d. Judicial reforms: re-defining judicial jurisdiction
e. Promote free media
f. Enhanced role of Election Commission of Pakistan
g. Women’s political empowerment
h. Civil-military dialogue: creating trust.
6. Conclusion

Understanding of given essay topic is of paramount importance.
As the essay is 'Democracy in pakistan: hopes and hurdles, while you have perceived hopes as suggestions, this shows the lack of understanding of the topic. hopes and suggestions are two different things.
for instance, positive decentralization to the provinces and active civil society are hopes.
However, soaring illiteracy and institutional imbalance are hurdles in the way of democracy to flourish.

[GanXTeR]

Originally Posted by saddam hassain

Understanding of given essay topic is of paramount importance.
As the essay is 'Democracy in pakistan: hopes and hurdles, while you have perceived hopes as suggestions, this shows the lack of understanding of the topic. hopes and suggestions are two different things.
for instance, positive decentralization to the provinces and active civil society are hopes.
However, soaring illiteracy and institutional imbalance are hurdles in the way of democracy to flourish.

you nicely evaluated the outline. he linked hopes with suggestion therefore in my opinion hopes and suggestions togather would not give bad impact, if he had not used the word hopes in outline of body then he might face annoyance of the examiner. point 6 is pretty much convincing though needed more elaboration and sub points to convey his mind to the examiner.