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  #21  
Old Tuesday, September 07, 2021
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Default Introduction: Gender Equality is a myth!

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Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
Though its a good attempt, content need more work. Add more points in "why its a myth." And the argument that "political is level playing field..." rules out the face that there are more men in politics than women.. Women also faces barriers in various aspects just to enter... Add more concrete arguments in both.

It will be better to write one liner/short sentences in the outline, makes it easier to convey.

Keep practicing!

hope it helps!
I have revised the outline, keeping in view your suggestions. Please have a look at the introduction of the essay also.
INTRDODUCTION: GENDER EQUALITY IS A MYTH!
The year was 1989. The Berlin Wall had fallen. A female quantum chemist, aged 35, crossed from East to West Germany and availed a chance to enter into a male-dominated field – politics. Astonishingly, her political ascent culminated in Germany’s Chancellorship. The woman was Angela Merkel who is Germany’s first and most powerful female Chancellor. During her 16 years in office, she has steered Germany relatively unscathed through global political and financial crisis and has certainly outperformed her male counterparts. How a female from a small town of Berlin was able to excel in a patriarchal field? How was she able to succeed in a leadership role which is considered suitable only for men? What placed her in an equal position to that of her male equivalents? Indeed, it was her ambition, her intellectual prowess and the suitable exposure given to her, which secured her position among the world’s most powerful leaders. Like Angela Merkel, there are many empowered women in the world who are practically embracing the idea of gender equality. Nonetheless, many people still posit that gender equality is a myth. No doubt, gender inequality had been present in the earlier civilizations because of the importance of physical strength. However, the modern world thrives on intellectual brilliance which is not restricted to any gender. Furthermore, the social norms are now more gender tolerant, the economic spheres are more participatory and political realms are more inclusive than before. The gender gap is perpetually diminishing, although at a slow pace. Gender equality still has a long way to go, but it is achievable in any way. If equitable opportunities are provided regardless of the gender, anyone can excel based on his or her capabilities. Thus, gender equality is not a myth in the modern world rather it is achievable in an inclusive and participatory society with equitable standards along with provision of equal opportunities to both genders.
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  #22  
Old Tuesday, September 07, 2021
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When they say gender equality is myth do they want to know the present situation of gender inclusiveness or from the perspective of psychical and biological point of view

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i totally agree with you sir
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  #24  
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Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
Good outline, arguments specifically in the global dynamics are convincing. But the ones given in Pakistan's foreign policy sound more like issues. This doesn't mean they are wrong but thing is they need to be rephrased.
It should highlight how Pakistan has aligned its foreign policy under such dynamics. "Determinants" are not necessary. Recommendations for what? make it clear. Don't just leave headings on the way.

Hope it helps!
Thankyou so much. Your feedback is always very helpful.
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  #25  
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Originally Posted by KhanMomin View Post
When they say gender equality is myth do they want to know the present situation of gender inclusiveness or from the perspective of psychical and biological point of view

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The examiner actually wants the candidate to accept or reject the statement that gender equality is a myth. It is quite obvious that gender equality is not present right now in the world. So the examiner won't ask for such a simple answer. The candidate has to present arguments that whether it will be possible in the future to achieve gender equality or not. As a civil servant, our answer should be progressive and in favor of the gender equality. But if someone wants to oppose the statement, he or she can also do so.
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  #26  
Old Tuesday, September 07, 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinzakhokher View Post
I have revised the outline, keeping in view your suggestions. Please have a look at the introduction of the essay also.
INTRDODUCTION: GENDER EQUALITY IS A MYTH!
The year was 1989. The Berlin Wall had fallen. A female quantum chemist, aged 35, crossed from East to West Germany and availed a chance to enter into a male-dominated field – politics. Astonishingly, her political ascent culminated in Germany’s Chancellorship. The woman was Angela Merkel who is Germany’s first and most powerful female Chancellor. During her 16 years in office, she has steered Germany relatively unscathed through global political and financial crisis and has certainly outperformed her male counterparts. How a female from a small town of Berlin was able to excel in a patriarchal field? How was she able to succeed in a leadership role which is considered suitable only for men? What placed her in an equal position to that of her male equivalents? Indeed, it was her ambition, her intellectual prowess and the suitable exposure given to her, which secured her position among the world’s most powerful leaders. Like Angela Merkel, there are many empowered women in the world who are practically embracing the idea of gender equality. Nonetheless, many people still posit that gender equality is a myth. No doubt, gender inequality had been present in the earlier civilizations because of the importance of physical strength. However, the modern world thrives on intellectual brilliance which is not restricted to any gender. Furthermore, the social norms are now more gender tolerant, the economic spheres are more participatory and political realms are more inclusive than before. The gender gap is perpetually diminishing, although at a slow pace. Gender equality still has a long way to go, but it is achievable in any way. If equitable opportunities are provided regardless of the gender, anyone can excel based on his or her capabilities. Thus, gender equality is not a myth in the modern world rather it is achievable in an inclusive and participatory society with equitable standards along with provision of equal opportunities to both genders.
Introduction is good, but i noticed one thing in your outline that since you claim that gender equality is not a myth, so it must be made top heading not the ''III.'' Plus also add socio-economic and political arguments to backup up your claim in addition to bio ones, as i said earlier. Because physical/biological difference is rather secondary than the other ones.


Quote:
Originally Posted by KhanMomin View Post
When they say gender equality is myth do they want to know the present situation of gender inclusiveness or from the perspective of psychical and biological point of view

Sent from my RMX2020 using Tapatalk
Not just physical/biological point but there are other factors at play too.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Prosparynaa View Post
Thankyou so much. Your feedback is always very helpful.
Appreciated!
By the way, it would be good to click on "thanks" icon under every posts than to type it, would ease you also.

Keep practicing and uploading.
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The dream of rain For This Useful Post:
kinzakhokher (Tuesday, September 07, 2021), Prosparynaa (Wednesday, September 08, 2021)
  #27  
Old Tuesday, September 07, 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
Introduction is good, but i noticed one thing in your outline that since you claim that gender equality is not a myth, so it must be made top heading not the ''III.'' Plus also add socio-economic and political arguments to backup up your claim in addition to bio ones, as i said earlier. Because physical/biological difference is rather secondary than the other ones.
Keep practicing and uploading.
Ok Thank you I'll keep that in mind. I have added more points in the outline such as logical, scientific, socio-political and economic arguments.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prosparynaa View Post
Global Power Dynamics and Foreign Policy
of Pakistan

1.Introduction
1.1- Insight into the changing global power
1.2- Pakistan's foreign policy-Irrational, generous and impulsive-everything a foreign policy should not be

2. Global Power Dynamics
2.1- Evolving from a Unipolar to a multipolar world with emerging
powers including China,India,Australia and Brazil
2. 2- Shifting balance of domination: Militarily to economically
- The US ending its military engagements in Afghanistan and
Iraq
- -US-China trade war
-South China Sea controversy
-OBRI vs B3W
- Israel's domination in the middle east despite its size
2.3-Rise of China as the next superpower
2.4-The growing US-China conflict- The beginning of a new cold war?
2.5- Emergency of Russia into the global political picture
2.6- Upsurge of Populism and Nationalistic sentiments- An antidote to
globalization
-Modi's Hindutva's exclusion of minorities
-Brexit as the edifice of EU's fragmentation
2.7- Resurrection of Taliban and its implications on the global power
order and regional stablity
2.8 Middle East- A conflict zone and home of proxy wars

3-Pakistan's foreign policy- Determinants
3.1- Geography
3.2- Political
3.3- Economical
3.4- Religious

4-Pakistan's foreign Policy - Current Scenario
4.1- Deepening resentment with India over Kashmir issues leading to obscured political and economical ties.
4.2- China-Pakistan ties in the backdrop of CPEC and US-China conflict
4.3- The apparent hopes and threats of the new Taliban 2.0 government
4.4- Changing dynamics of the US-Pak relations with special refrence to Afghanistan and the former's tilt towards India
4.5- Pakistan's relation with the European Union- It's 3rd largest exporter
4.6- Cordial relations with the Muslim world with special reference to Turkey, Saudia and Malaysia
4.7- Support for the Palestinian cause and it's subsequent sour relations with Israel
4.8- Neutral stance in the Middle Eastern conflict.

5-Reccomendations
6-Conclusion
I think that your outline treats the global power dynamics and foreign policy of pakistan as two distinct or different things, in fact the topic asks to analyse the foreign policy of pakistan in the context of changing global power dynamics. So If I would attempt that I would have related each dynamic with foreign policy of Pakistan first, and then discuss whether pakistan is going in the right direction or not. And ur thesis statement looks very negative like you have totally rejected the foreign policy of Pakistan which is giving a bit of bad impression. As a civil services aspirant, our approach should be progressive and hopeful. U can’t just reject the overall policy at once. Who else agrees?
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  #28  
Old Thursday, September 09, 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Prosparynaa View Post
Global Power Dynamics and Foreign Policy
of Pakistan

1.Introduction
1.1- Insight into the changing global power
1.2- Pakistan's foreign policy-Irrational, generous and impulsive-everything a foreign policy should not be

2. Global Power Dynamics
2.1- Evolving from a Unipolar to a multipolar world with emerging
powers including China,India,Australia and Brazil
2. 2- Shifting balance of domination: Militarily to economically
- The US ending its military engagements in Afghanistan and
Iraq
- -US-China trade war
-South China Sea controversy
-OBRI vs B3W
- Israel's domination in the middle east despite its size
2.3-Rise of China as the next superpower
2.4-The growing US-China conflict- The beginning of a new cold war?
2.5- Emergency of Russia into the global political picture
2.6- Upsurge of Populism and Nationalistic sentiments- An antidote to
globalization
-Modi's Hindutva's exclusion of minorities
-Brexit as the edifice of EU's fragmentation
2.7- Resurrection of Taliban and its implications on the global power
order and regional stablity
2.8 Middle East- A conflict zone and home of proxy wars

3-Pakistan's foreign policy- Determinants
3.1- Geography
3.2- Political
3.3- Economical
3.4- Religious

4-Pakistan's foreign Policy - Current Scenario
4.1- Deepening resentment with India over Kashmir issues leading to obscured political and economical ties.
4.2- China-Pakistan ties in the backdrop of CPEC and US-China conflict
4.3- The apparent hopes and threats of the new Taliban 2.0 government
4.4- Changing dynamics of the US-Pak relations with special refrence to Afghanistan and the former's tilt towards India
4.5- Pakistan's relation with the European Union- It's 3rd largest exporter
4.6- Cordial relations with the Muslim world with special reference to Turkey, Saudia and Malaysia
4.7- Support for the Palestinian cause and it's subsequent sour relations with Israel
4.8- Neutral stance in the Middle Eastern conflict.

5-Reccomendations
6-Conclusion
The length of your outline is satisfactory if you can manage to complete it. There is an issue in point 1.2. Totally negating the policy of the country might sound catchy but at the same time absurd. Sure, there can be some issues with Pakistan Foreign Policy or some points with which you might not agree ( based on certain indicators), but outrightly rejecting it is incorrect.

The arguments of Global power dynamics are perfect. However, your outline takes a wrong turn after that.
(I) There shouldn't be more than 1 paragraph to highlight the detriments of foreign policy ( since it never was a requirement of the essay).
(II) The 4 heading of your essay needs to be completely revamped and written according to 2nd heading. You need to discuss that how Pakistan is dealing with the changing scenario of power change.

For example: Pakistan is trying to balance both China and the USA and is trying to avoid taking sides; Pakistan is highlighting Hindutva Ideology at International forums; Pakistan has been evading entanglement into Saudi-Iran conflicts; it's trying to unite and empower Muslims by revamping OIC; we are acknowledging the rise of Russia and therefore improving our ties with Russia.

Hope that helps
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  #29  
Old Thursday, September 09, 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kinzakhokher View Post
I think that your outline treats the global power dynamics and foreign policy of pakistan as two distinct or different things, in fact the topic asks to analyse the foreign policy of pakistan in the context of changing global power dynamics. So If I would attempt that I would have related each dynamic with foreign policy of Pakistan first, and then discuss whether pakistan is going in the right direction or not. And ur thesis statement looks very negative like you have totally rejected the foreign policy of Pakistan which is giving a bit of bad impression. As a civil services aspirants, our approach should be progressive and hopeful. U can’t just reject the overall policy at once. Who else agrees?
You're right about the foreign policy point but I do believe that the topic of "Global power dynamics" has to be dealt with separately. I've tried to incorporate the implications of these dynamics on Pakistan's foreign policy. Thankyou btw.

Quote:
Originally Posted by waqarsarwarabbasi View Post
The length of your outline is satisfactory if you can manage to complete it. There is an issue in point 1.2. Totally negating the policy of the country might sound catchy but at the same time absurd. Sure, there can be some issues with Pakistan Foreign Policy or some points with which you might not agree ( based on certain indicators), but outrightly rejecting it is incorrect.

The arguments of Global power dynamics are perfect. However, your outline takes a wrong turn after that.
(I) There shouldn't be more than 1 paragraph to highlight the detriments of foreign policy ( since it never was a requirement of the essay).
(II) The 4 heading of your essay needs to be completely revamped and written according to 2nd heading. You need to discuss that how Pakistan is dealing with the changing scenario of power change.

For example: Pakistan is trying to balance both China and the USA and is trying to avoid taking sides; Pakistan is highlighting Hindutva Ideology at International forums; Pakistan has been evading entanglement into Saudi-Iran conflicts; it's trying to unite and empower Muslims by revamping OIC; we are acknowledging the rise of Russia and therefore improving our ties with Russia.

Hope that helps
I have tried to link the two but I agree, the foreign policy part needs to be revamped as suggested by you all. It does help a lot. Thank you.
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  #30  
Old Tuesday, January 04, 2022
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The dream of rain View Post
This thread is started for aspirants appearing in CE-22 to share, assess, practice essays at one place. It will be helpful to be at one place rather than being all over.
Post your outlines, essays here!
Can I get facts and figures on recent topics,for essay paper
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